Vaguely inspired by Adolesence, but also by a slight family debate ...what time would you let a 14 year old walk home alone?

Mine are still young but it scares me when they become teenagers about being out and about but we do live in quite a high crime area (serious crime). I think in the summer like 8pm at 14 and in the winter I would fetch them. There both girls. When I was a teenager I had no rules so was the 13 year old girl walking the streets late at night and it seems crazy to me now

Really sad that this is even a debate tbh.

No wonder so many young people lack independence and are addicted to screens if they are told that a 20 minute walk through a suburb is too dangerous.

It really depends on the time of year, the area and a myriad of other factors.

I had a variety of pals and differing parenting choices. Some pals parents were in music / advertising in late 80s/early 90s when I was a teen and basically were never in/ had parties so we were able to do as we pleased. Had first spliff with a pals parent and also first spirits at a pals parents party. My parents were religious and had no idea - they thought all parents were the same as them. I was a swot and would work and study hard weekdays and then at weekends from 12/13 go wild. I used to take bloody night used from central London back to richmond - walking for ages thru parks in dark at 2/3/4am at weekends as a school girl to pals parents homes… I know how sneaky kids can be even swots and quiet well behaved kids. I pick my kids up often but more than that, have told them what I got up to and they seem to share a lot, incl where they are going what’s happening - but I know still there is probably a mountain I don’t know as I’m not their peer, I’m their mum. Freedom and self exploration making mistakes is one thing, but also walking in the dark - I pick my girls up (12 & 14.)

Yes completely agree with this, I know what you mean by atmosphere.

I wouldn’t be happy letting my son walk after 7 I think, honestly I’m terrified of other teens and the stories I hear, I worry he’d be a target. Not the best town, neighbourhood is nice, but other areas of the town less so and the groups walk around. DS is in cadets too, wouldn’t dream of letting him walk home, even with his friends.

It’s not so much about being out late with their friends, more about what time you’re happy for them to be out alone at. I have a nearly 18 year old daughter. If she’s out with friends she can be out until the early hours (house party or 24 hour McDonald’s), as long as I know she’s with other people. On her own? Then we would prefer to pick her up once it’s late and dark. We live in a nice area, but still. A young girl was raped recently not too far away. Girls will always be more at risk than boys out on their own when it’s dark and isolated.

In the winter, 6pm.

In the summer, 8pm.

For me, it’s when the atmosphere changes. Families and commuters go inside and older teenagers and drinkers are about.

Where I live, absolutely yes.

At 14 I had to be in by 9pm on school nights, 10pm at weekends. In winter I was generally home earlier but that was by choice rather than by force.

Exactly. I’m very shocked at the responses. No wonder kids are scared to do anything for themselves nowadays.

Grew up in leafy richmond in London. Walking home from school i and friends were followed home. Then, as a teenager, at school, twice, men stopped cars and got out as I was walking home in daylight evenings, asking for directions and then tried to push me/ touch me. I escaped. Moved to east London - nothing ever happened. Now in middle age - live in Sussex - I find it very peaceful and safe. But. My experience as a child has coloured my view that in quiet, affluent areas where some may think it’s all safe cf to inner city areas - mg experience was opposite. As a 12/13 year old living in London I started going out to nightclubs and parties (saying was sleeping over at pals homes - pre mobiles) and my parents never knew at all, so I really know kids can get up to all sorts - even the so called swots like me. So. I’d personally give lifts now and then when daylight and always when dark.

At 14yo I’d pick dd up but that said she started walking the dog on her own in the dark, early evening, in winter from that sort of age so 🤷‍♀️

My 13 year old will be walking home from swimming training tonight at 9pm, like he does three times a week at least. My DS 15 will walk home from about a mile away to be home for 11pm at the weekends. Of course i worry but they'll never grow up if i don't give them space and they'll never learn to risk assess if they never do anything for themselves.

My 16 year old isn't glued to a screen all the time, he's often at football training or the gym, but he's not allowed to wander around the town at night. We pick him up.

What did getting up to no good look like though for you? I would worry that the definition may have changed in recent years.

No.
My children were dropped to the door until University

At that she wasn't walking home in the dark, we're in a greater London borough with an increasing number of muggings.

Where I live I would have allowed my son to walk home at that time at 14. He rarely went anywhere alone as a teenager however as there was always a few of his mates with him. We live in a nice area with lots of people about though so I think it’s different to an inner city area or very remote.

Am I the only one slightly taken aback by all these responses? My DC are still very young. But at 14 I was out every single evening, light, dark, rain, snow. Home by 10 was the only curfew I had which was pretty much the same as my friends.

I know I got up to no good, but I hope that my DC will be out with their friends and doing things on an evening not glued to a screen. Maybe I'll change my mind in a few years though

Mine would all have been travelling home some point between 9/10pm at that age.
London suburbs so we have buses and free travel; no need for walking through parks or alleyways

Mine brought themselves home at 14, on foot or using public transport. Both girls, lived in the suburbs of medium city. They weren’t allowed to cut through the park but otherwise if they were old enough to be out, they were old enough to get themselves home in my opinion

Well my kids grew up in London, l was working so at secondary school in winter they were walking home in dark.
By 14/15 they were walking home at 9/10pm alone sometimes, normally with fiends, obviously l would have met them if they wanted me to.

My DS has sports training that finishes between 8.30 and 9. I let him walk home in the dark when he was 14 but walk is well lit and pretty busy (London Z2).

DS (14) walks home from a youth group at 10pm. About 10 minutes walk. Sometimes with a friend and sometimes not. We are in a suburb of a major city. I think it’s fine.