Do you remind your partner about their own mother on mother's day?

I do remind him, but he buys and sends her card. I do it more because his Mum has a really tough life and I want to be sure that she'll get something. She's the sort of person who would never want to be a bother to anyone so she wouldn't complain if she didn't get a card but I know that getting one would make her feel happy.
But DH also reminds me of loads of stuff, so I feel we both help each other in different ways and in the end it works out about equal. He's oblivious to 'occasions', I'm oblivious to when the house insurance needs renewing and many other things. We work as a team to divide and conquer all the things that need doing, rather than be two totally separate individuals who happen to live in the same house.

Completely agree with Laiste. It's a small kindness I do for her, one that she won't know about, but it makes me happy to know she will feel loved by her son. And yes, it does sadden me a bit that my husband does not care for his mum that much in general, but that's not something I can do anything about.

It's his mum, so no. I do remind about birthdays from time to time but he sorts it all. It's his family.

Nope. I haven't bought a Mother's Day card for over 30 years so it's not even on my radar.

Besides, he managed well enough before we got together so 🤷🏻‍♀️

We're going out for dinner with his family for Mother's Day on Sunday, but he contacted his sister to see if she was available and then he booked it. I'll just make sure I'm ready to go at whatever time he tells me to he ready for.

I don't need to remind him and he sorts her card but I'll get her flowers just because I will be going to the shops and DH won't. We are a team and they are from all of us as a family so why not.

Yes, I do. Because I’d hate for him to forget, I can only imagine how sad that would make her — and my husband can be forgetful. I also bought her a present this year, and had the kids create drawings for her. I don’t do that every year but for some reason, this year, I did. I don’t mind.

I used to yes but not now, I was unwittingly papering over cracks

You sound like the nicest person on Mumsnet, @TheatreTraveller.
I see so many threads where MILs are treated with disdain, including a Mothers Day thread where posters were queueing to say MILs have had their day and it's not their turn anymore. That made me sad but your post cheered me up that not everyone hates or resents their MIL. I wish you and your MIL a lovely day on Sunday.

Jesus Christ, no. Why would I? He's an adult, and his relationship with his mum is between them and not my business.

My daughter does this with her brother. This year she was delighted he already had it sorted. He's 30 in September so we are getting there 😂

Dh knows it’s Mother’s Day this weekend. I don’t think he has sent anything but mil doesn’t care about flowers. Maybe he could send a card but that’s his job.

No, I don’t remind him about it. He’ll often ask if I can pick his mum some flowers and a card up when I get my mums which is fine, there are many things that I will ask him to pick up that benefits me and me only.

I do remind mine as he wouldn’t remember until it was too late to send anything and we don’t live near. It’s annoying that he doesn’t remember though, however, I really like my mother in law and she gets a lot of pleasure receiving something from him. He buys the card and orders the flowers. Only on very rare occasions have I done it eg. when he is very ill or working abroad. My MIL has worked out that I remind him because she has thanked me for doing so. I guess he wasn’t very reliable in the past!

Yes, I do remind him of the day in case it’s slipped his mind.

Why wouldn’t I help my DH out if I can?
I appreciate it when he reminds me of things too.

This exactly.

I ordered flowers for his mum yesterday as I was doing mine at the same time. Nice and early as I am away this weekend with my friend. DP is looking after my kids while I’m away because he is a nice, kind, capable adult.

He could have, and would have, sorted it if I hadn’t - and he’d have checked if I needed him to sort anything for my mum while he did.

I have this year, I bought the card and put it in front of him with a pen, then I took the card to the post office to send it ( a month ago as she lives abroad) I’ve then arranged for flowers to be delivered to her.
I resent doing this, but in previous years he leaves it too late and her token card arrives late and she gets nothing.
MIL is lovely and deserves to be recognised on Mother’s Day. I’m ashamed at how shit my husband is.

DH is responsible for cards for his family, I'm responsible for mine.

We both send our mums cards for Mothering Sunday but they are not ones that say "Happy Mothering Sunday", they are pretty or interesting cards that we buy when we see them in independent shops, art galleries etc. We have a card drawer in the study and just use them from there.

I think that the issue is that some women are sad that their husbands don’t value their mums and are trying to manage their mum in laws feelings by pretending that the son is thoughtful. You can’t manage others feelings like that, nor is it your responsibility.

I used to get my dad a card and present for my mum as he just wasn’t bothered, I was trying to manage my mums emotions. It doesn’t work.

I agree.

I hate the often used 'not my monkeys not my circus'. Sometimes I will go out of my way if DH is overrun at work but often don't have to.
I'm also a foster carer and make sure our fc get a card/gift for mum or dad, IF they want too. They need to see how responsible adults behave/ help one another. Some people on here just seem bitter!

No. I have no relationship with my own mother and find mothers day difficult, he knows that and would never do anything to make it harder.

as our girls gave grown we have fallen into a lovely routine where they take me out for brunch and DH takes his mum for brunch at her favourite garden centre.

This! If I'm in the card shop I'll always grab the cards we need for upcoming occasions for both of our families and friends not just mine. I just see it as family admin. He will do the same.

If ons of us mentally clocks that there's an occasion coming up we will mention it to the other one. If I'm somewhere and I see something his mum or someone else in his family would like I'd also buy it. It was my Dad's birthday recently and DH picked him up some local beers from a certain shop as he was getting some for himself. We are a team and have to work efficiently because life is busy 🤣

Also I'm the forgetful one of the two of us and I'd be sad to think he wouldn't remind me of something if he'd thought I'd forgotten.

It’s swings and roundabouts in our house. Some years I might remind him, some years he’d know about it before i did. Like this year, he came in the other day with 2 large boxes of chocolates as noticed they were on special when he was in the shop. We said we’d pick up vouchers while we’re out at the weekend and that’s both mothers done.

The thing is there’s no expectation on my behalf to be the one to remember and he’d never think it was my sole responsibility

I have to say that I do usually do this for my husband, but this is motivated by me recognising that my MIL is a great granny to my kids and she’d feel really sad to not receive anything… he doesn’t seem to be as bothered by this thought hence will leave until last minute/forget, but it’s something that I feel is important so I pick it up.