Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

Someone took a dump in your toilet.

It's hardly the end of the world.

THIS. ^ You're not over-reacting @DontGoChasinWaterfalls How fucking dare he just invite himself upstairs, then root about in your bedroom for loo rolls?

And it is quite common for men to spend ages in the loo (fuck knows why!) but for a tradesman to spend 20 minutes in a customer's bathroom, that's taking the fucking piss. Report him. First thing tomorrow. (Moreso for the entering your bedroom and rifling through the wardrobe. God knows what else he mooched through!) 😱

I know it's laughed at and mocked on here, but this one bloke/tradie came to fix a handle on one of our windows once - a half hour job max, and half way through it, he said 'can I use the loo?' (Downstairs one.) We said 'yes.' He was in there 10 minutes, and he had a shit, and it smelt like a fucking elephant house in there when he came out. I felt so sick as the smell wandered through the house. He didn't bat an eyelid and carried on the job. I had to go into the garden for the rest of the time he was in the house. (Another 20-25 minutes.) DH stayed in but kept popping out, with a face like this >>> 😖

We put 4 incense sticks on when he left, sprayed air freshener in every room, opened every window, and flushed the loo 7 or 8 times, and put bleach in the loo, as there was shit stains in the bottom. 😖 Fucking disgusting bastard. There was a pub 5 minutes walk away, and public loos 10 minutes walk away, but no, he had to drop his stinky load in our loo.

I mean fair enough for you to feel how you feel but it wouldn’t upset me that much. I assume he just saw the toilet paper and didn’t think it was a problem. He shouldn’t have left a mess though.

Request someone new and try to put it behind you.

It’s weird but I think slightly exaggerated since Open reach do not give timed appts, it’s am or pm.

Violated ? No, you haven't been violated, 🙄

I would definitely call and complain…I would not normally do that but he needs to understand boundaries. Virgin engineers always come with shoe covers and most are very good in my experience.

Why do you keep your loo roll in the wardrobe? Isn't there any in the actual toilet?
As for the shoe cover thing, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. You have a hoover, presumably?
I find it hard to believe so many tradesmen decide to open their bowels in a customer's house, and fail to clean up after themselves. Is it a Mumsnet thing?

The poor bloke probably has some kind of medical condition. people are going to have to get a lot more tolerant of this over the next few years

There’s your answer!

No good ever came from avoiding the loo brush. You reap what you sow.

This sounds very weird.
How do you know he rooted through the wardrobe?
Everything except that sounds reasonable, he needed the toilet, he huffed a bit when putting on shoe covers, he accidently jammed a lock.. this is hardly the actions of a phsychopath.
The rooting through your wardrobe though, did he root through or was the loo paper visible and he disnt want to scream down stairs.. 'I need a bog roll as you havent left any and I have done a massive shit'

It doesnt sound like an ideal encounter but you don't know if he has bowel issues, maybe he cant help when he has to go to to the loo??

I would request another engineer if you are unhappy with him and think if he did in fact root through the wardrobe, or if he grabbed some bog roll that was visible to save embarressment.

This thread is weird, why is everyone falling over themselves to defend a dirty man who appears to have no manners or knowledge of basic toilet etiquette. Of course ring up and say you want a different engineer and give your feedbaxk

Exactly this.
Perhaps if people are so aggrieved by tradesmen using their facilities for the sole purpose they were designed for then maybe they should do their own home improvements.

So one tradesperson leaving skids in your bowl once is justification for refusing a basic level of dignity and respect to all visitors to your house for all time? Bloody mental.

Do these people also object to family and friends using their loos, or is it just the sheer temerity of a manual worker thinking they are good enough to shit in the same place as them that offends them?

It's no different (worse maybe) to Lords and Ladies of the past insisting that their servants turn and face the wall and pretend not to exist anytime their 'superiors' entered a room.

Madness.

I mean in the same situation I wouldn’t ask for someone else. But I guess the point is that some of you his behaviours made you uncomfortable. So if you feel strongly you don’t want to see him again then ask. I wouldn’t expect the next person to be on time though.

Who the hell leaves a bathroom in that state.

But you have a baby?

I understand why you feel uncomfortable with his behaviour. Imagine if he was in the house of a vulnerable adult, he was unprofessional and as someone said crossed boundaries. If there was something innocent to it all, then an apology or explanation would have been offered. I’d ring and report the behaviour.

I can understand why you are upset about him going into your bedroom but if he needed the loo urgently and there was insufficient loo roll in there then I don’t know what else he could have done. It’s an unpleasant situation for everyone involved and I wouldn’t be happy about it but if you want work doing in your home then you have to realise that these people have bodily functions too.

The bit about shoe coverings sounds plausible, and sounds like he was making a bit of a fuss as surely most engineers ask about keeping shoes on or not in someone's home. The toilet situation seems rather odd and I am not sure I fully believe this. Where is your bathroom? As it seems odd that they would then go walking around to get to a wardrobe in your bedroom. I don't know anyone who stores toilet roll in their wardrobe in a bedroom so why would they even know to go and look here?
I do think of someone is doing work for a few hours then they are likely going to need to use the loo at some point so you are being unfair to think this is wrong.
Requesting another engineer may mean you have to wait, so I would just grin and bear it. Do you have a friend who could come round to be with you if you are feeling uncomfortable?

Perhaps they’ve had experiences like the OP of mess and disrespect.

Yes request someone else. I agree with other posters. He sounds rude and lazy. If openreach ask why you don’t want him tell them, say he was late and did not acknowledge this. That he was very reluctant to cover his outdoor shoes in your home. That he almost damaged your door lock. Then he went into your bedroom. Completely unacceptable.