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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want £500 spending money from DH monthly?

33 replies

DonutEnvy · 27/03/2025 14:08

We have 2 young kids (under 2.5 years old) and right now I am a SAHM.
I didn’t really enjoy my healthcare job, but I am looking to go back part time soon as financially it will help us with extra treats and saving abit more.

DH works hard full time and we have a joint acc for everything, but I am always budgeting and “penny counting” everything I spend (I’m type A personality he’s 100% type B).

DH doesn’t want me to go back to work because he knows I didn’t enjoy it, and wants me to be with the kids but I said until I can have around £500/ month guilt free spending (to make plans/ treat myself and kids etc) I will work part time. He is slowly working his way up at work but isn’t at that position yet.

Kids will be in nursery mainly funded 2 days a week. AIBU to still go back to work part time so I can have extra income and spending money?

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 27/03/2025 14:22

I have voted YABU. You want to go back to work to fund your own personal treat money rather than contribute to the household. Does your DH get £500 a month to himself? It sounds like you are quite selfish in wanting extra money for this reason yet currently expect DH to pay for everything.

Scrapper142 · 27/03/2025 14:16

It should be £500 plus pension

Redpeach · 27/03/2025 14:15

You should both have equal access to all the money, you're looking after his kids

Sirzy · 27/03/2025 14:13

Do you have enough for £1000 a month guilt free spending? Because he should get the same surely?

but it sounds like you going back to work is the best option but can you look to change to a job you enjoy more?

CurlsLDN · 27/03/2025 14:11

Look at all the money coming in each month in each scenario

from those 2 totals take out the bills, food, petrol, childcare, any other required spending and saving

if there is enough left in either column for BOTH of you to have £500 leisure money EACH then your plan is workable

Bogfrog · 27/03/2025 14:10

The way we do it is have separate accounts and we each have half the overall income in our private accounts. All kid/family costs are split equally. Then neither of us have to explain our spending, we can budget for our own treats etc.

NuffSaidSam · 27/03/2025 14:10

You don't want £500 from DH, you want to go to work and earn it, which is entirely reasonable.

greenlorryblue · 27/03/2025 14:09

YANBU of course. £500 isn’t a lot for the month if it includes things for the children too. Why is he in charge of the finances though? If you’re married and have DC together, all money should be shared.

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