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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to stay in bed all day

37 replies

Morporkia · 25/03/2025 13:26

For the last 5 years my DHs 20 year chronic condition has been one flare up after another. He is finally on biologics and is feeling better than he has in years.

Over those 5 years I've lost my DM, gone fully NC with my father, had extended family bereavements, DDs relationship dramas, DSs illnesses, my menopause and all the life/house chores and admin.

Today DH has gone out with one of his friends (still not well enough to drive, or walk too far, but wants to go see another of his friends in next town). This is literally the first time he's left the house in months.
And I don't want to get up. It's 1.25pm and I'm still in bed. He'll be back about 4. Obviously I'll get up and cook when he returns but I'm lying here feeling bad for being so lazy.
Aibu or am I justified in wanting a complete break from my life just for 1 day

OP posts:
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ScottBakula · 25/03/2025 21:47

It sounds lime you both had a great day.
I am really glad your DH had a good time with his pals , hopefully he will be able to go out a bit more often with them and you can have another much deserved duvet day.
Your dd sounds really caring , you have obviously brought her up very well.

MadKittenWoman · 25/03/2025 18:25

You are an adult and you can do what you want. Flowers

Original poster
Morporkia · 25/03/2025 16:02

DH got back about half an hour ago. He's had a lovely day with 2 of his friends. He's tired, but not exhausted. He's been chatting away, telling me all the gossip.. some of it VERY juicy 🤣 I'm now out of bed. But still in my comfies. DD left the pie in the oven, bread in the cupboard and she bought LURPAK. I love her so much. She's my favourite daughter (I can say that, I have 1 of each) and even tidied up after herself (its a miracle). All I need to do is pop the oven on, butter the bread and put our dirty plates in the dishwasher.
The only fly in the ointment is the arrival of the feckin council tax bill.

OP posts:
mumofoneAlonebutokay · 25/03/2025 15:31

I am late to the thread but I never regret a day spent relaxing 😭😭

You deserve it ❤️

ScottBakula · 25/03/2025 15:28

Aww no Chinese, but shepherd's pie and crusty bread and perhaps a glass of wine ? Sounds good to me.

I hope your DH has had a good day and isn't to knackered.

Original poster
Morporkia · 25/03/2025 15:04

Chinese is definitely out. DD stopped at the bakery on way here and has brought crusty bread.
Best friend was worried I think. This sort of thing is very unusual for me and I believe she thought she could jolly me up and at 'em.

OP posts:
FamilyPhoto · 25/03/2025 15:02

Glad you stayed in bed @Morporkia .
Since starting menopause I have exhausted days - and you've had a huge amount on your plate.
You have put the idea in my head of a long bath and a very early night 🛌🌙

Original poster
Morporkia · 25/03/2025 14:49

DD downstairs. DH has just called and is getting tired so will be home in about 20 mins. I'm contemplating ditching the Chinese idea because DDs shepherd's pie is lovely. And she's incapable of making an individual portion so there will be enough for a mid sized town. And I can smell cooking. My buttons egg is half gone. Well. Technically, it WAS my grandsons egg, but it's mine now and I'll get another one next time I go shopping. Thank you all for stopping me from getting up. I'm still lying here, but quite content and looking forward to hearing all about DHs day.

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 25/03/2025 14:49

I’ve just come in from being in town all morning and I’ve gone straight to bed (the days of walking around for hours without any effects are long gone). I’ll probably watch a bit of tv and have a nap before starting dinner later. No guilt at all. Enjoy.

Threetoedsloth · 25/03/2025 14:44

Honestly I can't believe your friend had the temerity to tell you off for wasting this beautiful day. Frankly she'd get short shrift if she tried it on me. And what business is it of hers anyway?
It's not as if you've gone full lady of the Camellias. As you might be able to discern from my user name I am a great proponent of the art of the lol (as in lounging around, not laughing)
I am about to have a radical hysterectomy at the grand old age of 69- having it all taken away with a Les Dawson hutch of the bosom, and I am getting all my lolling in now because I know they'll be biting my ankles to have me up and about post op(and I know I have to get moving even if I fancy a lengthy lounge)
You sound as if you deserve every minute of your day in bed and if I were you I'd make sure you build some more into your routine. You know it makes sense.

ScottBakula · 25/03/2025 14:31

Morporkia · 25/03/2025 14:18

DD will be picking me up a Chinese and is coming round in 10 mins to prep a shepherd's pie for DH. She still has keys so I don't even need to get up to let her in 😁

Absolutely perfect, enjoy your lunch .
Your Dd is a star for getting it for you and sorting her dad's tea out .

Original poster
Morporkia · 25/03/2025 14:27

The last time I tried was the day after my mums funeral. But my head wouldn't switch off and I ended up weeding the back garden in the rain. I think DH thought I was having some sort of breakdown because the bastard weeds were getting yelled at and I took an axe to the ivy root whilst screaming at the top of my lungs. Very cathartic. I'd recommend.

OP posts:
theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 25/03/2025 14:22

I do this when I have a day off and DH is at work and I just 'need a day'. Menopause, arthritis, low mood and now diabetes along with working full time and running house with 3 adult children.

I stay in bed sleep and watch TV. I go make myself a cuppa, breakfast, stick a washing load in while doing so, and then take it back up to bed. I get up about half hour before DH is due in and hoover or something.

I need these days and by the sound of it so do you.

LaPetitePouleRousse · 25/03/2025 14:21

This day is a gift for you! You mind and body are crying out for respite. The chores and obligations will wait until tomorrow - and you will manage them all the better for the refreshment of a good day's rest.

I heartily approve of this course of action! 👏

UpUpUpU · 25/03/2025 14:19

I do this often OP. I work nights and also have an autoimmune disease and I never feel bad about it. I need it to function.

Original poster
Morporkia · 25/03/2025 14:18

DD will be picking me up a Chinese and is coming round in 10 mins to prep a shepherd's pie for DH. She still has keys so I don't even need to get up to let her in 😁

OP posts:
PoppyBaxter · 25/03/2025 14:14

You don't need to justify 1 day in bed with having endured 5 years of mental and emotional strain. You're an autonomous human - just stay in bed. Do it once a week if you like.

Zippidydoodah · 25/03/2025 14:14

Breakfast, lunch and dinner, then! 😂

Original poster
Morporkia · 25/03/2025 14:13

He's not quite confident enough to eat takeaway yet. The Chinese down the road opens at 5....wonder if DD will pick one up for me. In the mean time I have 3 easter eggs in the wardrobe.

OP posts:
Zippidydoodah · 25/03/2025 14:09

xigris · 25/03/2025 14:06

Hello @Morporkia (great name) I am a very bossy nurse and I’m ordering you to stay in bed. Enjoy it!

My youngest has a chronic health condition and although 95% of the time has enough energy for 10 people not and again he crashes and needs a day on the sofa. He calls it “rotting away” 😳.

So, go ahead and have a nice rot! Fingers crossed for the biologics.

My son says “rotting away” too. Think it must be new teen speak 😜

@Morporkia - your body is telling you in no uncertain terms, that you need this. So, enjoy every second of it. Also agree that a nice takeaway would be the icing on the cake for you. 💐

xigris · 25/03/2025 14:06

Hello @Morporkia (great name) I am a very bossy nurse and I’m ordering you to stay in bed. Enjoy it!

My youngest has a chronic health condition and although 95% of the time has enough energy for 10 people not and again he crashes and needs a day on the sofa. He calls it “rotting away” 😳.

So, go ahead and have a nice rot! Fingers crossed for the biologics.

WickWood · 25/03/2025 14:05

Absolutely, enjoy it, OP! Order yourself a take away for lunch and eat it in bed x

ImmortalSnowman · 25/03/2025 14:01

Morporkia · 25/03/2025 13:57

Because I don't know what sort of state he'll be in when he gets back.
He was literally bedbound at Xmas. He's excited and enjoying not feeling like an invalid for the first time in half a decade.
I trust his friend 100% to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not over exerting himself.

Can he not pick up some sort of takeaway for you both on his way back? You sound like you need more than just one day off 💐

Original poster
Morporkia · 25/03/2025 13:57

Because I don't know what sort of state he'll be in when he gets back.
He was literally bedbound at Xmas. He's excited and enjoying not feeling like an invalid for the first time in half a decade.
I trust his friend 100% to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not over exerting himself.

OP posts:
Regretsmorethanafew · 25/03/2025 13:52

Why can't he cook when he gets back? Stay in bed