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Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

718 replies

DontGoChasinWaterfalls · 25/03/2025 16:10

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

OP posts:
foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 22:33

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 22:26

Who doesn't have genuine IBS?

Well IBS is a very broad spectrum hence why it’s used to ring fence a massive range of digestive issues that can’t be attributed to any other diagnosis. People who struggle daily with symptoms wouldn’t be able to work if they stayed home all the time would they?

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 22:30

JenniferBooth · 30/03/2025 22:29

Yep I have to take Imodium like bloody smarties. Even had to take precautionary dose the night before my dads funeral

Me too.

When it's not controlled I remain home.

JenniferBooth · 30/03/2025 22:29

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 22:24

Absolutely untrue. I said someone with genuine IBS wouldn’t be able to work if they stayed home every time they had a flare up. I never once said you don’t have it. I’d ask you to quote it but you’ve had that many of my posts removed now you probably won’t be able to find the original comment.
You are trying to silence people who have a different view point to you.

Yep I have to take Imodium like bloody smarties. Even had to take precautionary dose the night before my dads funeral

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 22:26

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 22:24

Absolutely untrue. I said someone with genuine IBS wouldn’t be able to work if they stayed home every time they had a flare up. I never once said you don’t have it. I’d ask you to quote it but you’ve had that many of my posts removed now you probably won’t be able to find the original comment.
You are trying to silence people who have a different view point to you.

Who doesn't have genuine IBS?

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 22:24

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 22:02

You didn't. Foxxy did.

Absolutely untrue. I said someone with genuine IBS wouldn’t be able to work if they stayed home every time they had a flare up. I never once said you don’t have it. I’d ask you to quote it but you’ve had that many of my posts removed now you probably won’t be able to find the original comment.
You are trying to silence people who have a different view point to you.

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 22:02

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 30/03/2025 22:01

I have never accused you of lying about your medical conditions. I have said to you that they are not an excuse for basic unkindness to others

You didn't. Foxxy did.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 30/03/2025 22:01

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 21:02

It's a personal attack to call someone names and accuse them of lying about medical conditions.

I have never accused you of lying about your medical conditions. I have said to you that they are not an excuse for basic unkindness to others

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 21:03

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 30/03/2025 20:49

I agree. I have had many of my legitimate posts deleted too as a personal attack. Actually I wasn't making personal attacks but was stating a different viewpoint. The other poster is entitled to their viewpoint but equally, so are we.

Indeed. As long as your posts adhere to the talk guidelines.
With your deleted post hq attach a link to their talk guidelines, take a read through if you're interested.

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 21:02

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 20:07

It isn’t a personal attack to disagree with someone. I think your attitude towards other people is horrible and if you think getting MN to delete every one of my posts is valid then that’s very sad. You seem very steadfast in your views which is your prerogative but silencing others isn’t very fair.

It's a personal attack to call someone names and accuse them of lying about medical conditions.

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 21:01

Tandora · 30/03/2025 19:59

speaking as someone with IBS this absolutely would not work for me.

Ok and?

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 30/03/2025 20:49

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 20:07

It isn’t a personal attack to disagree with someone. I think your attitude towards other people is horrible and if you think getting MN to delete every one of my posts is valid then that’s very sad. You seem very steadfast in your views which is your prerogative but silencing others isn’t very fair.

I agree. I have had many of my legitimate posts deleted too as a personal attack. Actually I wasn't making personal attacks but was stating a different viewpoint. The other poster is entitled to their viewpoint but equally, so are we.

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 20:07

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 19:20

You clearly accused me of not having genuine IBS and you and others keep making personal attacks.

You can discuss things without getting heated and attacking posters.

It isn’t a personal attack to disagree with someone. I think your attitude towards other people is horrible and if you think getting MN to delete every one of my posts is valid then that’s very sad. You seem very steadfast in your views which is your prerogative but silencing others isn’t very fair.

Tandora · 30/03/2025 19:59

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 17:05

Thank you. If I am having diarrhoea I take Imodium and Mebeverine. If it's uncontrolled I do not leave the house as I'm unwell.

speaking as someone with IBS this absolutely would not work for me.

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 19:20

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 19:09

can @mnhqtell me why all my perfectly rational posts on this thread keep getting removed?

You clearly accused me of not having genuine IBS and you and others keep making personal attacks.

You can discuss things without getting heated and attacking posters.

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 19:09

can @mnhqtell me why all my perfectly rational posts on this thread keep getting removed?

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OK and?

foxxxxy · 30/03/2025 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MyDarlingClementine · 30/03/2025 17:23

I'm just imagining him mid flow needing another roll.
Op it' didn't sound nice and I can understand why you feel he had crossed boundaries of All sorts in your home. However I didn't understand the towel comment and straight towels it not something I would ever notice in my house

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 17:05

JenniferBooth · 30/03/2025 16:14

Wow You can control your IBS to that extent Im impressed. Whats your secret because the rest of us with this condition would love to know

Thank you. If I am having diarrhoea I take Imodium and Mebeverine. If it's uncontrolled I do not leave the house as I'm unwell.

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 17:04

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 30/03/2025 14:13

Because your work situation is different. You flyer so you go to the doors of multiple properties. Unless you now have a different job, you are not based inside one property for any length of time so your job isn't the same in the slightest. I also wouldn't ask to use the toilet if I was flyering but if I was a plumber, an engineer etc then I would.

No no. I told you of one job.
I've also worked in people's houses. Never requested to use the toilet.

JenniferBooth · 30/03/2025 16:14

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 13:03

Sure thing. I never request to use others' toilets aside from when I'm a guest.

Wow You can control your IBS to that extent Im impressed. Whats your secret because the rest of us with this condition would love to know

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 30/03/2025 14:13

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 13:03

Sure thing. I never request to use others' toilets aside from when I'm a guest.

Because your work situation is different. You flyer so you go to the doors of multiple properties. Unless you now have a different job, you are not based inside one property for any length of time so your job isn't the same in the slightest. I also wouldn't ask to use the toilet if I was flyering but if I was a plumber, an engineer etc then I would.

user9632579 · 30/03/2025 13:03

MidnightMeltdown · 29/03/2025 18:55

There is no obligation no, but most people would consider it basic manners to allow someone in your home to use the toilet if required.

Treat others as you would wish to be treated and all that.

Sure thing. I never request to use others' toilets aside from when I'm a guest.

BadlyDrawnRoy · 29/03/2025 19:44

MidnightMeltdown · 29/03/2025 18:55

There is no obligation no, but most people would consider it basic manners to allow someone in your home to use the toilet if required.

Treat others as you would wish to be treated and all that.

Absolutely, treat others as you would wish to be treated. That includes not leaving the olfactory evidence of a really smelly shit, and a skidmatk the size of a Mars bar stuck on the inside of the bog. And don't rummage in someone else's cupboards 👍

BadlyDrawnRoy · 29/03/2025 19:39

As soon as the poo event took place, he'd have been gone. Disrespectful tradesmen have no right to be in your home. Complain to BT (if you can get someone to answer the phone 😂).