Mothers Day matters most with young children

Being a mother isn’t as challenging and all-consuming of a task as your children age

You're hilarious OP. Absolutely fucking hilarious.

Children at different ages and needs have their own challenges.

For me the younger years have been a walk in the park compared to them getting older.

Mothers day doesnt mean anything to me ( I think the love and respect should be a an everyday thing, not just for one day of the year) but its still a novelty for the kids so I leave them to get on with it.

I can’t help but wonder if the OP’s children couldn’t care less and so she’s justifying their lack of care to herself.

I agree!

Now mine are 16 and 11 it doesn’t seem a big deal. I can have a lie in any time I want, do things I enjoy fairly frequently. I’m a single parent now and can buy myself daffodils and chocolates, and I have a teasmade to make me tea in bed.

Not to say the kids won’t do those things for me but it wouldn’t be earth shattering if they didn’t.

When they were really little I found it really upsetting when Exh (who was then H) didn’t give me a lie in just that once (he was a shit for this despite claiming he was the early bird in the relationship), didn’t organise to get me something, do anything nice etc

That was when it mattered. I’ll probably have a lovely Mother’s Day this year (we often do something with my Mum or with a friend) but it wouldn’t matter if nothing happened. In fact we’re getting up early to fit in a day out but I COULD have just said “I’m having a lie in” instead, and it wouldn’t have been a problem.

Little children give you positive feedback every day, with love and cuddles etc.
Teenagers are hard work, emotionally, and that's the age when they're trying to separate by being a tad obnoxious. So a loving gesture from a teen on Mother's Day, means very much more, imo.

I disagree. It's great & meaningful when they're adults as they can buy you alcohol 🤣

I hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day🥰

I also saw it less a day about acknowledgement and more a day where you try to get together. So I actually thought it was more about mums of adult children. But I guess everyone see it differently.

It’s a bit anniversary/Valentine’s Day for me. It’s nice to mark the day but I like to show my appreciation all year round.

People lose their shit about it on Mumsnet, like Christmas, it’s seems to be an occasion where people go a bit nuts and get consumed by drama.

My older teen dc is taking me for bottomless brunch. It was her idea and represents shift in our relationship. You are still a mom and they still need you just in different ways. I’m also going out with my mum on Saturday and looking forward to it.

Yes, me too. They make me feel that I really matter to them .

I disagree.

Might be because I’m a single mum but I appreciate the cups of coffee and what not that my kids make on the day.

When you have young children or special needs children regardless of age and it takes all of your attention and energy, that day of acknowledgement means so much.

So you think mums of teens or adults don’t deserve any acknowledgement or thanks for what they do for their children?

Personally I don't think mother's day is important it's just another day I don't mind if l children acknowledge it or not. I know they care about me and they show it in different ways throughout the year.
But I don't agree that the early years are the most difficult. The challenges change as your children get older but they are just as difficult

I disagree. I think it's good for teens/adult children to acknowledge their mums. It's only one day for god's sake. How can anyone not find the time or energy to at least buy a card for the person that gave birth to them?

I’m a new mother and this will be my first Mother’s Day and I feel more than ever that I want to celebrate my own mother… having now experienced what she went through, for teaching me to be a mother, for being an amazing grandma. It’s for all mothers as far as I’m concerned!

I’ve done cards for my daughter’s godmothers and aunts who have helped me and her so much this year too. Thank goodness for wonderful women - I’ll take any opportunity to celebrate them!

I disagree. Parenting a young child is full on but they tell me they love me daily, they want cuddles daily. I know I’m important to them, even when I don’t feel like I’m being the best mother or on top of everything, I know my child loves me and I’m the centre of their world. I will get gifts organised by DH and crafts organised by nursery but outside of that I also get stickers for “cooking a yummy tea” on a random Monday or I get a cuddle because soft play was “the best adventure”.

As an adult, I still need my mum a lot. Not for helping me get dressed or washing my clothes obviously but she’s a sounding board for my life decisions (along with DH). She provides support for DC. Since having my own child, I’ve appreciated my own mum more and want to do more for her on Mother’s Day. I’ve organised flowers, which feels a bit lacking compared to the gratefulness I feel for my mum but she likes flowers and I’ve picked flowers and colours I know she likes (despite DC insisting she would like black flowers). I don’t live near my mum so can’t spend time with her on Mother’s Day but I’ll still give her a call and hopefully she knows she’s appreciated all year round.

I wouldn't agree. I feel like young children acknowledge you as a mum on a daily basis - the cuddles the spontaneous pictures and telling you they love you. I was always happy for a token on mother's day as I felt appreciated and loved as a mother most days.
Now mine are teens and young adults I've realised I feel I want an acknowledgement more. Nothing major, I don't want to be spoiled or showered with gifts but I'd like to do something with them - spend time with them.

I feel the opposite - as my kids get older and more able to choose a gift / decide what they put in a card, it is much more meaningful to me than when they were little.

We didn't celebrate it until they were old enough to choose something

It’s none of those things to me. For me it’s mainly for teaching dc about being caring and considerate etc and to remind them about the special bond that they have with you as their mother. But yes it’s mainly for when kids are small. It’s obviously an opportunity for adults to celebrate mothers too but that depends on the relationship. It’s difficult for me because I have a complicated relationship with my own family and I had pnd and the few mothers days were awful until I started to recover. I usually get a dip in my mood around this time every year.

But I am totally fine with low key/simple

Oh I disagree too, it means more to me with adult and teenage DC as it comes from them rather than DH

So now my kids are teens I like them to do something off their own backs for mother's day and my birthday. I like to know that I've raised to be caring enough to think about others if that makes sense? The same goes for their dad on father's day/his birthday and each others birthdays.

I don't require massive fusses to be made though, I'm a low key kind of person and so long as I can see that thought and love has gone into whatever it is I'm a happy woman.

I disagree. My children are late teens and now any cards presents are bought and chosen by them. Also they might take me out for lunch and I get to chat and socialise with them, which I love. I must add I have an incurable illness which will likely mean I may not have many mothers days left, so it means even more to me. Life gets very busy but it’s about making time for each other .

My mum dislikes the concept as too commercial, so I send her a random gift at a random time of year instead. Maybe you could suggest your DD does that.