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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about my friend and her partner with Huntingtons?

53 replies

Stanwyck · 27/03/2025 13:15

My friend J has huntingtons. Lovely man, not a bad bone in his body before the illness.

Through him I met S, and they started dating. Two weeks after they started dating, he revealed to her he had huntingtons. At the time I hoped she wouldn’t stay with him because while I sympathised with him, it was early days and I knew how bad it would get and would be a carer at 40ish.

Now he lives with her and he is deteriorating. While she sought medical advice, they said they didn’t think he was depressed and provided no medication.

Yesterday she admitted she is sometimes scared of him. He is pouring water in her shoes to stop her going out, hiding her belongings, having tantrums, being nasty, smearing food on walls and she is struggling.

I don’t know what to suggest or how to help. Does anyone have advice?

OP posts:
Louisetopaz21 · 27/03/2025 13:19

Sounds possible the behaviours are symptomatic of his progressive illness. She can contact social care but she should consider if she wants to continue in this relationship. Does he have a specialised nurse involved. I have worked with clients with Huntingtons and due to the damage it causes to the brain the behaviour will get worse sadly.

DenholmElliot11 · 27/03/2025 13:17

His twattish behaviour isn’t anything to do with huntingdons. Plus there’s no reason why you shouldn’t date someone with huntingtons! Or even marry them if that’s what you want!

FionnulaTheCooler · 27/03/2025 13:17

Is the house in her name only? If so she needs to chuck him out and change the locks. Having a disability doesn't excuse being an abusive prick.