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Original poster

Would this comment offend you - DH about gym

81 replies

CazJK · 26/03/2025 18:32

My DH is off work this week, so has been going to the gym in the morning rather than after work in the evening.

I asked him when he got back earlier if he is enjoying going at the start of the day when he has more energy, and he basically said - ‘all the MILF’s are there in their tight leggings after the school run which is the main benefit’.

I didn’t laugh - infact I found it really quite rude towards myself. Have I had a sense of humour failure or would this annoy you too?

OP posts:
SquashedMallow · 26/03/2025 22:25

CazJK · 26/03/2025 18:32

My DH is off work this week, so has been going to the gym in the morning rather than after work in the evening.

I asked him when he got back earlier if he is enjoying going at the start of the day when he has more energy, and he basically said - ‘all the MILF’s are there in their tight leggings after the school run which is the main benefit’.

I didn’t laugh - infact I found it really quite rude towards myself. Have I had a sense of humour failure or would this annoy you too?

I've got to be honest, I'd be more honoured by the level of candour and find it amusing. I'd probably punch his arm and tell him he's a slag !

If he was up to no good, I think he'd be way more shady about saying things like that

rainbowsparkle28 · 26/03/2025 22:23

Firstly the disrespect towards you in saying how fit they all are is not okay but also his attitude and the lack of respect is disgusting talking about women like an object for his pleasure and indicative of something I would not like in a partner. I would be more than having a sense of humour failure if it were me…

zoemum2006 · 26/03/2025 22:07

So grim :-(

That comments wouldn't make me angry but it would make me feel sad. I think I'd lose a bit of respect for him.

Chuchoter · 26/03/2025 21:56

'it’s not as if I told you I wanted to shag one of them’

You never mentioned that. He did.

Oh dear! He's like someone who murdered someone and is being interviewed by the media and with each passing comment, digs a deeper hole for himself.

JHound · 26/03/2025 21:52

I would not laugh either. It’s a disrespectful thing to say to your spouse.

SpidersAreShitheads · 26/03/2025 21:41

OP, how would your DH react if you told him you like going to the gym during the daytime as the hot male personal trainers are there and you like watching them do their stretches in their tight shorts?

Would he find that funny? Would he be bothered by it? Would he be totally OK with you checking them out because after all, it's not as if you're actually shagging any of them, is it?

If he would be totally unfazed by you telling him how you enjoy leering at other men while working out, then at least there's some consistency in his logic....

If he wouldn't like it, then that tells you all you need to know.

Marmalade71 · 26/03/2025 21:39

CazJK · 26/03/2025 20:59

Appreciate the majority of replies backing up that I’m not over reacting.

DH has some form for this as I’ve said above - I’ve spoken to him again after dinner tonight and he basically laughed and said ‘it’s not as if I told you I wanted to shag one of them’

😷😷

So he’s calling you thick too.
I mean given what Milf stands for, this is literally what he said

unclejoesmintballz · 26/03/2025 21:38

CazJK · 26/03/2025 18:35

He has form for some crude comments but knows I don’t approve.

He just said he was joking and I’ve ‘nothing to worry about’ (nice!)

Show quote history

Pretty sure you don't.
They probably wouldn't touch him with a barge pole. 🤨

RachelNoire · 26/03/2025 21:17

CazJK · 26/03/2025 18:35

He has form for some crude comments but knows I don’t approve.

He just said he was joking and I’ve ‘nothing to worry about’ (nice!)

Show quote history

You should’ve said when he says there’s nothing to worry about that damn disappointing as you were hoping one of the MILFs would take the sleazy pig off your hands then laughed like a drain the faux sympathetically patted his head and said there there if he keeps working out and focussing on his personality too he may get noticed by them one day soon. But not to leave it too long as he’s not getting any younger etc etc

CarpetSlipper · 26/03/2025 21:14

My ex used to make creepy “jokes” like this all the time. One of the reasons he’s an ex.

Disturbia81 · 26/03/2025 21:11

Grim to you, I wouldn’t think of him the same. and grim for female gym goers.. we just wanna workout in peace and not look at anyone, but most of the men are leering.

Hayley1256 · 26/03/2025 21:08

Does he know what MILF means as that's exactly what's he's told you!

GreyCarpet · 26/03/2025 21:06

AlertCat · 26/03/2025 21:02

Does he not know what MILF stands for??

Show quote history

Was going to say that exact thing.

That's exactly what he said..

Picklepower · 26/03/2025 21:05

I mean, if my DH said it it would be a joke and it would be fine, but I don't know your DH so you can only judge that. I've made a joke to DH recently about averting my eyes from all the booty shorts glutes girls that appeared in the gym in January.

AlertCat · 26/03/2025 21:02

CazJK · 26/03/2025 20:59

Appreciate the majority of replies backing up that I’m not over reacting.

DH has some form for this as I’ve said above - I’ve spoken to him again after dinner tonight and he basically laughed and said ‘it’s not as if I told you I wanted to shag one of them’

😷😷

Does he not know what MILF stands for??

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 26/03/2025 21:01

He doesn't want to shag them? Does he know what MILF stands for?

He's a creepy lech.

silverandsparklez · 26/03/2025 21:00

ItGhoul · 26/03/2025 19:50

That wouldn’t bother me - but it totally depends on the tone in which it was said, and the dynamic of your relationship and the humour between the two of you. I went to a non-league football match last week and had to go into the team clubhouse to use the loo after the final whistle. DP said ‘It’s down the corridor just past the changing rooms’ and I said ‘Ooh, I hope I catch a glimpse of them all stripping off for their showers, then’. But we have the sort of relationship where we joke about that sort of thing and it’s really clear between us that we’re only kidding; it’s not a case of exploiting each others insecurities or winding each other up and it’s fine.

BUT in your case, your DP knows you don’t like this sort of comment and was presumably deliberately goading you by saying it, or trying to make you feel insecure. It doesn’t sound like mutual banter, and therefore YANBU to be pissed off.

This!
I would joke, and say they won’t be looking at you!!

Original poster
CazJK · 26/03/2025 20:59

Appreciate the majority of replies backing up that I’m not over reacting.

DH has some form for this as I’ve said above - I’ve spoken to him again after dinner tonight and he basically laughed and said ‘it’s not as if I told you I wanted to shag one of them’

😷😷

OP posts:
Chuchoter · 26/03/2025 20:43

Locker room talk with his wife indicates he sees you more as a mate than his wife.

If it was you going down the gym that coincided with a bunch of attractive men working out you might say something to your female friends but you wouldn't dream of saying it to your husband to belittle him.

Well that's what he's done to you. He saying the school mums are desirable.

petiteoeuf · 26/03/2025 20:27

Ew. He’s the reason lots of women don’t feel comfortable going to the gym.

Grapewrath · 26/03/2025 20:10

I’m not jealous at all, so him finding other women attractive wouldn’t be the issue. The issue for me would him using terms like milf and perving at women who stretti g to exercise. That would be a massive ick

Staceysmum2025 · 26/03/2025 20:05

How did you end up with him?

Panterusblackish · 26/03/2025 20:03

arethereanyleftatall · 26/03/2025 19:35

deal breaker for me.

im very lucky though that I am able to set my bar to a decent level as I’m happy single though and no kids together or finances to think about. I accept it’s not the same for others.

it’s a deal breaker because if he says that, then he for sure is absolutely looking, and as I work in a gym, I find it absolutely disgusting when men are letching over women in tight clothes. It’s really grim.

Yep, I used to work with a man who did spinning classes because he specifically wanted to sit behind a woman whilst she's was peddling to watch her arse move.

Plenty of grim men who only see women as objects to fuck. Looks like the OPs husband is one of them

Isthiswhatmenthink · 26/03/2025 19:57

Your husband is repulsive.

DesperateDenise · 26/03/2025 19:57

That's not a joke: that's him telling you he spends his time perving on women.
I wonder what he is like with the women he works with?
I think he's very disrespectful of you.