DSis threatening to destroy my family with secret recording what do I do?

I would act totally surprised and congratulate dsis for being an excellent editor then back it up with the context of the conversation she must have recorded and heavily edited

I would not say a single word to her again as you don’t know what she is recording. Or if you have to speak to her answer her with no reference to what she is talking about

Eg if she says she is going to send the recording to your dh if you don’t do something answer with

“Oh it was a lovely day out”. Then tell her she is breaking up and you will talk again soon and get cut off mid sentence

Or if in person carry on the conversation about your day out when she asks anything

She’ll use it again, if you give her what she wants.

Rip the bandaid off, and talk to your oh.

Depending on your relationship, I’d consider asking oh to contact her and ask for the recording. Then him not listen to it. This way she things he has, and her power is removed.

It depends on what kind of marriage you have, but if it was me I’d tell my husband that she has an old recording of me that she thinks would upset him and she’s threatening to send it to him. If he knows what she’s like he’d have my back and delete anything she sends without needing to know what it was. If he asked, I’d say the general topic of it (he’d probably guess anyway because there’s only a small number of things it could be really if it genuinely is innocent) and that’d be that.

Tell your dh. Then she loses the power. Do not speak to her ever again.

Just read your posts.

Find and destroy the recording. I assume she has played it to you so you are sure it exists?

Record her attempt at blackmail and tell the police.

Tell your husband that your sister made a recording that she has edited to make it sound worse.

To the people telling the OP to report her sister to the police... unless the sister is asking for money or threatening violence, I really don't think they'll do anything. The legal definition of blackmail is different from everyday usage of the term. The police can't get involved every time someone says "If you don't do X, I'll do Y" to a family member.

OP, you're going to have to give us a fuller picture before we can advise you. I'm stumped by what you could possibly have said that can't be explained away by context.

Police
Blackmail is an offence
Tell your dh and family and tell them what she's threatening and that it's totally being taken out of context

Everyone saying pretend it was AI, try and brush it under the carpet etc

You do realise it’s going to make things WORSE for OP when it comes to light.

If OP claims it was out of context and not that bad, just bloody tell DH!

If it was said out of context and not that bad then I think you’d be silly not to tell DH.

You do realise if your horrid sister does send the clip, you’re going to be made out a whole lot worse because DH is going to wonder why you kept it from him?

If your DH would rather take your sisters side than believe his wife who promises it was taken out of context, that’s on him

Do not do this. It won't shut it down, instead your sister will have more of a hold over you because she will know you lied.

this. Also IMO giving in or dithering makes you look more guilty and takes away more of your opportunity for any control. You are more likely to be believed over the out of context thing if you go in hard with flaming righteous "how dare you" anger than if you give in to blackmail. Giving in to blackmail looks like you are guilty and know it.

I wholeheartedly agree that you should try and get her recorded blackmailing you. And you MUST tell your husband. Tell him she's edited a silly conversation to make it sound bad and is trying to destroy your marriage out of jealousy, because it seems that might be her problem. Otherwise why would she do it ?? What does she want from you... money?? What?? REPORT HER TO THE POLICE !!!! If you're willing to go to the police you're husband would surely support you and realise she's being a vile, evil psychopath!!! How low can one person sink... blackmailing her own sister.

Do as MintViper suggests. Once you have put dear sister back in her box have nothing more to do with her. If she'll do this to you, she'll do worse and enjoy it. Shut her out.

Time to use the rise of AI to your benefit. Pretty much anything can be faked these days, and voice recordings are one of the easier ones. For example, the "recording" of Kier Starmer berating a staff member that came out last year.

Just deny you ever said it, that it's not you in the recording.

Although personally I'd be going to the police. She's committing a crime by blackmailing you.

This is scenario my friend who has one child would cite at people who have always been onto her 'why don't you have another child, to give your lovely daughter a sister so they would be there for each other when you die'.

And the next time and the time after that. You do know people then have power over you.

How far would you go to not upset your family

Murder, kidnapping, Armed Robbery?

Without knowing what's on the recording and how context makes a difference, it's hard to advise. However, the number of times when giving in to blackmail makes things better is vanishingly small. It may even be the case that it makes things worse, eg, if sis is demanding large sums of money. Acceding to that would turn the hole you think you're in now into the Grand Canyon.

I can't see that you've got anything to lose by talking to your DH before sis does. Ask yourself if what you said (with and without context) is more destructive than what she's doing. It's most unlikely to be the case, because blackmail is worse than most of the transgressions it exploits. Telling your DH doesn't guarantee he'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but it will take sis's power away from her.

You need to sit your husband down and tell him. Keeping a secret like that will come to no good. She will be dangling whatever it for ever.
Steal her thunder!
Your husband must know that she's a drama queen and what sounds like a nasty piece of work.

I would tell my DH, however hard it might be. Then I would block and never talk to DSis.

You have no idea if she will continue to blackmail you once you do whatever it is that she is asking you to do. I wouldn’t be able to live like that.

She sounds awful and I am sure she won’t be missed once you go NC.

Personally I would come clean, for two reasons. It'll weigh heavy on you and if it does come out at least you've already been honest. Secondly, you could give her what she wanted she will keep the demands coming or even get you to do what she wants and send it anyway. The latter will look horrific as she could also say not only was you tempting to cover uo the recording, but you had the option to come clean and chose not to so coukd have a bigger fallout. Come clean, deal with the consequences it's got to be better than this? Good luck, sounds really awful x

This.
She sounds absolutely horrible.
At least if you get in there first with husband you’ll have a chance to explain and add context to the situation.
Even if she doesn’t tell him now, how will you live with this hanging over you? The stress and anxiety of knowing she can drop the bomb whenever she wants?
I truly think in these circumstances, honestly is the best policy.

Well if you tell your DH you have a chance to explain it IN context. I’d take control

Apart from an affair or saying something truly, truly outrageous, there’s very little that would be that unforgivable to your DH to cause a divorce. Most secrets are worse in our heads than in reality. And if it’s just a case of you slagging him off, just explain it away with a bad day and that you were ranting.

Then after he knows, cut her off and explain to everyone why.

If you give in this time around, she’ll just keep it in her back pocket for whenever she needs it. You can’t live like that.

I concur. Make her really regret that she tried to pull that stunt. Then cut her out for good.

Tell your DH and go no contact with your sister. If your sister shows him the recording it’s going to look worse and if she doesn’t you will always be worried about her showing him.