Bit of a disclaimer here. My mother is a narcissist, so it's hard for me to be objective about how a "normal" family works this kind of thing.
She's about 70. I'm about 40. My eldest is 15, the youngest 4. Every year since I was about 14, mother's day has been about trying to appease her. Lavish presents. Always a very fancy home cooked meal, or paying for her and DF, and usually DNan, (her own DM who I invite/arrange as that's kind of expected of me too) plus either cooking/paying for my own meal and that of all the DC. I'm an only child.
This year, I've thought, I can't be done with this any more. Fuck the sulking and emotional abuse, I'm not waiting for my first mother's day where I'm enjoying it instead of running round after her like I have for the last 35 occasions, to be when I'm 50 and all my kids are older. About 3 weeks ago, I get a text asking what I've booked. In a nutshell I said I wasn't planning anything. She's sulking. DF is getting shitty with me in passive aggressive ways, basically because he's having to endure her sulking and the solution, as always, is for me to pander to her and put myself last... and I'm not.
I know that goes a lot deeper than mother's day, and I'm sure a lot of women enjoy the day out/in as a mother, and enjoy having their mum join them simultaneously (congratulations on not having a narc mum) but I wondered if other more normal families just had a sort of acceptance where mother's day becomes your time to enjoy instead of catering for your own mother? I can't imagine my kids having kids, and having tantrums at them expecting mothers day to be about me.