Day off for dads death

Jesys Christ @TwigletsAndRadishes I can't deal with your reply at all.

I'm an atheist but I was brought up an Anglican. I can't remember the exact words but does anyone else remember the bit in the Bible where God is compared to a father who will give a child bread if they ask for bread, and won't insist that they have a stone instead bevause it's what they should have? Anyway, that's how I took it.

Having a day away from school or work is not 'wallowing in grief'. My God.

Is it? I think it's probably pretty accurate.

Of course you can, absolutely yes. Also tell him you’re proud of him for being honest and advocating for himself.

Really? What a weird thing to say.

This. Of course its fine

Seldom does anything on MN shock me anymore. Your default to it's a boy so he must be skiving off to watch porn and game has though. Where is your compassion?

You can mark the anniversary very meaningfully without taking a day off school. He's 12. He's already lost a ton of schooling and socialising to covid. Allowing this is not going to help him built resilience. He needs to understand that his request can be denied for very good reason and it doesn't mean that his mum doesn't understand his need to mark the anniversary in some way. He just needs to find a way to do it that doesn't involve ducking out of an important responsibility.

If he wants the anniversary of his dad's death off school then does he also want Father's Day and his Dad's birthday? It's been three years. It's time to gently encourage him to to remember fondly, not wallow in grief.

Let him have the day off and spend it with him doing something meaningful to you both.
its only 1 day and he’s still very young.

No because she has bills to pay school is not a job. Stop expecting kids to live like adults.

It’s perfectly normal to want a day off to process what happened. A person close to me always books a few days annual leave on the anniversary of a traumatic event. It’s a healthy way to deal with your emotions. I’d be congratulating him on his maturity.

Let him stay at home. It's one day. He is asking you for what he needs at this point in time. Listen.

Are you going to be taking the day off with him? I don’t think it would be good for him to spend the day on his own.

What’s the issue ? If his attendance is good let him have the day off .its bound to be an emotional day for him . He is telling you it’s hard for him to, help him .

I usually get pissed and cry on the anniversary of my baby’s still birth. Is that okay with you? So what if he wants to play games. Should he be doing maths workbooks instead, would that be okay?

And where the fuck did porn come from? Fuck me, there are some real nasty people around.

I'd let him. He will remember that day of reflection and not having to possibly hold it together at school when it already sounds like he knuckles down despite not enjoying it. A day off from things he doesnt like about school might be a relief and it's actually a really good black and white reason to have it off, so it's not like it can become a frequent habit. One day a year isn't much if a concession, and he'll remember that more than a 100% attendance cert when he's grown.

Let him have it off.
It was over 20 years ago, but I still remember breaking down at work on an anniversary of my brother's death. Grief is a strange beast. Don't make it more public than it needs to be.

If he was my son and he asked for this day off, I would have no hesitation in agreeing.

I would definitely let him choose, if he wants the day off that is absolutely fine. Posts that say, he would expect it every year, why not? It would be so awful for him to be at school, and be upset. 🌺

I would let him have it off. Poor baby boy. I hope he’s okay. I think it would be a hard day for anyone let alone a kid. X

Yes I’d let him off school and tell school he’s sick. Its only one day and we all need to grieve in our own way. Bless you both.

I'd let him take the day off school. Can you go somewhere for lunch that you went to as a family? Walk and talk and remember his dad and the good times?
Second the note about Winstons wish.

We used to have family holidays on the coast and we go down once a year for a day trip or overnight and we put a painted pebble on the beach and have a bit of quiet time with our thoughts. It's been 10 years.

I'd let him stay home. There's no point him being there if his mind isn't focused on the lessons plus if he does get emotional then he's open to being teased for weeks.

I too have a DD who has lost their father, so write to you from that knowledge as well. Your 12 year old has expressed what he needs to do for his father's anniversary - listen to him and hear him - he is 12, he has an excellent record at school, why not? If it was my Dd I would do this in a heartbeat (unless she was writing a final exam and I would go through this with her). I know my Dd took quite a while to even come to be able to talk about the her father dying, I would see this as healthy of your son, and a way of expressing his grief and what he needs

Can you be off with him? I'd let him but would worry about him being alone all day feeling down.

If something like bullying is going on then he's a lot more likely to disclose it while hanging out on a quiet day together.

He's asking for help. Don't ignore it.