To think that grief vultures are just as bad as those who disappear?

I think it’s a big problem online that started getting worse when the Alfie Evan’s story was all over social media. There’s countless ‘journey’ pages on various platforms and they can’t all be full of support, people love to ghoul.

I agree. I think sadly there are quite a lot of people who thrive on the sense that other people are not in control of their lives. They enjoy the drama but also feed off the feeling of power it gives them.

You see plenty of those on MN! Especially in acute medical situations involving a child and there hasn't been an update in a while. All the nosy grief vultures come out and start bumping the thread with "Thinking of you OP" or "Hope things are ok OP", when it's obvious the OP will update in their own time if there's anything worth updating.

I agree. I think sadly there are quite a lot of people who thrive on the sense that other people are not in control of their lives. They enjoy the drama but also feed off the feeling of power it gives them.

I have an acquaintance who always has to be the "senior partner" in every friendship and is uncomfortable with people who have agency and can assert themselves. Over time I've seen her destroy lots of friendships when people push back: it always leads to drama and a bust up.

Lots of people are not at all good at relationships which allow other people equality in the dynamic.

Grief vultures are worse, by far.

The ones who disappear just can't handle it, which I get,they are just thoughtless

The grief vultures want all of the attention without having to deal with the pain of the actual tragedy. They put time and effort into using your situation to gain sympathy and attention for themselves, which is pretty calculated.

I had quite a few after the deaths of my children.

It's easy, when grieving, to not ask for what would really help.
No one knows what each person needs most unless they say.
It's fairly normal to be alerted by a death in the family and to offer to help out and fairly normal to be told that just being there is a comfort.
I genuinely don't think people visit the grieving as a sport.

They are doing their best and are also sad at the time too.
Reality of life means that everyone goes back to their day jobs.

As a culture we don't deal well with grief. On the basis that no-one is perfect I try not to judge either the vultures or the disappearers too harshly (or the ones who put their foot in it with something insensitive). If they're good people otherwise then I'm sure they're trying their best.

I think grief vultures are actually worse, getting enjoyment out of someone else's misfortune.

My sister has a friend like this, the most supportive person in the world during a crisis, really steps up and goes beyond what you’d expect. Once the crisis has passed she loses interest and moves on to the next person who needs rescuing.

I think you’ll have to elaborate on the situation OP to get more insightful answers. In what context? What would a grief vulture do?