I will start with the backstory so as not to drip feed. When I met my husband I was still good friends with my ex who I share a child with. We had been separated 5 years and live at opposite sides of the country so good friends means chatting on the phone regularly, not always about dc, having a coffee at pick up (it’s a long drive so makes sense to have a rest). He was settled with someone else and happy, there was nothing in it but friendship.
My husband found this uncomfortable so I dialled back the contact to just about our child and then as child got older and got a phone I rarely speak to ex at all.
Yesterday I got a phone call from him at a time I would usually be in work. As it happens me and DH had a day off together and he was there when he rang. I answered the phone and EX sounded really upset, he had to leave the call but asked me to call him back soon.
My husband said I should put him on speaker phone when I call him back. He said it’s suspicious that he has rang me when I would be in work when he could have rang at the weekend.
I said I wasn’t comfortable secretly putting him on speaker as he sounded upset and he should be able to speak privately.
My husband insisted and said I was being dodgy and sneaky if I don’t and obviously have something to hide.
In the end I felt I had no choice so rang ex back on speaker and he told me why he was upset, something to do with his younger child with his partner, nothing to do with me but he was giving me a heads up as it will affect our shard child as they are his family.
So did I look like I had something to hide by being reluctant - YABU
or should DH have trusted me YANBU