Sister in law using same baby name

Actually a name is for identification but I’m not sure that always automatically means different from others in the family. In many families - and I believe even more so across the globe than in uk - having names running strongly in family groups is really important to them. Both DH and I have multiple family members with the same names and we all know who is who. It’s true we don’t have any two of the same generation except those who have married in, but there are nonetheless lots of purposeful duplicates ( and triplicates).

I'm liking the way you've put the blame firmly on your SIL and not your brother in the title.

I mean yeah, it’s pretty self absorbed and unimaginative. And missing the point of what a name is for.

Would you say the same if a son was named the same as his father? Or daughter named after a mother?

No you wouldn't. And in those cases - the two people probably live together!

If my sister named her child nearly the same as mine, I'd take the opportunity to rib her about copying me for the rest of our lives . But

No big deal at all, just 2 sets of parents who loved the same name. My sister and cousin have the exact same name, born about 3 years apart, we’ve never confused one with the other, and they’re now very close friends.

My sil ( who had her baby a few years earlier) chose a name I like and at first I thought how annoying. If it had had special meaning for me ( eg grandfather’s name etc) I would have gone ahead probably - or thought about it - but it didn’t so we just chose something else and am so glad we did: I now MUCH prefer it, and am relieved she triggered us to choose something else.

I realise that doesn’t help op as she has already chosen and used the name, but my point was really that things kind of work out I think and it ceases to have much relevance once the big name reveal phase has happened. It’s more of a “ clash” when someone in the class has the same name. And several have married into our family with the same name and we just work round it. Usually context makes it clear who is who.

This wouldn't bother me in the slightest. For most of history people were usually named after relatives and it would have been more surprising if someone didn't share their name with any cousins. It didn't seem to do them any harm and I can't see why it's any worse for a child to have the same name as a cousin than having the same name as a friend or classmate. Typically they spend less time with their cousins. I would try not to worry about this, it's not really a problem.

It’s weird and inconsiderate, annoying for grandparents, the children themselves etc

especially because nicknames could overlap for example a nickname for Grace, might be Gracie , but that’s now her cousins name….

I’d be pissed off

but hopefully it won’t come up too much in the future , depends how much you all see each other

I've not once asked for your opinion despite you feeling the need to quote me to shove yours down my throat.

My first post on this thread was in response to someone else. You've persistently tagged me in responses that are now making a petty chain of school-age bickering.

You've also refused to answer, both times, whether you genuinely thought I meant that classrooms have millions of children in them rather than meaning that millions of children have the same name and that many classrooms have kids with the same name, or whether you were trying to be clever.

If you and your DH are the only link then surely it’s only you or your DH that would mention one of them and the other one of you not know who was being referred to, so come up with your own personal method to differentiate?

Otherwise assume if someone in your family mentions the name they mean the one in your family, and if someone in DH’s family mentions the name they mean the one in DH’s family?

Isn’t op’s Dc about 7?! It wasn’t a very close-run race if so!

I hadn’t thought about it like that

I can go one better than that. My SIL hasn't spoken to me since my daughter was born because we used her daughter's middle name.

It's also 100% my fault even though it was actually my husband's choice of name.

So depressing to blame SIL for the name of your brother’s child 🙄

YABU…

1. For blaming SIL. Why didn’t you name the thread “brother used similar baby name”
2. They are 2 different names, end of. They might sound similar but they’re not the same name. Leo and Theo aren’t the same name, Ella and Ellie aren’t, Gracie and Grace arent
3. Your DD is 7 years older than her cousin, they won’t even be in school at the same time (if you live close). It’s not like brother and SIL popped a baby out 2 weeks after you with a similar name.
4. Your whole family sound like overractors if that’s a word. Even your own DD is asking why the baby has a similar name, rubbing off on her too. Why is your mum being funny about the name, is she incapable of remembering the difference between a 7 year old and a newborn?

I might of been on your side if the name was the exact same and they were 3 months apart but come on, 7 years and a different name… move on

Thinking about it a bit, I believe it might be that people feel they are being slighted - your friend called Eva for example, wanted to think that her friend, whenever she heard the name, thought of her - giving it to her daughter indicates that the mother really doesn't have any previous associations with the name Eve/Evie that would make it unusable, and that annoys Eva a bit as it implies she's not as important to the friend as she might have thought.

Similalrly with cousins. There's possibly an element of "When they hear the name Tarquin, surely they immediately think of my little Tarquin" and realising that no, they don't think about you or your little Tarquin nearly as much as you thought they did, annoys some people.

I see you married into royalty.

@CheesePlantBoxes If you don't give a fuck about my opinion, why are you asking?

She’s 7, I can imagine a 7yo saying that. My niece would have said it at a younger age.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

I couldn’t find it in me to care too much about this, if anything I’d be flattered.

For me it would be different if I was pregnant and shared the name I wanted to call my child, and then that person had a baby before me, and used the name for their child. Then I’d be a bit irritated as if I went with it, it’d look like I had copied. But your daughter is already 7, you clearly had it first, I just don’t see why it matters.

I have a friend called Eva and she was miffed when one of her friends had a baby and called it Evie, as she felt it was weird and too similar to her name. I really didn’t get why she cared so much that her mates babies name sounded like hers.

Even my daughter is a bit confused “why does the baby have almost the same name as me
Right…

Interesting thread.

I can't comment on related kids sharing names, but in my later years I had a boyfriend with the same name as my brother. (Weird in a different way.) We just called them Fred 1 and Fred 2 when we needed to disambiguate. Worked for us. 😀

We have two sets of the same names in our family but it’s from my side of the family and Dh’s side of the family so he and I are the only link. We constantly have issues with needing to clarify which person we are referencing. We have 2 nieces the same exact age with the same name born within a few weeks of one another. We have another pairing that aren’t as close in demographics, but it still cause issues in conversation. We often have to interrupt the speaker and ask which person they are referencing.

So you thought, genuinely, that i was claiming that there are millions of children in each classroom?

And fwiw I wouldn't give a fuck about you mincing your words or not, we don't live to appease you. I'll call my child what I like and if you don't like you, you can avoid the family events, not me, and if you wanted to show yourself up, you'd be welcome to because I expect you'd be the one ostracised.