I now have the 'ick' for my DH of nearly 50 years

Even in the late 90s the 14/15/16 year old girls I hung out with generally had boyfriends 3-4 years older than them. They had money and could drive - highly desirable! I agree it’s not right and I think it’s good that attitudes have changed but I think it’s a much more recent change.

Sorry OP but to me it sounds like you have latched onto this to justify you ick with him which presumably you had before he told you about that?

And just because it happened to a few outliers doesn't mean it was normal. It definitely wasn't. I get that it makes it easier to pretend that it was though

Hmm. I'm only in my 50s but none of us had boyfriends that had left school and were working when we were 14. It would have been shocking for a 14 year old friend to be having sex with a 19 year old then. We were nowhere near the level of maturity for that and were inner city comp not sheltered in any way. 14 is so young, so totally understand how you feel OP. And to be sexually active after a few weeks with a 14 yr old when you're 19 just knocks me sick.

You can't pass judgement based on today's standards. As others have said, it was not unusual to have large gaps in age back then.

My parents started dating when DM was 16, and just finishing school, and DDad was 26. When I told my kids recently they were absolutely horrified, as if DDDad was some kind of groomer/pervert....but back then it was completely normal, and accepted by society. Although DM's parents (very sensibly) made them wait until she was 21 before they got married.

Better stop listening to David Bowie and all the other music 'greats' from that era as he slept with 13/14 year olds as did many others.

Billy Whman and Mandy Smith, stop listening to The Rolling Stones!

Time has moved on since those times when it was not seen as being harmful by many.

It's ridiculous to judge your husband about the past using modern day standards.

Seems a bit OTT this was 50 years ago! Poor man!

Mega over-reaction @MagicMushroomOmelette .

Many Things happened 50 years ago which would absolutely not be at all acceptable today. Teenage girls going out with older boys/young men happened a lot. Girls mature much faster than boys and it was accepted that was reasonable that girls would therefore have much more in common with those a bit older, than guys of the same age.

I know of at least two 14/15 year olds having sex - one of whom got pregnant. That was late 60's ( 1967/1968).

You are only 3 years younger than myself, OP. Do you really not remember what life was like back then? Or, in your circle of friends, were you just not aware how different things were back then?

Just turned 14? As in, 13 a few weeks ago?
Yeah I’d be disturbed by that. I grew up in the 80a and yes some young girls went out with much older men but it’s always been a bit creepy imo.
Plus all the pp saying “ when I was 15/16” it’s not the same. Just turned 14 is a child. Sorry but that’s how I’d feel.

Honestly, things really were very different then!

I'm a bit younger than you but back when I was 14 my first boyfriend was 20. Most of my friends had much older boyfriends and yes, we were all having sex. I look back at it now and it seems a bit 'icky' but no-one really thought anything of it at that time. Things were just different back then. Surely you get that?

I get that it might make you feel a bit weird but honestly, this was bloody decades ago. Attitudes have changed and you are being a bit unfair on him.

Switch your concentration back onto the positives about your DH and your relationship and leave this in the past where it belongs.

I know people will say “things were different” but I would be grossed out too.

A close friend of mine: her mother was 14 and her father 20 when she was born.

As a teen it never registered with me but as an adult I find my friend’s father disgusting.

Also is that the same girlfriend the family were lamenting over? It’s part of the myth that insists girls mature faster.

20+ years ago...I was 14 when I started dating my ExH, who was 18. My mother was nonplussed about this. Now I tell my 15 year old daughter that if anyone over the age of 16/17 expresses any interest in her, she's so steer clear as it's plain old weird. Hindsight is 20/20

I remember a girl at school of thirteen always talking about her nineteen year old steady boyfriend. She had big chesticles and seemed to be very knowing, so I just listened in confusion, with my plaits quaking and specs steaming up. Her parents clearly condoned the whole thing and the whole class was impressed.

I was sexually involved with what became my first husband ( when I was 20) when I was just 15 - I do think things were different then and what was seen as ‘normal’ would now be seen as unacceptable-

I see nothing wrong with a teen girl having a relationship, but I'm surprised they slept together so soon. However they were together for many years so that is very relevant. Whatever the circumstances I think you are over reacting, you met him when you were technically a teen and he was 4 years older than you so there isn't a huge difference. You didn't see anything wrong with it then. I think it's more likely he was a bit immature for his age and was drawn to younger people. If he still has a thing for teens then that's absolutely a different story. Fwiw I think getting married at 20 is madness but I'm not going to judge you for it as it was a different time. Maybe you should take the same approach.

Agree. I think you're overreacting.

It wasn't that unusual then I think. Try too e on from this if your marriage is otherwise happy .

14 is very young to be going out with an adult man.
It may have been different then, but it's exploitative nonetheless.

Although my friend left school at 16 and married her 25 year old boyfriend we did try and talk her out of as we thought he was far too old.

I'm in Scotland and she didn't need permission

I think your reaction is unfair. In future many of your actions will be judged by people in the future because attitudes have changed. They were in the same age bracket for dating in the times they were in.

My first boyfriend was 17 and I was 14. Lost my virginity to him. We fizzled out after a few years but he was and still is a lovely person. If anyone was a victim in that relationship I’d say it was him! (Not physical or sexual victim obviously, I would just consider him the nicer person out of the two of us at the time.)

I think 14 year old girls and late teen boys are probably in a similar place maturity wise. You’re being harsh to your husband.

It was half a century ago. It was illegal, even then, for a 19 year old to have sex with somebody under 16. As the adult in the relationship he should have not allowed it to go that far. But he did. It is done. Were there any repercussions? Were they in love? Was it supposed to be forever? Are you saying he groomed her? What is his view upon it now, with the benefit of hindsight? Does he acknowledge that what he did was wrong?

I think it was more acceptable back then. I was at school in the 80s and remember several 14 year old girls having boyfriends in their 20s. It didn't seem surprising at the time.

My first proper serious boyfriend when I was 17 was 21,