To ask Dh’s boss to fund private school for our Dd school

If he isn't paid well for the work he puts in, it isn't a good wage compared with other countries, you can't earn as much as you would in the UK, and you would prefer your DD in an English speaking school, why are you staying there? (In case they call your bluff)
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for the fees BTW, agree completely normal for expat

@Sleepington it's definitely worth the DH saying what the money is for rather than just a straightforward increase in salary. It may be more advantageous for the company to add school fees as part of his package, rather than set a precedent of salary for that position. I can imagine one or two positions within my team where I wouldn't want to justify an increase in base salary for that role, but might be willing to pay school fees directly to keep someone.

This is common enough even in the UK for HMRC to have guidance on how it's to be treated: https://www.gov.uk/expenses-benefits-school-fees-for-employees-child

It depends. The OP's DH will be looking for a minimum of a 10K raise (e.g. of an Int. school in Spain). That is a hefty increase for someone earning e.g. 40K.

I think he needs to have a frank conversation about the intention of moving back to the UK if DD cannot go to the international school. Employer can then decide.

He sounds like a very valued member of the team, so am sure something can be negotiated to accommodate this.
Absolutely no harm in trying

My FIL worked abroad for many years and his employer paid for private education for DH and his siblings. It was part of the package when the family relocated and was applied to every country they lived in.

Was your DH employed whilst already living in the country or did he relocate to take up the job offer? It doesn't sound like this is the case as education would usually be part of the contract.

I wouldn't ask for an employer to cover school fees at this stage. If your DH is truly invaluable to the employer, then he should ask for a raise. By all means, say why he is requesting it. But you saying your DH is worth more than he is paid is all relative to the living costs of the country you are in. If we voluntarily moved to Spain, then DH's salary would halve. That doesn't mean he is being underpaid and he should be earning twice the salary.

If your DH asks for an increase in salary, then he needs to be prepared to move countries to find the salary he wants/needs.

My partner owns a business and one of his employees asked for a pay rise to pay for his wife’s boob job. I am not joking. He did give him the pay rise as he said he is a good member of staff. (Nothing to do with me as we live apart, separate finances, not my business). The point being you can ask for whatever you want but the boss has the choice of saying yes or no.

As others have said, school fees are very often part of the deal when people work overseas, so I don’t think it’s an outrageous suggestion at all.

Was your dh recruited locally? In which case he is understandably not on an expat contract. If he is an expat, schooling is normally standard. It doesn’t sound as if he is as you’ve paid for healthcare, which is generally provided.

Happy Valley 😮

I'm glad your daughter is on the mend.

Genuine question - if your daughter is fluent in the local language, what will an English speaking school offer that a local one can't? Could additional tutoring do that in a more affordable way?

If you go in asking for him to pay for school for your sick daughter or you'll leave, it may well come across as emotionally blackmailing him which will do your husband's reputation no favours. Plus it puts him in a really difficult position if he cant/won't. Plus what happens if he decides to stop paying it or he dies etc?

Just ask for a raise and put a good business case together. If you threaten to leave, make sure you are willing and able to do that. Otherwise your husband will look daft and again it will damage his reputation.

Good luck.

A lot of overseas riles come with relocatjon packages and some with school fees. Essentially, you are asking for a payrisr to the cost of the school fees. Based on your husbands salary , if this seems reasonable to you then ask for it. If you are going to return to the UK anyway if you can't get the fees covered, then why not ask as you have nothing to lose.

I would ask, but in a less direct way. Something like "We've reached the end of the school system here working for DD and sadly feel she needs an English language education. It looks like returning to the uk is likely, but I first just wanted to check that there aren't any funds put aside for employee's children to attend private schools here". If boss then wants to personally offer you money for it he can.

I don't know what the laws are where you are, but here you couldn't do it because they'd legally have to offer it to all employees and it would be seen as a benefit in kind, so taxed.

The way around it would be to have the boss do it as a loan that's paid back out of salary. Rich business owners like this because it's a way to reduce corp tax.

He should ask for a raise or renegotiate his package to include school fees.

Simple! No need to lay on loads of emotional stuff.

The company will see it in transactional terms anyway.

Higher HR cost in return for talent retention.

There is a good chance that the school fees would be a business expenditure, so it would cost less for the company to pay it than increase his salary accordingly.

@Justallabitblahreally The argument used by DH's daughter was that they needed their daughter to be educated according to the English system so that she could just slot back into school when they got home.

In my experience, school fees are a standard part of an expat package, so he should negotiate with HR. Wishing you all the best, it doesn’t sound like an easy situation for you to be in.

No harm in asking at all. I have worked in international schools in two countries and most of our students' fees were paid by the company a parent worked for.

What country are you in and how old is your daughter?
my experience of global mobility is that lots of employers pay for international school fees for many years, if not until end of compulsory school age.

I certainly wouldn't frame the request the way you have in your title! But you're quite right that school fees (either in full or a part contribution) often form part of an expat package, so it's not a crazy idea in principle. But usually it would be part of the deal upfront, and from the sounds of it you're not expats in the traditional sense?

If you're serious about returning to the UK if you can't access alternative schooling where you are, then your DH can certainly make school fees or an equivalent pay rise the condition of him staying on. Then it's up to them to decide if they are willing to pay. But unless you are genuinely prepared to walk away if they say no then it would be a risky strategy.

Wishing good health to your DD.