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Original poster

17 month old started being weird with her dad ?

39 replies

Ellamaee · 26/03/2025 15:52

Hi , posting here hoping for some advice and if this is normal .
my daughter is 17 months , me and my ex co parent 50/50 and usually she would go to him easily no problem when he picked her up but the last 2 times he’s picked her up she is hysterically crying , reaching out for me not wanting to go to him . I will add also she’s only recently started being extremely clingy to me , I live with my mum and she used to go to my mum now if I’m in the room she only wants me , won’t go to my mum now either unless I leave the room (after she screams for me) is this normal behaviour? I don’t want to think her dad is mistreating her but I don’t think he would and there’s no signs of anything physical . But I am wondering why she’s very very clingy to me
hoping this make sense and a mama can help me out ! Breaking my heart when she leaves

OP posts:
Antonania · 26/03/2025 16:17

Yes very normal. My husband had a lot of this but later he ended up default parent for bedtimes for years. Your husband just needs to keep heart and try not to take it personally - it will pass. We were quite strict with continuing taking turns rather than letting DC "win" and get me all the time. In hindsight I haven't the faintest idea if that helped or hindered.

Devilsmommy · 26/03/2025 16:17

Around 18 months they go through a separation anxiety phase again so hopefully it's just that and it won't last too long🤞

DaisyChain505 · 26/03/2025 16:16

HeyThereDelila · 26/03/2025 16:12

I’d be wary.

My DS never exhibited this allegedly common clinginess, nor did he ever show massive preference one way or the other.

Listen to your child - this is worrying. Who else has access to her when she’s with her DF? Where does he take her?

I’d be informing a social worker now and making a list of upset incidents, and looking at asking for supervised contact only for now. See a solicitor.

What an absolute stretch. Should the OP also be keeping tabs on her mum and possibly reporting her to SS seeing as the child’s behaviour has changed towards her too?

Children go through phases of being clingy or closer to one parents and in the blink of an eye it can go the other way.

Imisscoffee2021 · 26/03/2025 16:13

My son went through this about same age, his dad WFH and he was fine til "hand over" when he would come out of the home office and take over giving him dinner etc. He would hysterically cry and want me, despite me being with him all day and having seem his dad loads during the day too, or was the moment of handover that he found hard then he was fine. Id imagine a handover from house to house is bigger so it makes sense she's upset at that age, it's normal to be super clingy.

HeyThereDelila · 26/03/2025 16:12

I’d be wary.

My DS never exhibited this allegedly common clinginess, nor did he ever show massive preference one way or the other.

Listen to your child - this is worrying. Who else has access to her when she’s with her DF? Where does he take her?

I’d be informing a social worker now and making a list of upset incidents, and looking at asking for supervised contact only for now. See a solicitor.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 26/03/2025 16:09

GeorgeTheFirst · 26/03/2025 16:06

It's totally normal for them to prefer one parent when there is a choice. When you aren't there she will be fine with him

Yes, my son prefers me until I'm out of sight.

I went away for four days and he didn't give a fig.

One "magic trick" at the moment for separation anxiety is being in the outdoors. As soon as we go outside, my son is so preoccupied that he doesn't care about either of us! Our baby friends all fine the same, clingy nightmares become suddenly adventurous

Could you do handover in a playpark or the garden and see if that makes a difference?

InveterateWineDrinker · 26/03/2025 16:08

Both our DCs went through a stage at about this age where they much preferred the same sex parent. I seem to recall reading then that it's quite normal.

Tagyoureit · 26/03/2025 16:08

This was normal for my 2, draining, but normal. Then my DD went through a daddy phase and I couldn't get a look in when he was about. 🤷‍♀️

paintedpotoflove · 26/03/2025 16:07

Sounds like a normal 17 month old.

just pass her over to her dad and make drop offs Swift to minimise the tantrums.

GeorgeTheFirst · 26/03/2025 16:06

It's totally normal for them to prefer one parent when there is a choice. When you aren't there she will be fine with him

Letmecallyouback · 26/03/2025 16:04

Wait for it....

Original poster
Ellamaee · 26/03/2025 16:00

Spondoolies · 26/03/2025 15:58

It is possible there is an issue but it is very normal behaviour for that age, a lot of kids go through these clingy phases or preferring one parent over the other.

It’s one thing I never got told at this stage ! Thank you

OP posts:
JLou08 · 26/03/2025 15:59

Most children will go through a phase of getting clingy and only wanting the main parent. If there's no other signs and you know her dad well enough to feel confident he cares for her well I wouldn't worry.

Spondoolies · 26/03/2025 15:58

It is possible there is an issue but it is very normal behaviour for that age, a lot of kids go through these clingy phases or preferring one parent over the other.

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