Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

their place of work is the place they are working. If you are a tradesperson of course that changes on a daily basis.

It’s your choice of course. This is AIBU - we debate whether peoples choices are reasonable. In my opinion your choices wildly unreasonable.

So they have over 900 work places?

Then OP shouldn't let him use the toilet as BT will no doubt supply him their own in his work place.

Because they only work there every few years. It’s the place they work- their work place- when they work there.

Seeing as they've accused me of being a liar I don't see it as arguing for the sake of it.

This whole thread is full of you and others making personal attacks and arguing because of something I (and others) choose to allow or disallow in our homes.

It's my choice. It's their choice. It's your choice.

Sounds like he may have ibs or some other bowel condition. Or maybe he just a bad curry the night before! If you’ve not got a toilet brush in your bathroom then you’re basically asking for skid marks to be left in the loo.

If you’ve ever visited a student house occupied by young guys, then you’ll know that that they can be pretty blind when it comes to mess. Not everyone is brought up in a pristine tidy home and sees mess the way that you do. I would just let it go. It’s not like you ever have to see him again once the job is done.

If my home or OP's home is the BT engineer's place of work why do they only turn up once every few years?

You must be very fucking lucky with your internet if BT are only coming to you every few years

If my home or OP's home is the BT engineer's place of work why do they only turn up once every few years?

You are just being argumentative for the sake of it.
PP was referring to the fact that you said you don’t let workmen use your toilet.
As you know.

Eh?

You said I don't allow workspeople to enter my home. Where did I say that?

Where are they supposed to go? In a bush? Public toilets are available some places but few and far between these days. Honestly what kind of society to we live in where people begrudge others the ability to go to the toilet!!

So they only work once every few years?

This is where you said you don't allow work people to use your toilet. Then later you denied ever saying it 🙄

@user9632579 it’s their place of work- its the location where they perform their job/ tasks you hired them for. They are humans and likely to need the toilet at some point during the working day. It is totally unacceptable to deny someone facilities to relieve a basic , universal , bodily function / need when you have facilities there on site.

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

Do you lock your workmen in for the day? In that case, you really do have to let them use your loo.

A meeting is rarely longer than 2 hours. How about if you are somewhere all day or for half a day as many trades people often are at someone's home?

Once again though you are referring to the ‘average person’ for whom an hour meeting probably wouldn’t require a toilet break. Not everyone is the average person.

For many years I’ve suffered with IBS which is as much linked to anxiety as much as physical issues. Work meetings were a major trigger for me because I knew how weird and noticeable and unprofessional it would look if I got up to use the loo so this invariably set off my anxiety which made me need to go more. It’s a vicious cycle. The same would happen on long car journeys or anywhere new when I didn’t know where the nearest loo was. It was so debilitating to me for so long. I missed out on a lot of things because of it. And because of attitudes displayed on this thread I never felt able to talk to anyone about it other than my closest family and friends. I used to sit in meetings looking perfectly normal but being a massive ball of anxiety inside thinking I was on the verge of shitting myself, it was horrible.

Im not saying this is the case for the BT engineer. Who knows. But things like this are real and they do affect more people than you’d think. I’m not excusing him making a mess or being rude but the panic that sets in when you’re in that situation is very difficult and I really can’t imagine ever wanting to knowingly make another human feel like that by denying them access to a toilet.

I can’t remember when I last walked out of a meeting to go to the loo.

I go before so I’m ready to attend, and often several of us head to the loo straight after if it’s been a long meeting.

Occasionally if it runs a couple of hours we all take a break “ for a coffee” and the vast majority use that opportunity to go to the loo. Very few people have to duck out in the middle- though of course there are always days of unsettled tummies etc, but it isn’t a general thing. In many professions people generally structure their toilet visits around meetings and I see a tradesman’s house visit as equivalent.

To be honest, 15 years ago I didn’t have tradesmen disappearing to my bathroom for ages ( or even using it really). It’s been smartphones that have precipitated the rise of the 25 minute piss-take-piss.

They don’t have the right to use a customer’s loo. It’s not their workplace. If it were, BT would pay us to maintain our loos.

I can’t remember when I last walked out of a meeting to go to the loo.

I go before so I’m ready to attend, and often several of us head to the loo straight after if it’s been a long meeting.

Occasionally if it runs a couple of hours we all take a break “ for a coffee” and the vast majority use that opportunity to go to the loo. Very few people have to duck out in the middle- though of course there are always days of unsettled tummies etc, but it isn’t a general thing. In many professions people generally structure their toilet visits around meetings and I see a tradesman’s house visit as equivalent.

To be honest, 15 years ago I didn’t have tradesmen disappearing to my bathroom for ages ( or even using it really). It’s been smartphones that have precipitated the rise of the 25 minute piss-take-piss.

A meeting is rarely longer than 2 hours. How about if you are somewhere all day or for half a day as many trades people often are at someone's home?