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I feel so betrayed and hurt by DH

582 replies

Namechange20002 · 25/03/2025 18:56

Have found out tonight that DH has been speaking to his female friend about our sex life, relationship issues, really intimate personal things. I just feel so betrayed, hurt and embarrassed, and I don’t know how to come back from this.

We have three young children and haven’t been having a great deal of sex or intimacy for some time. He’s shared all of this with her, even messaged her: “bought xxx a toy so that she can satisfy herself, this is in the hope that it will help her feel more in the right headspace/mood”

I feel such a deep level of embarrassment and betrayal, I’m such a private person. I would never in a million years share details of our sex life or marriage problems with friends, and I never thought he would have either. Ive honestly never felt betrayed like this, I just don’t know how to move on from this.

OP posts:
FlyingUnicornWings · 25/03/2025 19:08

I’d feel the same as you too.

BakelikeBertha · 25/03/2025 19:07

What an appalling thing to do. It sounds like the age old 'my wife doesn't understand me' ploy. I'd be seriously thinking about whether this marriage is worth continuing in your shoes OP. I am SO sorry.

housemaus · 25/03/2025 19:05

You're not wrong to feel embarrassed and hurt, and if I were you I'd definitely speak to him about what you consider okay to share with friends or not. On the other hand, it seems like what he's doing is processing his feelings/ways to improve your relationship with his friend? Like he's obviously recognised you don't feel in the headspace for having sex and done something about that - unless he is talking about it in a cruel or mocking way I would tell him you'd prefer him not to discuss your sex life with his friends but I wouldn't be angry at him about it. Plenty of people confide in their friends about their relationship and talk through what's happening in it.

AlertCat · 25/03/2025 19:04

How do you know, did he tell you?

FortyElephants · 25/03/2025 19:04

They have crossed about 100 lines here - I guarantee she fancies him whether he reciprocates or not.

AtrociousCircumstance · 25/03/2025 19:03

That’s totally inappropriate, disloyal, and creepy.

OneEdgyScroller · 25/03/2025 19:01

That is such a betrayal of trust. I am so sorry, He has no business sharing that with anyone. Does he know that you know he said that? I cant imagine trsuting DH after this. Really shit.

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