DSis threatening to destroy my family with secret recording what do I do?

OP, what happened? Are you ok?

Unless you tell him you’ll forever worry about it

Tell your DH. Don’t ever let yourself be blackmailed. If he knows what she’s like he’ll be more inclined to be on your side. If she tells him first and you have to do a lot of explaining afterwards that will go much worse for you. It’s a horrible situation to be in, but I think damage control is absolutely the way to go. You can’t let someone this horrible hold this power over you. Depending on what was said, can you say that she tricked you into saying it? The fact that she has recorded it and is now attempting to blackmail you with it makes the notion of her tricking you into it very plausible. It sort of fits with her behaviour if you see what I mean.

Definitely. Especially as the OP is really not coming back. Either because the story is complete fiction or because there really is no context that puts her in a better light. It’s definitely fishy that she wouldn’t give us any details at all.

@2JFDIYOLO - @InsufficantLizard doesn't want to say exactly what her sister is demanding she does, but in her OP, she says, "She’s now threatening to send it to DH and possibly others unless I do what she wants (not going into details, but it’s completely unreasonable)."

Is she actually demanding something from you in return for silence, such as money?

Or just enjoying watching you squirm?

She has control over you right now - which may be her end goal.

Take control back.

Can you make it sound as though you don't take it seriously to your DH? Something along the lines of
"OMG you'll never guess what she's trying to do! She only recorded me saying .... and cut it to sound really bad. Now she's blackmailing me. Can you believe it"
Then he'll ask you what you said and you can tell him. Might take the sting out a bit.

I think this is a great way to handle her. Damage limitation and minimising it.

Making her an object of ridicule, rather pathetic.

'That's sis all over, being silly again! 🤷‍♀️ Do we think she's going a bit ... You know ...? Might she need some sort of help?'

It will reduce her power over you.

And show her the law regarding blackmail. She could do with a shock.

Clearly you talk to your DH and explain the circumstances in full and what your sister has done and is going to do.

I’d suggest doing this by email or message, as secretly recording calls could be entrapment or a breach of privacy.

But agree with the idea generally. Proof of the blackmail would be helpful evidence for a court (for civil legal action) or the police.

However, if you don’t want to seek a court order to prevent her sharing the information, a stern letter from a solicitor stating how she’s breaking the law, and the repercussions if she proceeds to share the information, may suffice.

This thread is weird.

I’d urgently seek legal advice. I believe this amounts to entrapment and blackmail. It may be possible to get an injunction or order to prevent her sharing with other people and requiring her to destroy it.

You’re entitled to privacy and you don’t have to divulge anything to your DH you don’t want to.

Can you make it sound as though you don't take it seriously to your DH? Something along the lines of
"OMG you'll never guess what she's trying to do! She only recorded me saying .... and cut it to sound really bad. Now she's blackmailing me. Can you believe it"
Then he'll ask you what you said and you can tell him. Might take the sting out a bit.

Get evidence of her blackmail. If it is all verbal, get that recorded, if written then keep it.

Then when have evidence, tell her you are going to the police due to blackmail.

Really????

this is pathetic. You would allow yourself to be bullied and blackmailed??

Terrible advice.... where does it end?

OP don't be blackmailed, explain everything to your husband, make sure you emphasise it was out of context. Boot this woman out of your life.

Just to add to the sea of voices: you have to tell your dh everything.

Do not try to appeal to your sister's better side: she doesn't have one. The phrase "never negotiate with terrorists" applies. If you give her what she wants, she will want more. And then she'll want more. And you'll be living your life as your sister's bitch, doing whatever she says and you'll be so much further down the rabbit hole of deceit that when she eventually tells your dh anyway, and she will, you will look even worse.

Tell him everything: what you said, the context, her recording you, and the blackmail. He may be hurt, but you can discuss it and work through it and he will hopefully support you.

Your relationship with your sister is over. Once your dh knows, I'd tell her plainly that blackmail is a criminal offence and you want no further contact from her. Then refuse to discuss it further. Zero contact.

OP, AI can create unbelievably realistic voice matched recording if you give it a sample.

I'd block her and go NC with her. Block her on everything, and block her on your husband's things if you can. And no I wouldn't tell him. I'd ride it out and hope she won't do it.

Are you really sure she has the recording, that it even exists, and she isn't just bluffing to get what she wants?

Tell him the truth, give him the context. Surely he'll believe you? Does he know that your sister is a bit odd?

If someone played me a recording of my partner saying something about me in an attempt to cause an issue between us (assuming it wasn't something horrendous like admitting they don't love me/love someone else/confessing an affair etc) I'd assume they were bonkers!

Pressed post by mistake...

I'd do it that way ^^ as my brother once said to me when we were children, "if something bad happens thinkg of how to turn it into a funny story" so that's what I'd do. It works really well in all circumstances I've encountered in 67 years. Admittedly, not your exact circumstances, but not so far off, either.

Does she record all your conversations, or just the ones where she's hoping to trip you up into saying something she can cut and paste and fuck you up with?

I'd ask her that, for a start, preferably with witnesses around. In a lighthearted manner as if you don't really acre but are curious. Then I would laughingly tell the story....

What will the Police do about it?

I'd speak to the police. It's blackmail.

If you do what she wants, she'll eventually send it anyway, as there will be something I the future you're not prepare to do.

Blackmail is a crime, so maybe you could use that angle.

Record her threats and then tell her you're going to the police.

I think you only have one choice. If you say nothing, it will be worse when it comes out. And if it doesn't, you will always be wondering if and when it will come out. And if it does it will be worse. I think hold your hands up to DH explain.