To be a little bit sad I can't ever marry

My mum married my lovely stepdad when she'd spent decades paying off the house and buying my dad out when they divorced, so in her will it states her DC get the house but my stepdad has life rights to live there til he dies. Marriage doesn't mean signing away all DC right and inheritance.

This exactly, and make the solicitor the executor of the will / trustee of the life interest, that has a cost implication but means the wishes will be followed and any life interest overseen by a professional.

This is crazy you don’t exist just to leave your children an inheritance you brought them up that is enough. You could choose to spend every last penny. I tell my parents all the time that they earnt it and I hope they spend it doing things they enjoy. I don’t expect anything and neither should your kids.

Why would a piece of paper make your relationship any better?

I don’t see the point in getting married if the relationship is going well.

And why not both buy a small place together and rent your properties out.
Then your DD will still definitely inherit the property and you and him get to live together.

The simplest thing today is to insure yourself up to the hilt.
My children get 1,000,000 to split between themselves for the life Insurance alone and then anything else is a pure bonus so they won’t care about the house by that point. They’ll take their cash which will be paid out within 30 days of the death certificate assuming there’s no foul play.

Liquid assets are best when it comes to inheritance

I do not understand the problem here at all.

If you had been married to your children’s father their whole lives he’d also get your property upon your death…why is this any different? Everyone has to wait for both their parents to die before they inherit. Yes your partner isn’t your kids Dad but it’s the same situation.

Unless you are 85 and about it pop it any day but your partner is 20, then I really don’t get the drama. You’ll likely outlive him as a woman anyway assuming you are roughly the same age.

My Dad died at 70 and his 60 year old widow inherited his house (she’s not my Mum). I couldn’t care less. She was the love of his love. She’s destroyed without him. She cared for him as his dementia slowly eroded him. She deserves that house. I can wait. Your kids are already adults and so will be well and truly into adulthood when you die (hopefully) so I doubt they are sitting around, twiddling their thumbs awaiting and inheritance.

Descendants not defendants 😂

Doesn't he have his own money and property OP?
He's never been married no DC what on earth has he done with his income? If he has his own money then you don't have to worry about him being left anything of yours . I am wondering if he's a potential cock
Lodger tbh .

Yes, unless the will is clearly made in anticipation of getting married soon, it is invalidated by a future marriage.

You have a right to live your life, too. It's your money until you die. And the "children" upset that their late mum's partner is in "their" house are no worse off financially than they were when their mother was alive. They just assumed they'd get an insta-inheritance; in reality the mum could have left it all to the partner, or given it to charity, or spent it without telling anyone and left debt when she died. In any case, entitlement is usually distasteful.

Thanks for the accurate info.
If I wrote a will, didn’t put I was intending to marry but later married would the will be invalid?
( not going to happen but I’m just interested.)

But it was their parent's money. And that parent would have wanted it to go to their own children eventually, not some random person they never met. Surely you can understand that.

Not if made in anticipation of a marriage.

I think you are prioritising completely the wrong parts of life here. Do you think the person now passed away in question here regrets their many years of happily married life because checks notes their elderly husband could not maintain the house to the standard that makes it financially at its peak!?

Or, quite rightly, do you think this woman enjoyed her life to the fullest with her chosen partner and though is now sadly passed and whatever is leftover or available for defendants is the correct amount following a life well lived?

It's not the children's money. They're not entitled to it. It belongs to the surviving parent and it's up to them how they account for it.

They can piss it away, they might need to use it for care costs, they can leave it to charity, they can make sure their current partner is looked after, it's theirs to decide.

You can marry him, if you want to. You can legally protect your assets and leave whatever you want to whoever you want.

You've decided it's too much hassle, so actually you probably don't really want to marry him. If you did, you'd do the paperwork involved.

I'm not saying otherwise.

But that shouldn't entail the estate of a parent who died decades ago ending up being used to support their surviving spouse's new partner rather than their own children.

If you marry, you're supposed to look out for each other. Cos you, like, love each other. A bold concept, I know.

You also have legal obligations to each other.

Not everyone meets their partner in late middle age, but even if they do, when you get married you tend to combine your finances to some extend - it's partly what marriage is. So depending what happens, the spouse may or not be able to support themselves as a single person after a long relationship comes to an end. They may also have extra needs themselves by then.
I hate the thought of a spouse being someone who should be wheeled in to fulfil certain functions then cease to exist when no longer needed. It's no fun caring for a partner who is seriously ill or slowly dying, which is what being the surviving spouse often entails.
If it is possible for a parent to arrange things so that their DC can inherit a good chunk of their assets, then that's great, but it shouldn't be the benchmark for a successful late marriage.

In which case they were very silly.

An adult should always try to provide for themselves.

My mum and Stepdad got married but never lived together, kept all finances separate etc.

They both kept their own houses, and would spend a few nights at his, a few nights at hers, the occasional night apart.

It worked well for them and meant there were no issues after she died around inheritance.

Might have sold up and spent the money on cruises and the good life (or living costs and repairs/upgrades) with their spouse over the time they lived together on the agreement they'd be looked after in the event of death.

You can get married, you have just created a nonsensical long winded excuse as to why it might possibly be slightly more inconvenient for your children as adults if they are not able to turn their parent's elderly widow onto the street.

Actually, although the "you're not entitled to inherit anything, stop being so grabby" crowd will come out in force, you'll generally get more posters agreeing that it's very unfair to see your parents' money all go to a step parent or step siblings, but unfortunately if your parent has chosen not to provide for you in their will, there's nothing you can do about it.