DSis threatening to destroy my family with secret recording what do I do?

I'd just front it out. I have a private conversation with my sister and this is what I said. This is the context it was said in. She has recorder the conversation and just clipped a small part of it. Now she's trying to bribe me with a recording. I'm sorry if you feel hurt/angry/ betrayed by what I said because that was never my intention. It comes across badly because its not in context and just a snippet.

This is what I’d do. You can’t live your life with this hanging over you.

I agree with this. You cannot give in to blackmail as it will never end.

If you give into her, she will never stop. I get the people saying tell DH first, but I probably wouldn't and just wait and see and deal with it if it happens.

But I like some people suggesting that you get evidence of her blackmailing you and point out to her that it is a crime, and if she proceeds you'll press charges against her.

What does she want you to do? If it's anything illegal / immoral then that might meet the threshold for a criminal offence. Have you got a recording or text etc of what she's demanding that you do. If not, then get one if possible.
This won't resolve the issue of the recording and your DH's response but she could be looking at a criminal record depending on what she's demanding you do.

As everyone's said, you do need to speak with your DH about this. But don't forget, she's openly blackmailing you so if you can get the evidence, that may go a long way to ensuring that she is seen as the problem and not whatever it was you said.

I would call her bluff. Tell her blackmail is a crime and you are going to the police.

Pre-empt every time. If you don't, your life will become hers to do what she likes with because this will not stop. If you can quickly get proof she is blackmailing you then do so but if you don't want to be her bitch for the rest of your life then pre-empt.

I think it really depends on what you said, I would just tell DH and explain the context if like you have said it isn't that bad with context.

Just tell your DH and explain the context. It's far easier to be upfront on honest on explaining something than trying to back peddle once he hears it out of context.

You need to talk to DH and start with explaining that your sister is blackmailing you with a recording which would upset him if he heard it without context, so in order to diffuse the blackmail you need to start with explaining the context, and what's most important is that there's honesty between the two of you (and also apologise to him if you shouldn't really have been saying what you did even with the context). Don't tell him exactly what's in the recording until you've properly discussed it in context, and then explain what the recording says and how it could be misinterpreted.

Then never have anything to do with your sister again. That's a truly evil thing for her to have done.

Do you know she actually had a recording? Have you heard it? Or is she possibly just saying she does.

I would get ahead and tell DH, then cut sister off. She sounds like a maniac

Call the police.

With AI nowadays anyone can make a fake recording. I imagine it would be relatively easy to manipulate a recording to make it sound like you’re saying something other to what you were intending to say. I’d say that to her and remove her power.

I disagree with saying it’s AI-generated. This won’t get you anywhere, it’ll just keep things buried for longer, and make you look (and feel) awful when the truth comes out.

Presumably you trusted your sister enough (at the time) to tell her this thing you’re keeping buried. Extend that trust to your DH. Difficult conversations can feel awful at the time - you can feel so vulnerable. But my experience is that you’ll come out stronger and ready to tackle future hurdles.

OP, genuinely not being nosey here but given its an anonymous forum, why don't you share what it is and we can help you work out/discuss what your DH's reaction might be, and how to deal with it.

In terms of your sister doing this to you, I'm so sorry you're going through that - what a thoroughly nasty piece of work.

I don’t know why you are referring to her as ‘D’ sis as she sounds like a piece of work. Talk to DH. It’s only going to eat at you otherwise. Personally I’d tell people what she’s done. If she’s recording you she’s likely doing it to others.

If you do what she wants this time she will keep blackmailing you in the future. I would tell my husband myself to remove the power she has. Blackmail is a criminal offence - maybe point this out to her?

Good idea - if you can get a written admission from her that will help back up your version of events to DH and the police, if you decide to take it that far.

@InsufficantLizard have you heard the recording that she is saying she has? is she bullshitting?

If it exists, then absolutely the best way of diffusing her is to tell DH the correct version and it will take all the wind out of her sails

And yes to getting evidence of her blackmail and tell her that you are going to the police. not even if she tells DH, report her anyway because it's against the law and you have had enough of her and her spite.

The relationship is broken anyway, she did that so fuck it, take control of this and blow her up

Are you sure this recording even exists? or might she be bluffing?

You act completely unbothered, say “oh DSIs I’ve been looking into this blackmail thing, and it’s just SO easy to fake recordings these days with AI, everyone is doing it just with a voice sample. You would look like such a prize idiot trying to frame me for saying something I never said!” And laugh.

Ask your sister what she is going to do via text.

Take that police and report her for blackmail.

This.

Or, just tell your sister you're going to do this. And therefore what she has is worthless.
Tell her you've been laying groundwork by telling DH about how your sister is using AI

I would tell your sister you are going to tell your husband and you are also going to go to the police to report the blackmail and see what she says. Best to tell your husband first.