Massive overreaction to a TV show

What’s doubtful? That effective, proactive parenting can prevent many cases of antisocial behaviour and youth crime? I’m afraid I disagree.

Social media certainly makes the task harder these days, but there’s still no excuse to just throw in the towel and not even bother trying.

To get specific, these parents should have:

• had strict parental controls on all devices
• had password access to all phones, socials etc and checked regularly
• no phones overnight / WiFi access after 9PM
• devices removed for any infringements.
• kept a closer track of their son’s movements and activities, who he was hanging out with, given him a curfew.
• ensured that he spent at least some of his time when not at school doing more enriching activities than just hanging around and going on his phone - hobbies, clubs, sports whatever.
• Talked to their son about the dangers of social media, been more present
• sent him to a different school in the hope of a better peer group. A plumber in the north could have afforded to move to a different catchment area

But they did nothing. They buried their heads in the sand.

I believe the take-home message from adolescence is that some parents need to wake up to their responsibilities before it’s too late.

I have similar views @Kilroyonly.

While the one-shot technique was impressive and performances generally excellent, I found the premise confused.

If it’s to encourage debate about teenage knife murders/attacks, and the impact on families, that’s a different show. The drivers are various. But young men spending time online in their comfortable bedroom in a comfortable home within a stable family isn’t a major factor. And murders of teenage girls are extremely rare. The victims are far more likely to be boys and young men.

The premise of “sons in close and loving families just like ours could become vicious murderers if we don’t check what they’re doing online” just isn’t true.

If it’s to encourage debate about young men being sexist and misogynistic, that would’ve been better explored without the backdrop of a knife murder. And, while we obvs continue to live in a patriarchy, sexism is an issue for both young men and young women, e.g, the “I’m looking for a guy in finance, 6’5”” craze and the sexualisation/emphasis on looks of young women. IMHO Tate’s role as a Bogeyman corrupting the minds of teenage boys is overstated. Most kids pay more attention to the Sidemen.

And challenges for young people aren’t new and were happening long before the internet and continue to happen outside of it. You only have to watch a 70s or 80s series of Grange Hill to realise that. Granted, the internet and smartphones mean kids aren’t necessarily safe from bullying, grooming or damaging ideology (whatever that is, including eating disorders, trad wives etc) even when at home. But, as always, kids who’ve got a supportive family (and teachers) who debate these things, and teach them how to be sensible as they become independent, tend to be able to navigate it.

You think that "relevance" is the only reason to have a strong reaction to something? You don't think that someone might have an enthusiastic reaction due to the execution of a story, or the artistry, or the novelty?

You sure?

History shows its doubtful, many could of made a difference years before social media yet here we are.

Not any family. As I say in my post above, the parents were naive and neglectful. They’d sent their son off to a horrifically dysfunctional school and proceeded to leave him to his own devices without giving any shits. The whole thing was completely in their power to prevent, as they realise (too late) in the end.

Hopefully a lesson to any other parents out there who can’t be arsed to do any actual parenting.

A teacher not knowing who Andrew Tate is quite concerning.

I hope to God the teacher on this thread isn’t at my school, I’d be worried about pupil safeguarding,

Actually I don’t think they are, the teachers at my dds school are all pretty clued up about Andrew Tate, Incel culture etc, they’ve already completely banned smartphones (locked in form room safes all day)

the only thing I found a bit odd about adolescence and my 25 year old ds also pointed this out is that the programme didn’t go into the role that smartphones play.. it seemed to lay the blame on computers being in bedrooms etc.. but then again maybe that was done deliberately to highlight the parents naivety.smart Phones are such a normal yet insidious part of our everyday life that parents don’t see the danger or rather they do but it’s so hard to not have them. They’re used for everything

It goes beyond that though, I think the parents come to realise they have been extremely neglectful in allowing their son to get up to what he did online without their knowledge. They share a degree of responsibility.

Thankfully not all parents demonstrate such poor judgement, hopefully the programme will give lazier parents some pause for thought.

I was also shocked by the general behaviour of most of the children, and found the episode in the school very hard to watch as they were so awful. I find it hard to believe that any school could really be as bad as that.

It’s telling that we need a whole show, Adolescence, to warn about the dangers of social media, but let’s not pretend previous generations had it all figured out.

The 'good old days' were filled with their own failures rigid stereotypes, systemic inequalities, and a culture that often punished those who didn’t conform.

They may not have had TikTok, but they had plenty of ways to reinforce bad behavior. The difference? Back then, it was dinner table conversations and rigid social norms.

Now, it’s algorithms and viral trends. The problem isn’t just new technology it’s that every generation struggles to raise better people, and history keeps proving how difficult that really is

F*ING hell, you must be so proud of him! His acting was award winning

It is relevant to anyone with daughters too....
Don't forget a part of the topic was how a teen girl had sent a topless photo to a boy and lost control of that image.
Boys and girls live in society together

Law & Order isn’t relevant to my life but I love it!

Do you struggle with understanding that different things resonate with different people, or that a topic may be relevant to you in the future even if it’s not right now?

Why do you feel it isn’t relevant? This could be any family.

100% agree
it was very contrived
full of false stereotypes

a lot of the hype is an aggressive PR campaign in press

this movie is not about “youth knife crime”. The UK stabbing problems are not this

I thought it was great. I welled up at the scene where his Mum and Dad were laughing about the embarrassing falling over thing when they were teenagers because it made me feel sad for our kids. We did dumb shit and it just got forgotten about. Now it's everywhere. I'd hate to be a teenager today.

I remember when Ask.fm came out when my eldest was a teen and that stressed the crap out of me. It was just so vile. And 10 years later, it's about 10000 times worse than that for them.

I watched it and then made my DS16 watch it. My first impressions were of the horrific nature of the arrest, of a 14 yr old. I wasn't prepared what was to come. We then we saw the video footage.
Talking to my DS afterwards. He said 'don't worry Mum, I'd never ever kill anyone'. I told him that wasn't the message really. It was about the stupid messages between him and his mates, mostly all bravado but which would most likely be taken literally if anything bad happened.
It's a horrible world we live in. I think if anything, it was a wake up call to 'internet chat' - putting it all out there leaves you open.

They make these shows because of people like you....nothing to do with me?!? Until it does! It's a societal issue.

So what? Surely a television programme doesn't have to strike chords with your life to be found interesting and enjoyable. I'm 75 so it didn't resonate with me but I thought it was great, I felt for all involved, I found the procedures very interesting. I've recently watched 'Mr Loverman' twice. I'm not a 74 year old closet gay West Indian man but I felt every bit of every episode. That is the point of good drama, it engages.

Well Jamie's parents would have said it had no relevance to THEIR lives until he killed Katie.

Now obviously I am NOT suggesting anything there, I'm just saying that some of the people who say it isn't relevant to their lives are right (fantastic) and some of them are naive. Hopefully it will never be relelvsn9to you, your kids, your grandkids, your friends kids, etc. But that doesn't mean it isn't a huge issue.

I watched it for two reasons. Firstly, the young lad who played the main boy is the youngest son of my DH’s cousin, so wanted to celebrate family doing something to be proud of.

Secondly, I think it’s such an important topic that we have to become more informed about as a society in order that we can act and intervene quickly should we begin to see signs of such troubling behaviours in our own young family members.

I don’t have any children myself but do have 1 niece and nephew on my DH’s side and 1 niece and 3 nephews on my side, the elder two in their teens I’m especially close to. The 16 y/o has over the past year or so made the occasional worrying sexist/misogynistic comments about women. Obviously this is such a crucial age, one where he is so impressionable and has so many sources of information (both positive and negative) so easily accessible.

My DBro and SIL, my parents and my DH and I whenever we’ve heard such comments have been quick to pull him up on what he’s said and tried to explain and educate him, as we don’t want those views to become deep rooted.

Whilst I wasn’t totally blown away by the series (wasn’t a fan of the filming style) I think anything that stimulates a conversation about this stuff is surely only a good thing?

Bizarre to not enjoy a show because it’s not relevant to your life.

If your children don’t use smartphones and are homeschooled then it may not be relevant to them but if they are at school then they will have classmates who have completely free access to the internet and watching the darkest material out there.

I think it’s more aimed at parents and adults who don’t grow up with social media and the internet. Those of us with internet in the 90s had a very different experience to the youngsters today than go are fed nastier and nastier stuff thanks to algorithms and almost instant ability to share stuff without parents knowing.

I’m gobsmacked at the teacher not knowing who Andrew Tate is 👀 My ds left secondary last year and influencers like AT were covered in PSHE a few years ago at his school and still part of the syllabus today. I saw something online about boys in year 6 being aware of him these days which is depressing.

Thought this was going to be about the shock pregnancy announcement in Peppa Pig. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be just the eleventy billionth Adolescence thread in two days

See, this is why I think the problem has got so bad. It's not necessarily teacher' fault if they are in the dark about this stuff, but it's very concerning if they are. The last government neglected to legislate decent sex and relationship education and school heads have neglected to address issues like Andrew Tate, incels and the manosphere.

Some schools have. My dds' school had Laura Bates address them. There's been plenty of research. There's been knowledge of what's going on by those who inform policy. But too little had been done. No teacher should not know who Andrew Tate is.

The coverage tends to get amplified in the media which leads to media-driven moral panics. I think that explains a lot of what's being reported...

I'm well past that stage with my kids but I really enjoyed watching it. Thought the ending was a bit meh, would have preferred an explanation from the kid (won't say more than that to avoid spoilers).