To ask Dh’s boss to fund private school for our Dd school

ex pat thing is confusing as we are ex pats, but he was employed once we were here
I think this will be a hard sell then. As expat type packages are to encourage you over

I personally think it’s cheeky, but I’m an immigrant. Plenty of children across the world have to adapt to local schools and a new language.

I think it would make more sense to figure out the costs and ask for that as a raise (and sure, explain why). If he pays your fees, surely other employees would expect similar benefits down the line or some sort of accommodation for them as well?

It does come across as bit much to take this man’s generosity and use it as a reason as to why he should pay for your child’s education. You seem to have decided that because he’s a multimillionaire he should be ok with funding people off a sob story. I mean, he wouldn’t be a multimillionaire very long if he put his hand in his pocket for every person who came his way with their hands out, would he?

And what does his personal wealth have to do with anything?

It comes down to the health of the business. Can they afford to provide this extra? You’re entitled to ask and should, but threatening with leaving to the uk for a ‘better education’ is probably going to raise an eyebrow seeing as the whole system is falling apart.

Questions to ask yourself before you bring it up would be:
How much of a pay rise would this be in cash terms?
Does anyone else get this?
Are you romanticising the idea of paid schools?
Where do you actually want to live?
Where does your daughter want to live?
Healthcare - you mentioned she’s been ill. I hope she’s doing ok. If you want good healthcare where is best. England is hit and massive miss depending on county right now. More so than usual, I mean.

Before you ask. Find out the full school fees and figure out the annual cost, then cost over the Number of years. You will need to understand how much you are asking for.

Be aware of the possible tax implications in your country:

1. in some countries, it is tax effective for an employer to pay certain benefits to an expat/overseas hire. But only for a few years because the expat is in country temporarily. It’s attractive for the employer because of tax situation so they are happier to pay the school fees and get the expertise of the overseas hire that is not available locally. Usually 1-3 yrs.
2. in some countries, if you are a local employee (not expat) and your employer pays school fees it becomes a taxable benefit for you. So, fees are paid but you might be required to pay income tax on the school fees. And employer might have to pay tax as well. Increasing costs for you, and employer.
3. or, wherever you are it might not have any tax implications but your employer will be increasing employment costs. There might not be free company money available for school fees.
4. will other employees want this same benefit for their children?

there’s a lot for you to consider before asking

Agree with this. You need to answer the questions that are relevant to giving you advice. We understand what your wishes are.

You are absolutely right - normally people agree their package before committing to a job - health insurance, boarding school, the wage, etc. etc. the lot basically. If your dh can't fund the school easily from his salary, then it will be a big ask - basically, he is changing the terms of his employment contract to which he agreed.

Ask him, you never know.

Good luck.

Why are you avoiding answering questions?

Did your DH relocate to take up the role in his current company?
Is he on a relocation package?
How does his salary compare to others doing his role or similar roles in the country you are in?
Are you serious about returning to the UK?
How will the Int school help in comparison to hiring a tutor when she is fluent in the language?

This

I guess you've never worked abroad as an "ex-pat".

How much would school fees be a year compared to what your husband currently earns? It's not unreasonable to ask for a review of pay and benefits if he's doing well/ been there a while /is thinking of leaving due to a combination of pay and family circumstances.

How much is your DH earning and how much are the school fees?

You haven’t answered if your dh is an expat. It appears not at least reading between the lines. Considering a boss isn’t sending his dcs to international school it may be a hard sell. But worth a shot if your prepared to move if not.

I think this would look incredibly weird and inappropriate to most employers.

This is also our experience. In fact dh was an ‘expat’ in his country of nationality for a while. At another place, one Brit was very salty about not commanding the same benefits as dh and some of their colleagues. There weren’t many others so dh, the boss, a handful of Europeans and a few Americans. Everyone else local contract. His issue was he’d relocated there for the job. But so had a lot of other people as it was a new start up division.

I think this is a very good way of putting it, regardless of the status of your husband's job.

(Also notice international schools are often expensive and prestigious, but also a bit of a clusterfuck. Go in with your eyes wide open!)

I might be being dense, but I'm not clear from your post whether or not you want to ask your bed to personally fund the school fees, as a favour to a friendly colleague, or you are looking to renegotiate a benefit package to include either school fees paid direct, or a pay rise to roughly that amount.

The first would be wildly inapproprioate, even if this person has offered to support your DH as a friend before outside of their professional relationship. The latter is fine, but I think your DH should frame it as something he's looking for as a result of the time he's built up there and to help address the Pull Factors in the UK - steer clear of any sob stories.

Is your husband an expat from his employers' point of view?

Asking because my organisation has expats from our own country + local staff at each branch, but our local staff are often from our own country too. They are however fulfilling roles that are deemed to be locally available, so they would never ever get the expat benefits. Our organisation would never ever go for it either because we do not want the tax implications, the precedent, the hassle, or the principle.

It regularly causes resentment because people see the difference in treatment but not the rationale, and while they are of course told by the organisation that they are very valuable and they are, that always means within the context of "available on the local market at local conditions".

If you are committed to going back to the UK if it doesn't work out, of course, there can be no harm in trying.