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Original poster

Friend lost to church

107 replies

Changedusernameforthis2 · 26/03/2025 07:45

Hello
Changed my username for this. I just need to vent I suppose. Friend of many years says she can no longer be friends with me (and a few others) as we are against her faith. She says she only wants friends who are Christians. I'm baffled by this. I grew up with parents who were Christians (mum more than dad ) and I enjoyed church, and have gone intermittently in my adult years. I really enjoy the volunteering element of church and helping with the projects etc but I've always been clear with everyone that I'm not sure I believe in God. There are a few people at every church I have been to who also share this feeling, it's not uncommon.
The church she goes to is pretty fundamental (no gay people, etc and when I went there once, Trump was mentioned in the sermon and half the people clapped. I'm in the UK btw)
I'm equally sad, baffled and annoyed.
I knowntheres nothing I can really do, but I feel like she is being radicalised!

OP posts:
blcakgaragedoor · 26/03/2025 07:58

Mwydryn · 26/03/2025 07:49

I'd have to get in touch to say you're sorry she feels that way, and that you have concerns about the church and its teachings. If she is familiar with the story of Christ, it's not exactly difficult to see that his teachings are the exact opposite to the hatred spouted by Trump. I'm always really shocked by how people can square their Christian faith with a Trumpean mindset.

Agreed. This is an excellent response. And one I’d like to see the reply to

StScholastica · 26/03/2025 07:56

There isn't a lot you can do unfortunately.
No mainstream Christian faith asks you to cut out others, it sounds quite extreme and cult like.
Organisations like this are very hard to break free from.
She's made her choice, I think you just need to move on without her.

Kitkatfiend31 · 26/03/2025 07:54

Unfortunately there isn't anything you can do but it is sad. I also lost a friend to church. Not in quite the same way she just wasn't ever available to see me anymore. It's sad. I think people get consumed by the group and stop looking at anyone else around them.

SoManyTeeth · 26/03/2025 07:52

Standard abuse/cult tactic — cut people off from any external sources of support, companionship, or differing ideas. Oh, they'll try and gussy it up in fancy language and persuasive justifications, but that's what they're doing. Alongside, probably, showering her with attention, love, promises of endless support and a readymade community, and all the other stuff they do to draw (usually vulnerable) people in. IME there's no easy way to get people out when they're in the honeymoon stage, unfortunately.

AstonishedWaiting · 26/03/2025 07:51

Mwydryn · 26/03/2025 07:49

I'd have to get in touch to say you're sorry she feels that way, and that you have concerns about the church and its teachings. If she is familiar with the story of Christ, it's not exactly difficult to see that his teachings are the exact opposite to the hatred spouted by Trump. I'm always really shocked by how people can square their Christian faith with a Trumpean mindset.

This. Send her a link to Mariann Edgar Budde’s sermon.

Mwydryn · 26/03/2025 07:49

I'd have to get in touch to say you're sorry she feels that way, and that you have concerns about the church and its teachings. If she is familiar with the story of Christ, it's not exactly difficult to see that his teachings are the exact opposite to the hatred spouted by Trump. I'm always really shocked by how people can square their Christian faith with a Trumpean mindset.

Katemax82 · 26/03/2025 07:49

My stepson is a bit like this...no advice just sympathy

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