GF wanted to meet my kids. I said 'no'

Sounds like she is testing you to see if you are willing to break boundaries with your ex for her sake! Good on you for not doing so. This new GF is being V unreasonable and has no place in yours and your children's lives.

I would be glad to see this side now rather than later.

Normal for her to be interested in meeting your kids. Not normal to split over you respecting previous agreement with coparent.

Huge red flag if she uses breaking up to control you.

You've dodged a bullet here. You are well rid!

Why, what was her motive, did she want to move in too quickly to save money on housing, very bad for the DC involved.

If she is so keen on a blended family, then she needs to realise that parent's decisions need to be respected. You dodged a bullet, but next time stand firm on the boundaries that you and your ex have agreed for your children.

I’ll give the other perspective here that may help you understand, though I don’t know if there are parallels with my own experience. I tried dating a single dad, who had main custody of his one son. I never put any pressure on him to meet his son, but it was very difficult to date someone who was constantly changing plans and cancelling, and never around at weekends, because of his son. I very much took second place. While it’s essential that your kids come first, if she’s introduced her child to you her expectations of how to combine single parenting and dating are clearly different to yours. And depending on how you manage to juggle dating and childcare, she may be tired of having to flex to your availability rather than meet halfway. I’m only speculating of course, but I certainly found dating a single parent challenging as I’d never done it before and it was very difficult to get excited about being with someone who (very) often cancelled, and spent so much of his time talking about his son and his ex wife. You wouldn’t want to date me! But it’s made me very cautious about single parents, especially people not long separated, it is a lot to take on and it may be she has taken on more of your baggage than you have of hers.

A complete blessing to you and your children that she showed you who she is.

You’ve not been unreasonable at all - so many people introduce partners to their children way too soon and it sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet by her reaction.

Bin the abusive cunt.

She's proven why the rule is a good idea.

You've done the right thing. We're you clear from the beginning and all along about your 12 month boundary though?

My only thing is if you've given the impression that you'll speak to your ex and are in favour of moving the date forward, it's not your rule it's your ex's... then you've got her hopes up around introducing her daughter.

Seems a bit of a people pleasing move potentially when you could have been clear and let her make a decision re her child accordingly.

Not saying it was ok to get aggressive but I can understand her feeling a bit messed about.

Be clear and firm next time. Also own the decision as joint, not just your ex's.

I’m with you and ExW.
Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet.

DH and I had been dating 6 months. My ExH asked if he could meet him before the kids - which I thought was perfectly reasonable. He has every right to know who is around his DCs. He gave me the same courtesy before he introduced his gf to the DCs.
And when I say “introduced”, the first time my DCs met DH, it was maybe 15 mins. I’d made a cake for one of his colleagues’ birthday and he was coming to collect it. I introduced him to the DC’s as a friend of mine who I enjoy spending time with. And it was a slow burn from there. I followed the DC’s lead a lot at first. Then one weekend they were with me I’d planned a day at a petting farm and they asked if DH could come too. Introducing new partners is such a big deal for DC’s, it’s not something that should ever be rushed.

I made it this far: "Having difficulty processing if I am in the wrong here. 7 months into a very nice relationship, girlfriend turns nasty and breaks things off because I would not introduce her to my kids."

You've dodged a walking red flag OP

I know it hurts but honestly you're well rid of bad rubbish. I wonder how many men her child has met since she spilt with her father?

I think you are well within your rights especially when co parenting I believe that any agreements between the two parents should be respected I wouldn’t want any new partner meeting my children untill around the 12 month mark as don’t believe people keep coming and going in children’s lives is very healthy

Rubbish took itself out.

However, in future, keep your own boundaries and don’t make your ex the bad guy. ‘My ex’s says I can’t’ is weak and wrong.

Lucky escape there

Glad you found out now, understand you may have been looking forward to a future together and it is a surprise to you.

Her reactions has shown you her true character. A controlling bully which is aggressive when she doesn't get her own way. You dodged a bullet. Life with her would be a nightmare.

Yep. The number of threads on here where a woman moves her bloke in with her kids and he’s an absolute cocklodging twat but she can’t end it because ‘the kids love him’

Several red flags here, the two that stand out is her pushing against your boundary then getting nasty when you stood firm. It sounds like you dodged a bullet. Getting close to your kids early on could have been a manipulative tactic, designed to make it harder for you to split later.

You Did well to stick to your principles. She sounds unhinged and you have dodged a bullet.

You did the right thing. She was looking for a father for her child and would have treated yours very badly. Good riddance to her.

I wish my ex was like you. He moved his gf after she met my children twice.
stick to your guns, your children come first and you absolutely did the right thing in sticking to your agreement.

Lucky escape! You’ve seen what she’s really like!

You’ve done the right thing by your children and I think it’s for the best that things have ended now rather than later, I think you will see this when the initial hurt dies down