Do you remind your partner about their own mother on mother's day?

I buy two cards one for my mother and one for his, if he wants to get her presents that’s up to him. If we see her I buy her some flowers from our children…she loves that.

both our parents passed many many years ago... so not something we have to worry about.

he does not remind my kids to sort something out for me, they are adults and can think for themselves. however, as they are now parents themselves, we are doing my mothers day lunch on thursday, so they can enjoy whatever their own families have arranged for them on the day.

i would probably have a heart attack if his kids even realise what the day is? i've not received any form of anniversary acknowledgement from his kids in the 13 years we've been together so i wont hold my breath for sunday

Nope. I don’t do anything for DPs side of the family, entirely up to them to remember sibs or parents b’days or write them a Xmas card or sort out their parents. Just as I do in my side.

I sort of like my MIL (she can a pita though) and I wouldn’t want her to be sad on Mother’s Day, so I would always remind him and help him think of something thoughtful. He’s great at being thoughtful for me, but no one else so if I didn’t remind him then she would get nothing, which wouldn’t make me feel very good!

I'm a let down. I've bought the card and bought the gifts. My excuse - a friend has a gorgeous card/gift shop and I like spending money in there, I saw something my MIL will love. I love my MIL - I like buying things for her.

DP will get her flowers and he's travelling to see her for the day (not local) and taking her out. He's booked a table. MIL will love an afternoon out with him. (I can join them but I'm on med treatment and not up to meals put)

I like buying gifts so to me it's not a hassle. DP is utterly shit at buying gifts.

I'm low maintenance on those things.

ill take any of the following; hugs kind words/ a card /small gift /washing up done /plate of toast etc...

I can’t really get on board with that reminding your partner about birthdays and Mother’s Day is being part of a team. There are things that are household that affect everyone and things that are personal. Birthdays etc are personal, they are about me remembering my family members. The only time it would come up
in conversation if it was a big birthday or family gathering.

I’m quite surprised that a couple in a family know all family birthdays, discuss what to get for Christmas, Mother’s Day etc. Must be just the men I know but none of them are like this. I often get the impression however that women do it because they think it is expected and they will get blamed by the other persons family. I’ve never cared about that as I think it’s a reflection of their son, brother etc not me.

I've never once had to remind my partner about mother's day, fathers day or any of his mum's, dad's or brothers birthdays. His mum reminds him about his grandparents and SIL but he's a grown up and capable of using online calenders to remind him to do things when necessary

DH's family have never celebrated Mother's Day or Father's Day, which I find a bit strange. Initially I thought he was making it up because he couldn't be arsed, but his siblings confirmed it.

No I don't remind him. He usually remembers and gets sth last minute. I might ask him what he has sorted out. Mother's / Father's day is between that parent and their child, don't know why anyone else would get involved, unless the children are very young.

That’s not what the OP was saying though. I think most couples are like this, it’s the partners who have to be reminded every year, not the ones who bring it up and talk about things.

This post nails it. Same here

Have you met her? She abused my husband throughout his childhood and is an alcoholic. Sorry that I don’t love her!

I do remind him , his mother is lovely I buy a present when I'm picking my own mothers usually a plant or something small. She buys me a mother's day card too .

Nice that this works for you but can you comprehend not everyone's circumstances are the same as yours. Not everyone loves the ritual of gift shopping, for many it's a chore to buy pointless tat that no one actually wants.

My own mum is dead, I am a mum and to be quite honest I don't think MIL has been a very good mum to DH or his siblings so no, I don't get involved. Luckily DH is also a well educated capable adult with a demanding job and yet always manages to remember mother's day and organise gifts by himself. I have never needed to remind him.

My DH reminds me as I am terrible at remembering dates even though I’m a mother myself. I’d hate to be married to some of you from the way you are going on. It’s not just a ‘man’ thing, you know

No

It’s really depressing that people have to justify their partners forgetting about milestones by saying they are a ‘team’. Teams work together, but they also support each other. My husband and I are a team, we support each other and care for each other. I’m not sure he’d feel that cared for if I needed to be reminded of his birthday. Same with having to remind him about Mother’s Day. I’m a mother so I would be essentially reminding him to make me a card with the children too.

I used to order the flowers and delivery for Mil in our first few years of marriage.Never a thanks or acknowledgement from her or him, neither cared and I felt like why bother myself? She is very different as a MIL and Grandma,seemingly not interested in either roll so I guess I don't know her really. I don't mention it at all . If nothing happens then nothing happens.I don't care enough .

This thread is a little depressing. It's nothing to do with him being competent or an adult, or this being woman's work, but completely about being a team.

I may ask him if we should do something nice for the mothers for Mother's Day and he'll arrange it or he might be the one to ask me and I'll sort it but regardless, we work as a unit and play to our strengths and weaknesses. I love the sentimentality and ritual of gift-shopping, he does not so may ask me for ideas, I don't like driving, so he will do that.

We are both well-educated, capable adults with demanding jobs and lots of things going on...helping each other in this way does not infantalise the other, it's about sharing the burden of busy and sometimes chaotic lives because we actually love each other.

I hope my own son will remember to send me a card, not his wife...

Usually I remember, thanks for this…

I got presents for both mums at the same time. MIL will know it’s me who sorted it but that’s ok as I generally quite like her and she’s a brilliant granny.

No, 11 years together have never done that

There would be no way my DH would know Mothers Day was coming up unless I told him. Same with Fathers Day and those pesky pointless May Bank Hols.

He does remember birthdays and Valentines though

I do but only because I adore her and I'm nc with my own mother
He wouldn't forget to get her anything,but I enjoy browsing and choosing her present and card
I'm the same with birthdays and Christmas
He's more than capable of doing it,I just enjoy it more than he does