Sister in law using same baby name

I don't understand why people apparently don't understand. They've done this because they care more about having the name they want than they do about what your child is called.

I would be a bit annoyed but it depends how similar the names actually are. Someone on here previously was annoyed with Amelia and Amelie which are two completely different names so that wouldn't be an issue. If it is Grace and Gracie then yes that's a bit strange but it might have been a name they always wanted to use and they might have felt annoyed at you years ago when you picked it.
Ultimately there is nothing you can do. Your own daughter saying that's like my name is not going to be a big deal unless you make it into one (simply say yes it is to acknowledge it, say they must really like it and then move on). It's also not like they are the same age so will be at school together for people to notice cousins with the same name.
It's ok to feel frustrated about it but then you need to move on (also not sure why you are ganging up with your mum, is this another I hate my in laws type post, in this case SIL, as like others have mentioned your brother surely had an input in the name and if really bothered maybe you could talk to him about it and say how upset you are).

I'm baffled by people saying it's no big deal - genuinely can't believe people can't see the issue. It's so weird!

Don't understand the issue at all.

A name is just a collection of letters.

They've probably always liked the name so why shouldn't they use it

I don't know. We have no idea what the name is. If it's Wren I'm guessing thousands.

i understand where your coming from OP my SIL/BIL did the same thing, one letters difference and a rhyming name between my DS and DN’there’s 1.5 years age gap between the oldest 2 and 2.5 between the oldest and youngest (mine being the oldest one), also we’re a very close family so see each other on average 2/3 times a week socially and all 5 children are in the same school within 3 school years. Same surname too 😅 it’s complex shouting the three girls put it that way 🤣 obviously we never said anything but plenty of other friends and family made comments.

When I was young 30s this would have annoyed me.

But now I’m older? Not at all. I don’t see the big deal and I’d take it as a compliment.

Why does the title blame Sil but not db?

My cousin and I have the same name with the same spelling and growing up had same surname. I don't think my dad's brother ever caused a stink or worried about it in the least. I like having the same name as her and we were called big notmydaughter and little notmydaughter by the family at events when we were together.

I mean, I wouldn't do it myself but it's not the end of the world, they are still 2 separate names.

The part that makes me eye roll is always the faux wide eyed "confused" child in these stories - in reality a 7 year old would probably say "hey that's like my name!" and then think no more of it but no, they're always so "confused" as if this adds weight to the horror of the 'crime' 🙄

I'd tell your Mum not to worry. I often have to point at the grandchild I mean because I've given up, trying to remember, after saying the wrong name for the third time. You know, what's-her-face, the eldest one? It comes to us all.

Really? You think there are currently multiple new baby ‘Gracies’ whose dad’s sister has a daughter called ‘Grace’?

It’s not even the same name! And the fact you think Theo and Leo are similar makes me think you are not reasonable.
You also sound very rude about it all, you say they could see your reaction on your face and you clearly have been discussing it in a negative way with your mum and even your daughter. The glimpse this gives into your family dynamic is quite unkind.

My Great Nan had eight children - five of them have a son called John, two have a son called Michael and the other was child free. It never caused any problems - it was just accepted - though as I got older and thought about it it did seem weird. Maybe that was just how it was in the 50s/60s.

Back in the real world… people are more likely to think ‘oh, that’s weird/unimaginative’ than ‘oh, that’s very normal’.
Yes, according to MN there are whole families called Jim & Pat but it’s always remarkable to the point of people having to bang on about it, and at the same time ‘a bit mad and confusing!’ - so clearly not all that common.

The whole point of a name is to identify someone. I certainly wouldn’t want to be ‘big’ anyone!

Does this mean that you will be vetting schools based on whether there are other pupils with a name like your duaghters so that you can avoid it? Honestly, if people are commenting on their choice of name they really need to get a life. It's a name the parents like and they have a beautiful new baby - and all you lot can think about is some utterly self-centred non-issue? Your daughter picked it up from you.

This. Why is it SIL's fault, not your brother's.
If my brother baby is child something similar to my DD I'd be a bit miffed/bemused but I wouldn't blame SIL.

After a massively complicated situation I met a long lost sister of mine when I was in my 30s.

Our oldest 2 children had exactly the same names and the third was very similar.

Everyone just said "Sarah's Andrew" or "Julie's Isla" it wasn't a big deal in the slightest.

I wouldn't say Leo and Theo are very similar names though, so if you stop venting at folk about the name when you tell people then they probably won't say a thing because the names probably aren't as similar as you think.

Yes, I think she can cope. My grandma had 2 Clares and 2 Johns. She coped.

I’m usually a great believer in the “nobody owns a name” mantra and will always say it really doesn’t matter if you name your child the same as a friend/your DH’s cousin that you see at weddings or whatever. And no child ever suffered unduly from being Alice C or whatever. But to choose the same name as your own sibling is really a bit odd, unless there’s an extremely good reason behind it (eg it was SIL’s grandmother’s name which she’d always wanted for her own child or something like that). Apart from anything else, it’s likely to be rather confusing for your mother! And I’d be very surprised if the new baby doesn’t end up constantly addressed as your DD’s name as people are now used to that and will likely slip into it.

On the other side, though - everyone is alive and well and anyone who judges it as odd will firmly judge them and not you! Nothing you can do about it, so I’d just go with the “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” line and try not to think too much about it if it irritates you. You’ll get used to it in time as the baby becomes her own person. But I can understand your irritation! Of all the names etc….

My mum is now laughing about having to list her grandchildren and say two with practically identical names!

I don't think this is very nice of your mum

I know, because that makes all the difference! It's hardly identifying.

It’s really not an issue. Neither would Theo & Leo have been!

Also why not tell us the actual names?! I hate threads like this which moan about similar names but won’t actually share the names

A friend of mine had this with her sister, she named one of her sons Harry then 5 years later her sister had a boy and named him Harrison. Friend was a bit amused out of all the names out there she called him a name similar to her own son but her sister maintained it was a different name and that he would be Harrison only not shortened to Harry.

10 years on Harrison is known as Harry. Guess her sister just loved the name too much not to have it herself.

I think they should have given you the heads up first. I veered away from a name and it sounded similar to my cousins child although we hardly see them now.