Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

A meeting is rarely longer than 2 hours. How about if you are somewhere all day or for half a day as many trades people often are at someone's home?

I can’t remember when I last walked out of a meeting to go to the loo.

I go before so I’m ready to attend, and often several of us head to the loo straight after if it’s been a long meeting.

Occasionally if it runs a couple of hours we all take a break “ for a coffee” and the vast majority use that opportunity to go to the loo. Very few people have to duck out in the middle- though of course there are always days of unsettled tummies etc, but it isn’t a general thing. In many professions people generally structure their toilet visits around meetings and I see a tradesman’s house visit as equivalent.

To be honest, 15 years ago I didn’t have tradesmen disappearing to my bathroom for ages ( or even using it really). It’s been smartphones that have precipitated the rise of the 25 minute piss-take-piss.

Her response (as was mine) was to you saying that you never allow workmen at your house to use your toilet.

Jesus, I've heard it all now. You expect tradesman to log off to use the toilet?? Do you log off work to use the toilet?
If a tradesman is doing a job for several hours in my house, then as a fellow human being, he's welcome to use my toilet.

So why not clean up?

If those are the two choices, I think most people would choose the first one.

I'd go for a third option, either he cleans up after himself, or in the absence of a loo brush, he acknowledges the situation and ask for a cleaning product.

No scenario would involve a trip to the bedroom to pick up loo roll instead of looking in bathroom cabinet.

I realise digestive issues can occur unexpectedly from time to time, but I do feel generally that if your job is working in other people’s homes, you need to build offsite toileting into your routine by using transfers between home and job or between jobs, or choosing a public convenience option in breaks. You are in a home to do a job, not as a guest or to use the facilities.

Of course if a person is taken short it’s only kind to let them avail themself of the loo; but this is becoming a sort of perk of the job with tradesmen: disappear for a dump and a bit of a scroll on the phone without logging off or using up your breaks.

He did open a window…. But OP still complained. Poo smells, who knew.

You want him to stick his hand down the toilet with toilet roll? It’s not me with the low standards.

There was loo roll in her bathroom cabinet!! You can use loo roll to clean up! Open a window at the very least. You have some low standards .

How was he supposed to clean up with no loo brush and how was he supposed to clean himself with no toilet roll? I agree it’s an unpleasant situation for all involved.

Its not the using the loo - op have permission. It’s the leaving it in a state and going in her bedroom. It’s stories like this ( I’ve heard a few) that put me off allowing strangers to use my loo. Of course I have sympathy to those who need urgent trips but how does suffering with a bowel condition mean you can not clean up or that you can go into someone’s bedroom,

Yep and I can testify from experience it’s not just men who suffer with ‘needing to shit throughout the working day’. No wonder there’s still so much shame and stigma around these sort of issues.

My 7yo daughter has ulcerative colitis and doesn’t just do her “morning shit” nor do a lot of people with IBS, allergies/intolerances etc.
such ignorance.

Another person who doesn’t understand bowel, bladder and urgency issues.

YANBU OP. He violated boundaries. He needs to be reported and hopefully given some advice on how to treat customers.

This is where you said you don't allow work people to use your toilet. Then later you denied ever saying it 🙄

Not all of them. And it doesn't mean they are not finding you tiresome.

Clearly not as the personal attacks are being deleted.

I'm sure you can email them and express your concern for their time management moderating posts.

Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? Many of the posts are not personal attacks but disagreeing with your perspective. Mumsnet HQ will probably be getting very fed up with your constant reporting

Personal attacks.
Ad hominem.

Reported for what? You keep reporting people for absolutely nothing. Your stance does lack empathy and humanity. Whether you like it or not. And this is a public discussion forum where you put your stance out there so quite rightly I have stated my opinion. None ofy business indeed 🤣

Sounds like a medical condition. Urgency to go and being in there for 20 mins. Could explain the grumpiness too. Might have had some stomach gripes going on. Probably IBS.

Sometimes people just need to go that minute. You have no idea if someone has IBS or any other type of bowel or bladder disorder. I myself, need to go very urgently and suddenly.
Of course no one has a right to use your toilet and you're perfectly entitled to refuse their request. That's obvious. However, if someone's in my house abd desperately needs the loo, I'm not going to refuse. It's a small act of human decency.