Sister in law using same baby name

What are the actual names ?
Hard to say if you have a reason to be a bit miffed if we don’t know. Seen posts like this before and it ended up the names were not pronounced anything similar.
Why are you blaming SIL ? Did your brother not have a say ?

Sure no one owns a name, blah blah blah, but I wouldn’t use a name (or a similar variation) if a close relative already had used it. It’s just weird.
When I was pregnant my DH liked the name Thomas but as he already has a nephew named that I said no.

Well it’s ridiculous and everyone in the family knows this. There are hundreds of thousands of names, they are making themselves look stupid.

It's not the same name
I'm sure the grandparents can differentiate.

I think it is a little odd, but more for your parents than you

It's really nothing to get upset about. I have loads of cousins, some with similar or the same names. It doesn't matter.

You've clearly gone on about it in front of your DC if she really is saying that. I can't think of any 7yo that would be bothered by that, many would be delighted.
Dh's cousins nearly all shared a "nearly" name (and I wouldn't count Theo and Leo as close", and the one who didn't - her brother married someone with the same name. They aren't family names, nor particularly common either. None of them has ever been bothered.

I'm so surprised that most people claim it wouldn't bother them.
I would find it really odd to have 2 cousins grandchildren with the same or almost the same name esp if the family are close and spend lots of time together.
It's completely different if they were named after the same relative or it's a family name. But that doesn't appear to be the case, nor does it seem she was named in honour of her older cousin.
At best they realised it was similar but didn't care. At worst they didn't even consider their existing niece. Seems a bit mean and unnecessary either way.
There's obviously nothing you can do about it now. But I don't blame you at all for being surprised and disappointed.

You will always get a 50:50 split on these threads to those who are adamant you don’t own a name vs those who think it’s strange and sometimes upsetting.

i’d say it is very dependant on what is usual on your family and how obscure the name you picked was plus the reason you have picked it.

some people will say that they have twenty cousins called Thomas John and nobody cares. The next person who’ll say that they called their baby Thomas John after their deceased grandfather and then their SIL took the name just before they could use it and so it would be weird for them to use it. They are devastated.

speaking as someone who has a cousin with the male version of my name, it is strange. Thankfully we ended up as adults with nicknames but honestly you think there are billions of name choices and they went with that. My mum was a bit miffed at the time.

if had family members copy something about the names I called my children and yeah, I was a bit upset about it but nothing can be done.

It’s not that big a deal as it’s a different name and actually it’s a real compliment.

It wouldn’t bother me and, in your shoes, I wouldn’t have been troubled by Leo and Theo. However, as this thread shows, people have different priorities and it would bother some.

I agree with PP - it’s odd and a bit troubling that you’re pointing a finger at your SIL for this and not your brother but perhaps there’s a back story which explains this.

Our family share about 4 names. Even more confusing when a relative refers to for example, 'our Sheila', and we have to work out if it' auty, cousin, or sister!
Far more unreasonable things will happen in life
Evict it from your head

It’s a bit odd and i’d probably be a bit miffed too. As would most, if it wasn’t a family name and common to pass down generations. When choosing names surely 1st cousins and friends children’s names are out? Even it something very similar. It’s confusing for all the family.

More odd is they haven’t said why. I think if your SIL had said ‘Ellie is the name of my childhood friend who died so I always wanted to name my daughter after her’ then it would be more understandable, but seems like they just both like the name. Sounds like they are a bit surprised everyone has commented but of course people will, or at least look surprised. Hopefully it doesn’t cause a family rift as this should be a joyous time for everyone.

You are being unreasonable blaming SIL- did your brother not have a say?

This. Why does it matter?

All that has happened is that they see this issue differently from you.
You think Leo and Theo are very close, whereas I don't think they are close at all, and quite a few people will agree with that.
Your brother and sil may feel that Sophie and Sophia (or whatever) have a different sound and vibe so the similarity won't be confusing. You and some of your family feel differently. Nobody has been horrible, and the cousins will be fine if you let this go.

It’s silly. Out of all the names available, they had to choose the same as their child’s first cousin.
Are they generally imitators in life or does this name have some meaning to them?
There’s not much you can do about it unfortunately and it’ll be something you all will get used to.

We had enough trouble when we named our child the same name as his cousin’s cousin, so not even immediate family iyswim. He was was always going to have that name as it was my father’s. We had comments about it being confusing. I said that if they couldn’t tell the difference between two children from different families who were likely never even going to meet, then they had bigger problems to deal with! It’s not an issue imo.

I kind of get it, they just loved it so much they couldn’t not, and they probably deliberated long and hard about it. It’s so strange they didn’t talk it out with you beforehand though. We’ve two relatives same name and we’d call them eg Grace secondname or Grace from Dublin and a Grace from wherever. I thought it would be weird but it’s not at all

So, they like the name. 🤷‍♀️

I would be feeling… conflicted (?) too.

Deffo have a vent on here and get it all out. It’s daft and a little frustrating. but you will get used to it in time.

There are lots of repeated names in my family in the same generations and I had two cousins with the same name, and an uncle and a cousin. DDs are named after my aunt and my paternal grandmother. My cousin's baby is named after our paternal grandfather.

Nah, I'd probably have been miffed.

But it's not actually a problem, it's just a bit like, I don't know, you're a fan of a niche band and then they get really famous and you feel a bit less special snowflake and go round saying "I like their early stuff". It's just an emotional pinch

It doesn't actually pose any real difficulty to have similar/same names in the family though.

I suppose there are families where different generations are named after each other . Sons named after fathers and their fathers before them.

I feel like most people on this thread are saying the name similarity isn’t an issue because they’re not in this situation, but if they were, they’d probably feel the same as you, OP.

If it were me, I’d feel the same way as you. I get that they might’ve liked your daughter’s name and wanted to put their own spin on it, but you’d think with it being so similar, they’d have at least mentioned it to you first.