MIL wants DH to meet her on his own for Mother’s Day

Do other siblings live close to her? Are they still meeting on Mother's Day?

You mention solo parenting more than once - surely you can manage solo parenting on other days. I don't know, he stays 2 hours away so presumably she doesn't see her that often. As parents get older, these are the type of days that seem to mean more to them - even though its marketing hype. Get him to get baby up, fed, changed and dressed, make you breakfast in bed and then you can solo parentbtill he comes uome with a takeaway. Everybody gets something, we'll apart from the men.

I think mothers with adult children and grandchildren should step back and let the new mothers have their Mother’s Day. I have GC and I do not expect to see my DC this Sunday - it’s not about me anymore - it’s about new families and their new traditions.

Would you be visiting your own mother on mothering sunday had she not been on holiday?

I wouldn't tell/ask my DH not to visit his mother on mothering sunday, just because she's had years of visits doesn't mean that because we now have DC she should be pushed aside.
I'd never treat my own DM that way either, and he'd never expect me to.

I'd be more than happy being the one having mothering sunday on the Saturday.

Presumably op enjoys her dc - even the baby! Not everyone needs A Break or to Relax child free. Mil wants to sit head of the table with her offspring hanging on her every word without dw's and dc spoiling that.
Dh needs to remember who he made vows to.

Once your baby is weaned then my answer to this sort of behaviour would be "that sounds lovely. You should take the kid(s). She'll enjoy seeing her grandchildren and I can have the day off for mothers day"

Sometimes you have to teach grown women to share the hard way and people who pander to this that looking after small children solo is hard work a lot of the time.

This! It’s for you and your DCs, not partners.

Hopefully your dc will want to spend Mother’s Day with you in the future 😊

Well I think your DH and his siblings are all unreasonable for not bothering to arrange anything for their mum on Mother’s Day - albeit on another day - and leaving it up to her to have to contact them and organise something so shame on them.

I notice your parents are on holiday but if they weren’t, would you have arranged something for your mum?

If this request is a first, as a one off I would go with it. She probably has a good reason, wants to tell or have a discussion with them about something important. It won't kill you to be on your own for one day.

He has his own family now.

If necessary he should point that out.

Absolutely

I was way too sleep deprived to even remember my first Mothers' day. The first one that was special was the one when the DC could actually appreciate what the day meant and show their appreciation, which was probably around age 3.

Otherwise it's just your partner appreciating you, which I hope they do every day :)

I just don't get mother's who do this! I would NEVER expect or ask my adult children, who had their own children to leave their own families and focus on me on Mother's Day! Yes, send me a card and give me a call (flowers not unwanted either 😂), but that's it.

My mil isn't quite as bad as this, but does still centre herself on days like this. Luckily my dh is very diplomatic and finds a low key way to include her, while still making me the focus of the day (giving me a rest from parenting young children!). You're in the hard slog of parenting and deserve to be celebrated, just tell your dh that you'd like him around to give you a restful day and not lumber you with solo parenting. He can go see his mum the day before or the following weekend.

I disagree - the day was always intended to be a day when children showed their appreciation for their mothers. The first time mothers’ day had any meaning for me was when my daughter was three and made me a card which she gave me with a handful of bluebells that she had picked from the garden. I would thought my husband was very strange if he’d celebrated the day with me in any way before then. But mothers’ day has become hideously over commercialised now, like so many other things. Being given a hand made card that was made with love is worth so much more to me than any shop bought present or meal out.

I think the first one is special though. And yes the baby is too young to know, but it’s special for the mum

She sounds very selfish. You could have had a nice family celebration together. She should feel blessed that her children have loving partners and have given her grandchildren. Being a Mother is about loving your children and not alienating their partners and children.

I totally get where you are coming from OP.

I see your updates and it’s sorted now?

But I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to want to spend time together on Mother’s Day especially your first one, it’s special for you.

She could have picked any other time so she is clearly just trying to pull rank.

Yes, that's what I thought @Commonsenseisnotsocommon

Your MIL's kids need to state clearly to their mother that meeting like this are going to become less frequent now that you all have children.

This shouldn't be an unpopular opinion - it's spot on. I expect my adult children to prioritise themselves and daughters to enjoy being the centre of attention on that day. Occasionally it becomes a big multi generational family event but expecting your adult son to leave his children and their Mum is massively selfish.

On your first Mother’s Day your DH needs to be with you and baby all day to spoil you on behalf of baby and make the day special for you. His mum has had loads of Mother’s Days. It’s your turn now. End of.

She’s clearly not wanting to let her children move away from her, emotionally. Many possible reasons for that. Watch out for this because there WILL come a time when your DH will have to choose between you and her, and whatever the outcome someone will be unhappy. It’s just a horribly position to put your children in.

So she could do this any weekend basically and didn't need to make it mothers day . Which although is important. Can also be celebrated the day before .
But with young children it is nice to have a day that your other half takes more of the responsibility. Even if it's just having a nice long lie in and lunch sorted for you.

Every mum is different and some do not see Mother’s Day as a big deal which is absolutely fine but a lot of mums see their first Mother’s Day as a huge milestone, my DH made sure to make me feel celebrated as I did for him on Father’s Day. Baby might not remember, but the mum will.

After pregnancy losses I couldn’t wait to be a mum, Mother’s Day always felt hard whilst grieving so Mother’s Day with my own baby was a huge thing for me. As it is to other mums, even without going through loss

As she hasn't specifically said "no partners", perhaps she is assuming that the partners (and children) are also included.