‘Sir’ and ‘Miss’ in schools is everyday sexism

I’m usually Mrs toast but sometimes get called miss, doesn’t bother me at all, I think half of the children presume it’s a shortening of Mrs rather than a dig at my lesser status than the Sirs, I also sometimes get called Mum or mrs other teachers name and sometimes Mr Toast, the only time it bothers me is when the head calls me Miss because he’s rarely there and can’t be bothered to learn anyone’s name.

Sir and Ma’am at my school, equal.

Is it a regional thing? Miss and Sir are widely used where I teach (North West) but have friends in other parts of the country who aren't addressed like that.

I don't find "Miss" disrespectful or sexist at all. Where I am, all male teachers are "Sir" and all females are "Miss", and our students don't seem to think about whether one title carries more respect than the other. Their respect is to do with relationships, not title.

Using names isn't really the equivalent of using Sir or Miss. I went to a girls' grammar where we didn't use Sir/Miss, but the local boys' grammars that we did occasional trips or events with did. I used to think they sounded much more polite/respectful than we did. We'd say "Yes." They'd say "Yes Miss/Sir."
Names didn't tend to be added to every sentence in the way "Sir/Miss" was by the boys' schools.
I have a feeling that if Comps didn't use Sir/Miss but private/grammars did, people whose kids attend private/grammar would be saying how amazingly respectful Sir/Miss is.

I much prefer Miss to You Bitch, that’s the only term I’ve ever objected to.

Given the state of teaching at the moment it's more than possible that kids will have 20+ different teachers on covers / supply over the week. And it's just quick and convenient. It's not about low expectations or standards at all. Anyone gives me ANY sort of cheek or backchat and they'll be in serious trouble but I simply don't see it as disrespect or discourteous in the context of school to be "Miss" and given that it's me doing it, I think that's what matters. If anything I'm more offended by you insisting I MUST be upset about it and am somehow dimly missing some egregious act of sexism.

I’ve been a teacher in primary school for a long time. I’m either Mrs Grazia or Miss. I don’t mind being Miss at all. It’s a big school and it’s helpful for children who don’t know your name. They want to be polite so Miss it is.

But presumably they have the same form tutor and the same subject teachers most of the time. So what’s so difficult about learning their names? Even if they don’t know the names of endless subs? Most kids are taking, what, 10 GCSEs? So maybe a couple more subjects in the years before that?

Feom this thread there are clearly plenty of schools that use actual names rather than sir/miss. So why can’t they all?

Such low expectations.

I absolutely do not allow children to call me “Miss” at work, anymore than I let them call me “Teacher”. It just doesn’t sit well with me. I’d rather a child called me by my first name. It’s taught language, and although children will be unaware that it’s sexist to call male staff “sir” and female staff “miss”
doesn’t mean it’s OK.

Our HT calls all staff Sir or Miss, even though he knows our names perfectly well. It’s one battle at a time with him, but he is receptive to adapting with the times, so I am going to be raising it before too long.

Beyond unreasonable, nutter carry on.

So many issues in the world and you are worrying about that!!

There will 70+ teachers in a large secondary, many of whom will never be the regular class teacher if a particular child but might cover a lesson or be on lunch queue duty. It's perfectly reasonable that lots of kids will never know the names of lots of the teachers and vice versa.

I can see the argument either way. Most of the teachers and teaching assistants I know are just generally happy if spoken to kindly, with some preferring [title] name.

For me, my everyday sexism gripe is whether we use Miss, Ms, or Mrs, it's just part of a word. Mister is always said in full even if written as Mr., but we have to cut up Mistress because of the negative and/or sexual connotations that are attached to that and pretty much every other title we come up with for women.

And we can't really opt out - I'd rather have no title, but 'computer says no' a lot of the time.

I don't see why we have to mess about with women's titles and diminished them rather than let society reach parity.

Women's titles, in English, being solely about marriage is a late Victorian/early Edwardian messabout that could be argued was quite diminishing. We have records before that of women in professions using the whole range and more merrily before it got watered down.

Similar to the idea that everyone has a title and how respect is entrenched in the idea of titles rather than being respected enough with our names.

What’s your alternative out of interest? I honestly don’t see the issue or even care. Kids don’t see it like that.

I worked in one that did this. I really didn't like it - not sure why. I think it was the way it sounded perpetually arsey when said by a surly teen. The students definitely didn't distinguish it as more equal, it was just another thing you had to pull people up on... Miss and Sir are just names, rather than a signifier of respect in a school context.

I generally use Ms, am Miss in school and Mrs on old bills/odd things (I kept my married name post divorce). I really couldn't care less by which I am called (though correct the children if they use Mr or Sir, unless they're excited or upset). I'd rather my name, but that's not allowed in my current school.

We are always trying to change things. Sir and Miss work. What would the alternative be?

I think it’s important that we don’t remove these titles so that there is a clear distinction in who is in charge and respect. I was speaking to a friend about respectful cultures and language - in the UK it’s common for young people to call an adult by first name - whilst in other cultures titles are used and I think it’s a nice way to show respect.

Why on earth can’t they learn their names? Presumably they know the names of all 30 kids in their class plus a load more from their year. They can cope with learning, what, a dozen or so teachers’ names, surely.

Isn't that just Miss and Madam? Although granted Miss implies marital status too.

In school colleagues called me by my full first name but friends outside school called me the shortened version. I liked to maintain some separation.

I don't think kids in a large secondary know all the teachers by name whether first name or surname hence Sir/Miss. As a primary school teacher I was Miss/Mrs [name] but when I retired and did exam invigilation for 5 years I was called Miss as they didn't know my name (unless I had taught them as 5 year olds).

Sir and Miss are used generally at our school. I am married but pupils call me Miss and I sign-off as Miss on emails. If I am talking about/to other teachers I would use Sir/Miss too. I can see OP’s point but it is simple and personally I always feel like it is said respectfully by pupils.

Id hate to be called by my first name. My colleagues call me by my first name. There are someone schools in Ireland that use first names.

I don't really care and don't think I'd like to be called Ma'am....I would feel like a police woman. Kids either call me Miss or just address me as Mrs Wanda...or occasional Mum or Sir by accident.

Maybe kids should just call them by their first name in 2025

In Norway we called our teachers by their first names - much less sexism there, and a much better school culture 😊. A much less toxic country overall. We didn't wear uniform either!

Teacher. Or just use first harness. Worked perfectly well in my dc's school