Mother's Day - AIBU

I have 2 children who have been 3 year olds who both managed this.

I mean DS's card was a piece of paper with a scribble on and DD's was one where she'd put some stickers on a section of cereal box that she'd taken out of the recyling bin and written "Mummy" on - but they were both "cards" in my eyes.

I accept we were a house where age appropriate craft material was permanently available for the DC to use. If your child doesn't even have access to paper and crayons, then, yes, it's harder.

Most 3 year olds also go to some sort of nursery or pre-school and have likely made a card there.

Quite. He isnt interested though. He probably isn't going to miss the father’s day hamper. but i would match the energy. But again it wont matter

mumsnet is a wierd place to aay your dh is being shit about mothers day, your birthday, Christmas etc as so many women on here are competitively against any sort of acknowledgement id adults in celebratory ways. But you are not being unreasonable.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum - but it's no longer Mothering Sunday is it? It's an opportunity to hike up prices.

Agh, why are so many people saying to do the same on Father's Day?
My kids are teens now, but I'm still expecting some sort of acknowledgement and (even if they're out), I'll still be having a movie afternoon with DH and fizz.
DH and I aren't lovey dovey etc, but bloody hell we're on the same page re respect and putting in some appreciation of what weve done for our kids, and some celebration of getting through it all.

I want two days of the year to be relaxing and a bit of spoiling and appreciation. 0.5% of the year to be a vague thank-you for all the shit we've gone through, and an actual day to focus on the positives etc? Seems minimal effort yet extremely appreciated.

I don't want it to be an effort for my spouse to even fucking remember, and then I retaliate When he forgets. Grim.

Mother’s Day now is a far cry from the original Mothering Sunday.

It is very much commercialised.

Hamper full of little bits of what?

And does he actually want and appreciate them, whatever they are?

Regardless, reminding him of last postage day for Moonlig is just madness.

Who would actually want a card they’ve had to nag somebody to buy like that? You’d be as well just sending it yourself. Honestly, what is the point?

I wouldn’t be bothering about a card, just do nothing for Fathers Day.

If he’s a crap husband in other ways then tackle those issues, but I don’t think an over commercialised holiday is the way to go about it.

it literally says.. 'with help from an adult'

If very young, I'd expect your DH to help with this.

You expect a 3 year old to be able to make a card with no help from an adult?!??

I reminded him as he has been saying over the past couple of days that he keeps forgetting otherwise I wouldn't have said anything.

To be honest if my DH kept saying this and asked me to remind him, I'd refuse to do it and I'd tell him so, why did you entertain this and keep reminding him.. he has took what should be a simple task and made it your responsibility to remind him to do it.. and got angry with you over it.

I also don't think you are doing him any favours by doing all that stuff for him on fathers day, it is setting the bar really high for him to reciprocate, and it doesn't sound like he is 'that guy' that would, so you are setting yourself up for disappointment, just dial it back next time, do something from the kids that is a bit more organically from them. Help them buy a card and pick out a chocolate bar for him etc.

Blokes like this piss me off though, because they have literally months and months to sort out things like this, and get angry and shift blame when they've done absolutely fuck all about it.

Op yabu for agreeing to be the person that reminds someone when they say remind me, adults need their own system for remembering things

It's a Christian holiday mothering Sunday that's been celebrated for hundreds of years

Disagree. A nice man would say 'I've got it all covered darling we're going to have a lovely day for you what would you like
For your breakfast in bed?'

He sounds absolutely horrible you deserve much better than this on Mother's Day. Does he like you at all?

How old are your dc? Could they make a card for you? Then have your favourite breakfast and do something nice with them. Let them know it’s Mother’s Day so you’d like to do this thing with them.
Basically, show them how to acknowledge the day meaningfully for you so they’ll know as they grow. Let dh do the same for Father’s Day. It won’t need to involve you.

This is why Mother’s Day comes before Father’s Day…

I think just match his effort on father's day.

So you choose to do fathers day? That is ypur choice if i was reminded thr way you do this to him i would have a problem with it i take mothers day to be about what I want to my husband is not my son

Same for my husband he chooses what happens on fathers day i don't plan anything

He is a bad-tempered sod with no care or respect for you. Telling you to remind him ( as if you're his PA FFS) then blowing up when.you do?!
Honouing you one day a year is more effort than he thinks you're worth. Either get used to it, or get rid. Either way, fuck Father's Day this year.

Will DD be able to make you a card at nursery or school OP? You deserve a card and acknowledgement on Mother's Day. Hopefully your husband will pull it out of the bag and have a surprise. Take care.

It’s such a shame when one partner can’t be bothered to make any effort for this stuff. It doesn’t have to cost £££ It’s just a bit of fun, like birthdays and Christmas, that add a bit of joy. But for some families it seems to do the opposite.

If you stop Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, will your birthdays be next?

I would feel so pathetic and embarrassed if I had to remind a grown adult to buy me a card. I would prefer they don’t bother. Why can’t he set a reminder like a normal person? Just don’t bother on FD.

Honestly I’m one of those people who thinks these days are a bullshit commercial scam and I’d rather feel appreciated in every day life than on an enforced occasion.

But if your kids are too small to do anything for you themselves, why don’t you just book something that you want to do for yourself? Tell him he’s at home with the kids for the day and take yourself off to a spa or a fancy lunch.

I really don’t think there’s any point in receiving something that the children themselves haven’t organised.

Just put the same effort in for him for Father's Day. Also why waste money on moonpig there are plenty of shops with cards.

I’d defo cut back on the hamper. Sounds like so much more effort than what he puts in if he needs you to be his PA reminding him about the card. So disappointment is kind of inevitable when the effort levels are so umatched.

Also moonpig sends emails reminders if you ask them to - even if you don’t with things like Mother’s Day.