Day off for dads death

Let him take the day off but do something special to mark it

This. Give him the day off to spend however he wants. If its on his own, gaming, where he can be sad and work through emotions and memories without being in a class full of teenagers then absolutely let him do that. I book significant days off work now as an adult, hes completely allowed to have that day to spend exactly how he wishes.

If you allow it this year, he’ll expect it every other year
What's wrong with that?
Yes I would allow him the day.

Exactly. Although some people clearly lack empathy, comparing it to an adult talking a day off work. Losing a parent as a child shapes your life,

Yes I'd let him. He has full attendance, it's not like he's taking the mick. He's grieving, you should support him.

Definitely let him have the day off, and it doesn’t matter if it turns into a yearly tradition

It doesn’t matter what most would do, it matters what he wants to do.

I don't agree with those who say he shouldn't spend the day gaming. Maybe that's how he will deal, by distracting his mind with something else?

I've just been through an anniversary and I made sure I was busy. Gaming means you can shift your mind elsewhere.

Today would be my Dad’s 60th birthday. In three weeks it’s the ten year anniversary of his death.

Please let your son take the time he needs to remember his Dad. Or just ignore the world for the day. Whatever he needs.

One day does not make a pattern of every year. One year he might prefer to be busy and distracted but, for now, he’s asked you for the time and I think you should give it to him. It shows that you respect how he’s choosing to mourn, which is so important in processing grief.

Take care of yourself too. 3 years is still so recent. ❤️❤️

I’d say yes. It’s 1 day, it won’t hurt.

I strongly suspect that the people on here saying “send him to school” have never experienced the loss of a parent at an unnatural and early age.

Is it his first at secondary school? I imagine that's harder.

oh FFS. It’s one day.

I agree. He should be allowed to stay at home.

Fuck sake some people are so clueless! Of course let him have the day off, it’s what he has told you he needs.

I was a toddler when my mum died and I spend each anniversary doing something specific. If you don’t have enough memories of your parent then you can’t just quietly remember them inbetween lessons to honour them. You need more of a structure.

Yes, he’s a child. “Would you have the day off work” - no, I’m an adult. We are taking about a child who has lost a parent.

My mum died when I was 11. She died on the Friday, I was sent to school on the Monday. I even got in trouble for not doing the homework that had been set on the Friday. No one gave a shit about me.

Let him have the day to remember his dad. The world went the other way with me and it fucked me up.

Definitely let him have the day off. My dad died in 2013 when I was 19 and my brother was 11 and the anniversary of his death is still never easy. There’s no harm in letting him have the day off. He’ll thank you for it in the future. I think he’s being very self aware and brave by asking for the day off if he needs it. Don’t force him to go to school.

It’s the second anniversary of my mum’s death in May & I’ve booked the day off. I’m planning a long walk somewhere.

I think your son should be allowed. I’m very sorry for your loss too. Would it help you both to do something together?

To the people saying send him in, have you been in this situation?

I’m a mid 30s adult and take the day off work every year on the anniversary of dd’s death. I wouldn’t want to pretend to be normal on that day and I see this as the same. In fact, I don’t understand why this is even being questioned.

OP, please let him stay at home.

Let him have it off. He’s telling you what he needs and ordinarily he is very good at attending. He doesn’t need distracting. If he wants to spend the day sobbing over his father, why is that wrong?!

I say that as someone who works in a school and who very much thinks attendance matters but mental wellbeing matters more.

I'm a teacher and I agree with this.

If his attendance is usually excellent, even though he doesn't love school, he's expressing a need rather than finding one more reason not to go.

But I agree with a pp that I would be arranging a day of doing something nice with him to remember his dad rather than allow him to sit on his phone playing games all day.

I have to agree some of the responses are really harsh esp in regard to a child who has lost a parent,he's asked for the day so he obviously feels he needs it & if it's 1 day of the year he takes off well so be it,it's one day in the great scheme of things.

Can’t he? He probably won’t want/need to as he grows up and if you’re worrying about the work place, by that age he’ll be able to gauge if he needs to stay off/appreciate he needs to go in for whatever reason/wont feel the need to stay off. He can book a day of annual leave no problem.
But one day of school a year seems fair enough. I don’t see the problem. Half the time it will fall in the holidays anyway as OP said.

I'd let him have the time off. He's asked and that tells you how much he needs it. It's one day.

Let him have the day off.

I say this as a nearly 50 year old who still can remember how difficult it was having to pretend to be normal on the anniversary of my dad's death throughout primary and secondary school.

Be proud that you're raising a child who can articulate his emotions to you around his dad.