To ask Dh’s boss to fund private school for our Dd school

It’s quite a risky move, might be awkward if the answer is no. I agree with one of the first posts - maybe asking for a pay rise is a better idea? Especially if he is really needed.

Another worry would be if he ever lost his job or for whatever reason had to leave, it would also mean your child may be forced to leave the school, however I understand that could be the case regardless of what position he would be in!

@Firethehorse they aren’t expats though. They already lived in the country when he got the job so it’s a local hire, the same as his local colleagues. I don’t think they can pay one employee’s child’s school fees and not the other’s who are on local contracts so all he can do is ask for a pay rise.

This is very likely due to children starting school at too young an age in the UK rather than the Int. school being poor.

My organization would not consider them "expats" (though that's not actually a term - we call them "international hires"). They were not recruited internationally, and the role may not even qualify for international hire, we don't know (and, of course, his company may not have such classifications. Citizenship doesn't define international hires - recognized place of residence does.

So, there is no "of course" about it.

OP I’m an expat who put DC through the International school system in multiple Countries. You are not in any way in the wrong to ask for these fees to be paid. From what I have seen, the majority of expat families are on the larger side with 3 or 4 DC, you are just asking for one set of fees. As school fee costs rise with age and inflation it’s better to ask for the fees themselves to be paid with a young child.
I would agree that not all International schools are good, you need to visit them all and really look at everything, including the actual composition of the year group your DC would potentially be in and the qualifications of the teachers from their biogs plus the class timetable and lunch rotas and clubs offered. After school activities and school buses are often eye watering expensive as they contract them out. Have all this knowledge to hand before you ask.
As many companies are struggling financially right now, it’s becoming more prevalent to be offered a percentage of fees, typically 50-80%.
You know the company concerned better than we can, but I personally would think a face to face meeting would be more productive.
By the way, of course you are expats, you just haven’t yet been given a full expat renumeration package.
Be super prepared, then good luck.

What's the worst that cam happen. Give it a go.

I had family that moved with their child to the Middle East. One of the parents was a teacher, the other worked for a large firm.

Their child was put into the local international school and after 2 years they realised they had to return to the UK as the school was about 2 years behind where the child actually was schooling wise. The realised the child would suffered academically if they didn’t return.

So the international schools aren’t the be all and end all.

@Justallabitblahreally

I work in China for a very large local company where the founder is the main shareholder. My first contract was for 5 years with just the basic terms you would expect; insurance, some flights home and a salary. By the end of that contract DS had come along and during renegotiation I asked for international school fees to be included. The boss agreed and DS will be starting international primary school in September.

It is definitely worth asking, especially if your DH is doing a good job and valued.

ETA I hope your daughter continues to get better

I think the better approach would be for your DH to explain the situation to his boss, say that as a result of this you’re considering your options, which may have to include relocating somewhere with appropriate schooling for your daughter which you can afford. The alternative would be for him to receive a pay rise which would enable him to send DD to this international school which costs X.

Pricate education is a choice and for most, a luxury. Most people have to make some sort of sacrifice to afford it. His boss may not agree to meet the full cost but might agree to a pay rise which would cover some of it. I think you need to be flexible in considering the options rather than just expecting the boss to foot the bill.

does fh boss pay private medical insurance? If he does, that is a real help. If he doesn't better to ask for that, which would cover the whole family.

Never turn down private medical insurance.

It’s very difficult to say when this could be anywhere in the world. It’s definitely not Portugal then though, private day schools are quite common.

Whatever it is I hope you get it sorted, but I would think time and time again before putting my kid back in the UK system, even if the workload here is very light.

Where are you based?
in the UK that isn’t true. School fees are a remuneration offered to many senior positions. Taxes may apply, but is often cheaper than paying the school fees.

It’s not irrelevant in terms of sympathy. They’ll be asking to move their kid to a private school even though their child is fluent, so it makes sense to direct the question to the boss that would be more sympathetic.

I don’t really understand the need for the international school though, unless they plan to move around. There’s private day schools that are more affordable and just as good, if not better at times. Their DD grew up there so she’s fluent, she doesn’t need to be taught in English.

I lived abroad for many years. Some schools were great for my kids and some weren’t. I learned that there are no hard and fast rules. If you aren’t happy and the company wants you to stay then there is always a solution. People who have never left the uk really have no idea of how it works. Definitely see if you can negotiate a package where the company pays for the school. It is in their interest.

Sorry I was also replying to the post above yours!

Just meant her illness and stopping/starting school.

If it were me I'd be pursuing this option strongly fwiw. The advantages of smaller classes and home-language tuition are very strong.

It's just something to keep in mind. It is one further step down the path of a strange and unusual identity compared to "just" being the foreign kid in the local classroom.

I don’t see what relevance where the bosses kids go to school is. It’s up to him what he spends his money on, so to say if it’s good enough for his kids, why not others, is totally irrelevant. Just because he sends his kids to a private school doesn’t mean he’ll pay for everyone’s.

I agree with the previous poster that ‘all in’ ex pat packages are rarely offered now. Your DH needs to ask for a pay rise. Some bosses will agree to pay for school fees or medical bills but they will expect total loyalty and alot of extra work. A friend of ours paid for her PAs kid’s boarding school in the UK so mum was always available for her. (She was earning millions though) and my big boss has paid medical fees for staff family members. We absolutely don’t offer school fees for voluntary moves of location though. Not in this economy.

Then I would suggest that your husband needs to ask for a payrise. By all means set out the motivation for it. As someone pointed out, it may be something that the company can do tax effectively, or if he's under market value a pay rise will take care of it.

He can negotiate his salary without holding a gun to his employers head. It sounds as though you already have a good relationship with him, so it's not that difficult to have a quiet conversation to say " we are concerned about daughter's progress in school due to her illness. School X is unaffordable on my current salary and @Justallabitblahreally would earn significantly more back in the UK. We're considering whether we need to move back to the UK so she can have more support"

Or

I've informally benchmarked my salary with some of the international recruitment agencies who bring people in from overseas to do my role. I understand that market rates are circa X which is Y above my current salary. In addition there are other benefits like healthcare, private schooling, flights home etc. I'd like to discuss my current package with you as a long standing employee to reevaluate my salary. I'd like to do quite quickly as the situation with daughter has brought home to us that we need to make some changes to give her the educational support she needs which isn't available here without private schooling.

Yes definitely I would ask, they can only say no.

i would probably approach some schools first to obtain costs and enquire about scholarships and bursaries and apply for those as it lots of these schools provide means tested bursaries then you would know what you are short by and could ask him if he’d consider covering the remainder