"It's absolutely none of your business"

Apologies, I didn't mean to touch such a nerve and was actually agreeing with you for the most part. I thought you must realise that you aren't being stopped from posting your opinion.

That’s true, but that depends what people are judging. Judging an addict has more chance of making the situation worse for them than influencing anything positive, for instance. A person being ostracised for something that others think is wrong is probably going to sink lower. Sure, most people think, ‘I better not do this because people will judge me’ which is good sometimes, but for many people it just seems to make them more depressed, I doubt they are considering what others will think of them, nor do they care when they’re about to shoot up!

Also if someone is the kind of person to lack morals and disobey the law to drink drive or commit fraud anyway they aren’t going to give a shit what anyone else thinks regardless 😂 They just knock about with like minded people who validate their choices and not give a crap what outsiders think. Sometimes, judgement just makes people reluctant to talk about things that really should be discussed!

I just can’t be bothered to be permanently annoyed about other people’s choices. It’s exhausting and smacks of insecurity a lot of the time.

This is a great example of someone needing to give their view when they know nothing about the subject.

It's extremely well documented how societal attitude change led to a huge decline in drink driving, and a fascinating case study of how behavioural standards are upheld.

YANBU it’s okay to have a different opinion, it’s going to be pretty boring if everyone agrees!

You're deluded if you think common societal opinions don't influence people.

Of course there will be a minority of people who think the unspoken rules don't apply to them or have issues that make it difficult to follow rules but society clearly shapes behaviour in general if not universally.

Exactly, this is my point too. You can think someone makes a stupid decision and sometimes even get angry, but it’s not going to get any better because you’re not in control of it. Judging is mainly about making yourself feel better and more moral. You don’t know what goes on in someone else’s life or head so there’s no real point to it.

You can judge an addict for taking drugs, but you haven’t lived their life and don’t know why, and it’s not going to make any difference to the situation. People just judge because they want to feel better than a ‘scumbag druggy’ or whatever. That’s it.

Calling benefit claimants ‘scroungers’ and dehumanising them is meant to make the person doing the judging feel better about their own life because they are supposedly more moral and hardworking than someone on benefits. I understand the annoyance if they think someone is committing fraud but Joe Public isn’t qualified to make that decision, and your taxes do not reduce as a result of someone being denied benefits, so there is no point getting worked up about what others do. It’s a waste. Live your own life.

Yep!

The ones judging your perceived judginess are so often strident in their own self righteousness.

I'm not trying to catch you out at all. I was initially interested in your first post to post myself. I interpret what I read just like anybody else. You're not interested in my input so I won't waste your time or mine.

Judgement is how we enforce standards of behaviour. It's what made drink driving unacceptable when the law wasn't enough of an incentive.

Drink driving is against the law yet people do it and post about it here. Where do you think judgement makes any sort of difference? I wish it actually did, it would have a point then but people still drink and drive in spite of it. There's no enforcement of standards of behaviour however much people like to think there is - and drink driving really is everyone's business.

OP, I fully agree with you. All the examples you listed actually do affect you - through taxes if nothing else. And this does include poor parenting, because the consequence is awful schools, crime rates etc

The thing is, yes, as you say, anyone is entitled to an opinion, but most of the public are quite ill informed on matters and are just sat behind a keyboard or whatever spouting their unpleasantness without considering any nuance of a situation, that’s what people have a problem with. There’s nothing wrong with a debate or discussion about things, but if you’re going to have a derogatory, ignorant opinion about something, you need to expect push back.

You only have to see on here with the amount of crap that gets posted that people haven’t a bloody clue what they are talking about, and I make a conscious effort not to comment on things on don’t know about.

Just as you’re allowed an opinion, someone else is allowed to hold the opinion that you’re judgemental if that’s their perception of you, and you can’t control that either.

I don’t really care what you ‘find’ about me, that’s up to you isn’t it? 🤣 it has no effect on my life whatsoever so I’m not going to waste any time or energy on it.

As an answer to my post, this is not helpful. You're listing things but not really progressing your argument. Some people want to be involved at all costs (a pathetic kind of FOMO) to the extent that they can't stomach saying nothing, but, at the same time, can't be bothered to put any thought into constructing an interesting or helpful response, so type knee jerk, lazy replies of the sort you've quoted. Like I said, perhaps people shouldn't allow themselves to be shut down by such comments and use it as a springboard to explain better or further their argument.

Ooh I’ve never been called bizarre before , excellent thank you.

I feel we are not allowed to comment or have any opinion on things that go on around us.

No, you just feel you should be able to do that without anybody else commenting on your opinion. That's a you problem.

I don't care if people call me judgemental. I am, as every single one of us is, and on the whole that isn't a bad thing. Judgement is how we enforce standards of behaviour. It's what made drink driving unacceptable when the law wasn't enough of an incentive.

If someone tells you to stop judging just file them away as "dim, probably says #BeKind and has a live, laugh, love decal in their living room" and carry on.

The silencing isn't working then, is it? It's not 'curiosity', it's plain nosiness in many contexts but dress it up as you like. Other posters have given much better examples of where other people's views actually mean something useful.

I gave your posts the benefit of the doubt but it's much clearer now where you're coming from.