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Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

718 replies

DontGoChasinWaterfalls · 25/03/2025 16:10

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

OP posts:
sandrapinchedmysandwich · 31/03/2025 13:31

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 13:26

I'm a dog person 😁.....

I'll ban myself.

Take care.

Hahaha I am a both person so we can still be friends. Lager or wine though or are you more classy and require a posh cocktail?

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 13:26

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 31/03/2025 13:02

Cats are the boss of everything. Even toilets probably

I'm a dog person 😁.....

I'll ban myself.

Take care.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 31/03/2025 13:02

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 12:54

For the record, I didn't bring cats into this, I would never. I'm fully aware cats are a protected species on here and should never be disrespected by people like me.

Cats are the boss of everything. Even toilets probably

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 31/03/2025 13:01

user9632579 · 31/03/2025 11:31

Totally agree. What really strengthened it for me was when I had workmen at my home and I was in a hotel (unable to stay at home due to leak) I came back to shit smeared on the walls and toilet rolls. It was disgusting. I have OCD and it took me about 8 hours to clean the bathroom, it was awful. So since then I have to politely refuse.

You know you would have probably received more understanding responses if you had just said this earlier. At least your stance is coming from a place of experience rather than just being awkward. I still don't think you should tar every work person with the same brush, but it's more understandable why you might be reluctant.

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 12:54

For the record, I didn't bring cats into this, I would never. I'm fully aware cats are a protected species on here and should never be disrespected by people like me.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 31/03/2025 12:40

MoonWoman69 · 31/03/2025 12:30

Oh hell I did... Ducking down now for fear of flying retorts! 🤣
All people welcome to fiddle with my laminater... Cats especially... Oh, now I've gone "ist"... 🤣

Cats? Did you say cats? I am always down if there are cats involved

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 12:37

Use the cats as a feline shield and break the internet why don't you.

This thread has been a tonic this morning. Thanks for all those with a smidge of humour and silliness.

MoonWoman69 · 31/03/2025 12:30

Oh hell I did... Ducking down now for fear of flying retorts! 🤣
All people welcome to fiddle with my laminater... Cats especially... Oh, now I've gone "ist"... 🤣

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 12:20

MoonWoman69 · 31/03/2025 12:14

I've got a laminator, unlimited sheets, not hidden in a wardrobe, available to all! Come on ladies, I've got my coat on, let's pub it!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Did you just assume our gender MoonWoman69??? You're playing a dangerous game on here 😉😂

MoonWoman69 · 31/03/2025 12:14

I've got a laminator, unlimited sheets, not hidden in a wardrobe, available to all! Come on ladies, I've got my coat on, let's pub it!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Isxmasoveryet · 31/03/2025 11:58

So your precious about carpets and don't keep toilet roll in your bathroom how is this the poor man's fault I don't get it he didn't lay Ur carpets or hide Ur toilet roll away

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 11:57

No to Nuce's ( totally made that movement up but if anyone wants to join, drop a message in the old inbox and we can meet outside the nearest government building immediately )

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 11:52

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:50

Wot?!

😁

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:50

Wot?!

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 11:47

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MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 11:46

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MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 11:46

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user9632579 · 31/03/2025 11:45

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:42

Also when you go into shops ( and I’m not meaning Costa type spots or garden centres or supermarkets) many of them won’t let customers use the loo - even for very little people who understandably have not learnt the art of pacing and planning ahead. It’s a commercial relationship. I’m not really sure it’s that different if the commercial transaction takes place in your home not your shop.

Absolutely. If you aren't a customer you can't use their facilities akin to sitting inside a restaurant with food from somewhere else.

And then theres places where toilets are only to be used by staff and not customers.

McDonald's also tend to close toilets at X time of night because people go in and take the piss quite literally.

I saw a video yesterday of needles being found in Five Guys toilets, yuck!

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:42

Also when you go into shops ( and I’m not meaning Costa type spots or garden centres or supermarkets) many of them won’t let customers use the loo - even for very little people who understandably have not learnt the art of pacing and planning ahead. It’s a commercial relationship. I’m not really sure it’s that different if the commercial transaction takes place in your home not your shop.

user9632579 · 31/03/2025 11:42

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:37

Well it sounds as though op’s worker also left the sort of mess I cannot imagine any of my friends leaving - and perhaps that’s what it comes down to: they don’t care what you think or how you feel because they don’t have a proper relationship with you.

I once walked into my bathroom to find a plumber taking a stand up pee in our loo with the door wide open. It was awful. Not one of my friends would do that.

🤢

That's gross but I agree. It's akin to how people treat public loos vs their ones at home. There's a tenancy to think "not my toilet not my problem."

My family would never leave my toilet in a state as

  1. We share the same hygeine levels and 2. They'd be embarrassed.
i guess if it's a stranger's toilet whom you'll likely never see again then it makes it easier.

Re leaving the door open that's so inappropriate and I wouldn't be surprised if misogyny plays a part.

MarioLink · 31/03/2025 11:39

Shoe covers are annoying. He didn't mean to be late or jam your door. There should be spare toilet rolls visible in the bathroom in case people need them - we have a caddy by each toilet that holds four spare rolls. He got caught short and should have cleaned up better but may have been a bit panicked. I would get over and not complain.

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:37

user9632579 · 31/03/2025 11:31

Totally agree. What really strengthened it for me was when I had workmen at my home and I was in a hotel (unable to stay at home due to leak) I came back to shit smeared on the walls and toilet rolls. It was disgusting. I have OCD and it took me about 8 hours to clean the bathroom, it was awful. So since then I have to politely refuse.

Well it sounds as though op’s worker also left the sort of mess I cannot imagine any of my friends leaving - and perhaps that’s what it comes down to: they don’t care what you think or how you feel because they don’t have a proper relationship with you.

I once walked into my bathroom to find a plumber taking a stand up pee in our loo with the door wide open. It was awful. Not one of my friends would do that.

user9632579 · 31/03/2025 11:31

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:27

Yes I feel uncomfortable about that too. I tend to prepare for it, and would let them if asked, however I think it’s good manners if working in someone’s home in a professional capacity to try to take your toileting elsewhere. I’ve mentioned above the workmen we use who have never even asked - but they are from a slightly older generation. It’s certainly quite possible.

Totally agree. What really strengthened it for me was when I had workmen at my home and I was in a hotel (unable to stay at home due to leak) I came back to shit smeared on the walls and toilet rolls. It was disgusting. I have OCD and it took me about 8 hours to clean the bathroom, it was awful. So since then I have to politely refuse.

Calliopespa · 31/03/2025 11:27

user9632579 · 31/03/2025 11:24

No need to apologise. I was referring to people I don't know who are here to do xyz.

Yes I feel uncomfortable about that too. I tend to prepare for it, and would let them if asked, however I think it’s good manners if working in someone’s home in a professional capacity to try to take your toileting elsewhere. I’ve mentioned above the workmen we use who have never even asked - but they are from a slightly older generation. It’s certainly quite possible.

MyJoyousBiscuit · 31/03/2025 11:26

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