Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

Because of OTHER posters attitudes and expectations that people can shit to a timetable.

Exactly this.

The OP did not deny the man the use of her loo. So why are people going on about this and medical conditions?

Do medical conditions stop you from clearing up after yourself? And mean you need to go in someone’s bedroom and have a rifle through their wardrobe?

Him being 36 minutes late or whatever is annoying but things like this will happen as appointment times will run over and thats just life. I suppose you could have turned him away if you'd needed to be somewhere and have them come back another time.

Him jarring the lock or whatever he did- annoying but nothing major, I guess you have a faulty latch?

Him being huffy about the shoe covers would have annoyed me. I don't think I've ever had a work man come in without offering to remove shoes or put a cover on. They usually bring them themselves too. They should be respectful as it's your home.

The toilet situation is not ideal either. Him running upstairs without your consent isn't right, and I would have been annoyed at this.
I would have let any workman use the toilet but inviting themselves upstairs where I was wouldn't sit right with me. There needed to be consent of you agreeing to letting him go upstairs and him using your bathroom. Saying that clearly he did need a massive shit based on what he left for you to clean up. He could have potentially have a bowel issue and literally couldn't hold it.

The toilet paper situation is bit of a non issue too, since he'd already taken a massive dump and ran out of toilet paper, I suppose him grabbing a roll from your wardrobe that was left open isn't unreasonable of him at that point.

To be upset he didn't straighten out the hand towel or the bathroom rug is just silly of you though.

I'd ask for someone else based on what you've said.

@Poppins21an awful lot of assumptions there. Unfortunately people generally don’t walk around with their conditions tattooed on their forehead so in the spirit of being a decent human I would just allow someone to use my toilet if they asked for it.

Saves them pissing in the sink too.

And lots of people don’t have medical conditions. I always offer people the loo in my house if they are doing work but I would be horrified if someone took a piss in my sink. The chances are the guy didn’t have a medical condition and he was just a disrespectful arse. And the garden would have been a better place than in the sink!

Do you really think someone would use the toilet paper in the loo , finish the roll, hen have a shit then think i've no loo roll left to wipe my arse so i'll venture out into a strangers house with their trousers and pants around their ankle thinking if they search around a bit they will find some loo roll somewhere in the house?

that sounds utter bat shit.

I am not outraged at young man going into an older females bathroom for a basic human right more outraged at those posters who would deny him that. I can’t remember the tv show but remember seeing a clip where a young actress going for auditions couldn’t get to a toilet.I think she had crohns. It is very powerful. Please have empathy. He might be just as intimidated by you which is why he wasn’t quick. Who knows?

@Poppins21are you aware that some people have medical conditions that mean they can’t simply ’hold it’?

It always amazes me the sheer level of ignorance on these threads. Like needing the toilet is a disgusting or disrespectful act. No wonder people feel so ashamed about bowel and bladder issues. I have suffered with both in the past and my worst nightmare would be to be stuck in a situation where someone was deliberately withholding access to a toilet from me.

Would I piss in their sink? Probably not. I’d probably have an accident though. Neither would be pretty. Hence why sometimes it’s nice to show a bit of humanity to people.

Is your bathroom an ensuite?

Not take a piss in the sink. I would expect him to hold it and then find a supermarket or public loo.

I think this is a bit of a stretch. Being able to maliciously shit on demand is a skill I’d have thought.

God this thread is so strange. Yes poor guy having to put shoe covers on….

How many of the 40 minutes involved this poor guy having to remove and replace these blue shoe covers while he went in a out of your house, OP?!

Also, you mentioned (twice) that you buy your toilet rolls from Costco. Are the shoe covers also from Costco?

Edited as I realised you weren’t talking to the OP.

She did let him go to the toilet but with the other poster it is a different situation.

So where did you expect him to go if you wouldn’t let him in the toilet? I can’t believe some people are so petty.

lol the air freshener bottle knocked over. What a calamity

clickbait title

Sounds horrible, YANBU, very cheeky attitude in your home, I get how you feel.

I think you are over reacting and obviously do not like men in your home. You do not have a baby crawling and even if you did you can use a hoover after they leave.

I don’t manage these types of situations that well and try to avoid them but that’s because I have actually been attacked and sexually assaulted in the past and suffered dv and I have ptsd.

whenever I read posts like this I always stop to think do the OP’s not realise what it actually feels like if you have been attacked?

Has OP said she refused? She has said he left it in a mess.

I’m struggling to see what was “precious and cruel” about OPs behaviour.

THIS! So glad someone has said it. Of course there's no excuse for leaving it in a state assuming toilet brush and bleach are there, but I've always found it incredibly precious and actually quite cruel to refuse to let someone use the loo. If you have OCD that's different but I might put that on the form so they know (and can both go in advance, and not make you feel bad by asking).

I let workmen use the toilet. Yes.
It was during COVID, of course he wanted to work alone in the kitchen. I don't get the bit where he was rude and aggressive, but maybe she's left details out.

That reminds me of an old neighbour who had some tradesmen come in to do something in the kitchen. She had a camera and caught them each taking a piss in the kitchen sink and laughing about it.

Would you allow a rude and aggressive stranger to come upstairs in your house while you are alone with a child?