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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if it’s worth watching Adolescence ?

162 replies

CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 07:28

Everyone’s raving about it

I don’t even have a Netflix account atm

OP posts:
BeaAndBen · 27/03/2025 09:48

I found the 4th episode riveting. I was in bits, watching them questioning themselves and each other while trying to still love their son and keep him as part of them. And accepting what he had done - and the sheer horror of that.

It felt very real and raw. Flawed but normal people, an emotionally shut down father who desperately cares but doesn’t know how to do it, papering over the cracks… it was very powerful for me.

StarDolphins · 27/03/2025 09:48

I absolutely loved it and I’m glad it’s been done to raise awareness. Many people just don’t seem to get the point of it. It was full of misogyny and we should all be taking something from this if you have kids that are young.

CurlewKate · 27/03/2025 09:46

But to answer the original question -if you want to be informed about what is, and should be a significant national conversation, then yes, it is “worth watching”.

crumblingschools · 27/03/2025 09:44

Also many posters have said the behaviour of the students shown in the school was unrealistic. For many schools that is actually their reality or indeed tamer than what they see every day. Not all schools but many schools. Again this isn’t just down to dysfunctional families

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:38

@CalmingInfluence I'm sorry that happened to you.

It isn’t the case for these boys. I won't go into details about the parents, I know they are good people.

crumblingschools · 27/03/2025 09:35

@LadyTangerine you don’t think bullying and coercion doesn’t happen in respect of nude photos amongst teens?

I think the good thing about this programme is that it has got people talking. Posters can say that they knew about Andrew Tate, made sure parental controls on phones etc so don’t need to be told about these things.

But misogny is a huge issue in Secondary schools and horrifyingly becoming more prevalent in Primaries. We cannot ignore this. If so many parents are aware, talking to their DC, putting controls on phones etc, why is it such a huge issue and growing? These boys are not just ones being dragged up by dysfunctional families, the numbers are too great.

Abstracts · 27/03/2025 09:34

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Abstracts · 27/03/2025 09:32

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CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 09:30

Alcoholic *

OP posts:
CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 09:30

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:24

@CalmingInfluence I understand abuse happens in MC families, this wasn't the case, these parents were horrified, had strong connections to the community.

These were confident lads, top of the popular league at friendships, sports, academically, he did not want a nerd fancying him.

They lied for days, leaving her body to rot.
Boy A was highly intelligent, boy B admitted they planned the murder with their kill kit, including masks.

The abuse these lads received was online.

This is awful

My parents also had strong connections to the community … but I think they thought the had the profile of Charles and Di, or Posh and Becks iyswim … even though they were professionally successful- no one gave that much of a sh*T about them

looking back my parents were both immature and neglectful - mum was a violent, emotionally abusive alcohol

OP posts:
MoMhathair · 27/03/2025 09:29

I thought it was very badly written.

(Potential spoilers). In the opening episode the police entered the house and said the boy was accused of murder. The parents said 'he didn't do anything' (understandably) but they never once asked who had been murdered. That is such bad writing - if police came in and told you there'd been a murder in the local area (so close your child could be involved) one of the main things you'd want to know is who died. It could be someone you know well, or even a family member. No one ever once wondered or questioned who might be dead until it was revealed in the police interview. Such a glaring mistake.

In the second episode two police officers were standing very close to the scene of an assault and they did nothing. At the very least they would be key witnesses in a future investigation, but beyond that they are trained to step in and deal with situations like that - instead the teachers had to do it and they just stood around like it was none of their business.
Also, a real school would be closed if one of the pupils had been murdered - or at least they certainly would not be carrying on lessons as if nothing had happened. The children and teachers would be distraught. I had the misfortune of teaching in a school where a child died by natural causes and the next week or so was a complete write off - children were absent, teachers burst into tears at the meerest provocation, parents kept visiting because they felt so lost. The child's class just sat and talked for days. In a violent situation like this, there would be counsellors on site and a far greater number of police, partly because it wouldn't yet be clear that this was an isolated incident - other attacks could happen. Instead of speaking to classes individually, the police would bring everyone together in the hall and speak to everyone at once. Their aim would be to jog the memory of potential witnesses or anyone who could give them important information - literally anyone in the school could be a key part of the case. It was bizarre when the detective just walked off and had chips with his son - I know the point that they were trying to make but a detective would never do that at such a crucial point in a case. It was in no way finished.

A forensic psychologist (which I assume the person in the third episode was supposed to be) would never give a hot drink to anyone in a secure unit when there was high potential to piss them off. Asking for facial burns. A forensic psychologist would also have dealt with serious gangland thugs. A 13 year old screaming at her would have been upsetting but not scary.

I thought the final episode was interesting but maybe not entirely in the way it was intended. It seemed to imply that the family was happier without Jamie and that they'd distanced himself from him, that they mostly felt anger and disappointment rather than a sense of loss. That would be an interesting storyline to pursue - it was hinted at in previous episodes that Jamie felt rejected by his dad and it would be very interesting to see how the subtle rejections (and maybe the sense that they loved the daughter more) led to his anger and lashing out.

I don't know why people go about about the social media aspect of this story - it barely features. The emojis are mentioned but to my mind that's not much different than passing notes to bully someone - the method is different but the result is the same. From what the parents said Jamie was low-level neglected, made to feel not good enough by his family and then felt rejected by the girl. The manosphere may have played a part but that wasn't well articulated at all.

As others have pointed out, the girl is just a picture. Her friend was well portrayed - the sense of loss there was realistic - but apart from the stack of flowers at the crime scene there was very little sense of mourning a real person.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 27/03/2025 09:29

CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 07:28

Everyone’s raving about it

I don’t even have a Netflix account atm

I wouldn't bother subscribing to Netflix purely to watch just this. A pp gave a good summary...

@Abstracts · Today 07:31

If you enjoy slightly overblown stage-school type acting.

episode 1 absorbing
2 boring
3 mildly interesting but like watching GCSE drama students
4 dull as dishwasher

This. ^

I am amazed at the volume of praise and how obsessed some people seem to be, and how many are raving about how amazing it is.

The actual content is good/interesting yes, but it's pretty long winded and boring, with reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaalllly long drawn-out scenes. Like a few others here, I found the one-take, 'one-camera throughout' thing odd and distracting. Some decent acting though, and I do like Stephen Graham. Though I agree he is a little bit of a one trick pony.

If you're getting FOMO then just get Netflix for a month - there is loads more stuff to watch on there too. It won't be a waste of money. You can get the package with ads for £5.99. And there are hardly any ads.

Happyinarcon · 27/03/2025 09:27

In this day and age it’s hard to tell what’s genuine enthusiasm vs a fake social media campaign

wizzywig · 27/03/2025 09:26

Smallmercies · 27/03/2025 07:31

I enjoyed the first episode, but found the rest increasingly annoying. And I found most of the acting irritating (the boy was v good). Stephen Graham only seems to have one acting mode. Overall I was very disappointed. Lots of storylines were set up only to be instantly dropped, and the drama couldn't make its mind up whether the problem was the boy's misogyny or the girl's bullying or both.

Edited

I'm laughing over 'one mode graham' . Is that the permanently anguished look he has?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:24

@CalmingInfluence I understand abuse happens in MC families, this wasn't the case, these parents were horrified, had strong connections to the community.

These were confident lads, top of the popular league at friendships, sports, academically, he did not want a nerd fancying him.

They lied for days, leaving her body to rot.
Boy A was highly intelligent, boy B admitted they planned the murder with their kill kit, including masks.

The abuse these lads received was online.

Hdjdb42 · 27/03/2025 09:18

PsychoHotSauce · 27/03/2025 07:46

No she wasn't. That was a huge leap Ashley Walters' character jumped to.

She was coerced (by the boys) into sending topless pics - misogyny. Of course she'd be labelled uptight or frigid if she didn't - misogyny. One of the boys shared the pics (misogyny). She was then ostracised by both boys and girls for being a 'slut' - misogyny. Then Jamie targeted her as she was at a low point and figured she'd now give him a chance because she was weak and vulnerable - misogyny. She stood up for herself - online and then in person. How dare she? - misogyny. Jamie killed her because of his rage at her perceived 'disrespect'. In his mind she was damaged goods now, she should be grateful for any male attention - misogyny.

PP is right - too many viewers have missed the point.

Exactly right 👆 The girl wasn't bullying him, she was sticking up for herself. Even if she did hurt his feelings, it's a massive over reaction to stab her to death.

doodahdayy · 27/03/2025 09:16

It’s good but I’m sick of hearing about it.

CalmingInfluence · 27/03/2025 09:15

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:11

I disagree with blaming the parents, none are perfect, I also think that it can happen to anyone.

A similar real life murder happened in Dublin in 2020. Two 14 y.o boys from MC families, well educated, Boy A and boy B.

A beautiful girl Ana, who had a crush on a popular boy A, he wasn't happy about it, Boy A and Boy B lead Ana to a disused property, Boy A killed her, boy B was a lookout.

The disturbing porn found on their devices, snuff videos too, these lads were radicalised with a hate for girls at 14.

I grew up in a middle class, well educated family that was also as dysfunctional and abusive as f**k

OP posts:
AncientBallerina · 27/03/2025 09:14

I think there was a huge amount of noise but that it didn’t really get into the nitty gritty of what these young people are actually seeing online. Like there was too much focus on one thing - the emojis - but not enough on the influence of Andrew Tate et al - it was more implied in the scene with the psychologist. The last episode was torturously boring - and the only interesting thing - his decision about his plea was glossed over. It would have been much more interesting to see the process by which he came to that decision rather than spend an hour wishing they ‘d all blow their noses!

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/03/2025 09:11

I disagree with blaming the parents, none are perfect, I also think that it can happen to anyone.

A similar real life murder happened in Dublin in 2020. Two 14 y.o boys from MC families, well educated, Boy A and boy B.

A beautiful girl Ana, who had a crush on a popular boy A, he wasn't happy about it, Boy A and Boy B lead Ana to a disused property, Boy A killed her, boy B was a lookout.

The disturbing porn found on their devices, snuff videos too, these lads were radicalised with a hate for girls at 14.

Coffeeishot · 27/03/2025 09:02

Togglebullets · 27/03/2025 08:59

My 14yo daughter wanted to watch it with me. She enjoyed it. I think the topic is an important one and it has sparked some important conversations so I wanted to watch the whole thing from that point of view.

Ah ok that's fair, just if I wasn't enjoying something I'd not bother with further episodes.

Togglebullets · 27/03/2025 08:59

Coffeeishot · 27/03/2025 08:49

If people found it dull as dishwasher why did you finish watching it ?

My 14yo daughter wanted to watch it with me. She enjoyed it. I think the topic is an important one and it has sparked some important conversations so I wanted to watch the whole thing from that point of view.

Myengagementring · 27/03/2025 08:55

I have watched 3 episodes and am really enjoying it. In my opinion it is filmed very well, I like the one shot take on it. The main actor is amazing and it was his first acting job! The message it is portraying in my opinion isn't just about misogyny or bullying but about social media and how it influences young minds and also for adults being aware of what children are doing on their phones. It has sparked up conversations with my mum friends and it was startling that some have no idea what their kids are doing or accessing on their phones, our children are 12 going on 13 later in the year. It's also hit quite hard in my area as we are not too far from Sheffield where the filmed the school scenes and coincidentally a young boy was stabbed to death at school and locally it has been said the victim was actually bullying the accused although nothing has been proven and there is no excuse what so ever, but its hit harder because that's so fresh. Is it good....yes. Would I join Netflix just to watch it...no

SantaToSSD · 27/03/2025 08:51

Definitely not in itself worth getting Netflix for. I found it rather boring and couldn't quite see what the hype was all about. I found the filming each episode in one continuous shot a bit irritating too. It means there are long pointless bits, eg characters sitting in a car saying nothing, doing nothing. It made the whole thing seem less sharp and concentrated for my liking.

Hazeby · 27/03/2025 08:50

Twinstudy · 27/03/2025 07:49

Oh well she was asking for it then 🙄

That’s what I said is it?

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