Sister in law using same baby name

Start saying to relatives in front of them that they have obviously named their baby after your daughter. Say it ALL THE TIME.

It will piss them off

This happened to my cousin and I, only I'm the daughter of the 2nd mother and we're only ONE year apart (and went to the same schools). I do not know if there was any tension between my mom and my aunt at the time, but it never was an issue for me or my cousin as far as I am aware ... in fact, my cousin was my confirmation sponsor. 😊

Are they named for someone in the family or is nobody else named this? All the girls on the maternal side in my family have the same name somewhere in there and because there are so many cousins on one side, there are duplicates of the boys’ names. The cousins are close and frequently meet up. Nobody’s bothered, I don’t think. Are you likely to see your niece frequently? Do you live near to one another?

No, that’s not the definition of “normal”. Names don’t belong to someone exclusively. If someone wants to use a similar or same name — thats perfectly “normal” too.

I have nieces named Isabell and Isabella. It isn’t the end of the world. No one owns a given name and there are no “dibs” on names.

I come from a large extended family. I have three first cousins called Bernard. What are you wingeing about? You don’t own the name. Get over yourself. You might also tell you mother to stop laughing behind your Sil’s back - you sound like a couple of mean girls ganging up in an in-law

A dog called CRAIG?? Craig the dog? That's incredible.

We have 12 x Robert in the family and 4 Craig though one of those is a dog. We have an aunt and a dog both share a name. We have a friend of the John Johnson type name. Nobody laughs. There are also nicknames..the tallest is called Titch . My brother and I named sons the same, after a great uncle now deceased. I know many families with duplicate names. No one cares

This has just made me realise that my brother has a Jake and I have a Jack. The children are 18 years apart and live in different parts of the country. It didn’t even occur to me. Hopefully my SIL isn’t furious! There is a limited amount of nice names!

This isn’t the same, but someone in my immediate family called their baby a name that has the same nickname as mine, and now the child is known by the nickname and I’m just called by my full name. It irks me and does feel like they’ve stolen my name.

But they knew that they would have got confused - hence they had to use nicknames and different name variations to avoid it!

I liked a lot of names that were already taken by family and friends, Jack was our favourite name for a boy. Did we call our son Jack? No because it was already used. Normal people find a different name!

Well, I grew up in a family where many people had the same name as first name or middle name. Grandma was Elizabeth, one of her daughters, then two grand daughters first names as well as a handful with this as middle name. None actually used the name in full on a day to day basis, each had different nicknames. We had repeats of Janes, david and Michael too. They were known as jimmy B, Jaime, uncle Jim, uncle Jimmy. Then we had Dave and Davey, cousin Mike, mikey B etc. no one minded and no one got confused.

I don't understand the issue people seem to have now about names. For years families have used the same or similar names for their children and it was considered normal. Looking at my family tree there are a lot of repeated names. Now everyone seems to want to have their child to have a name no one has else has.
I am from a big family and I have two nephews with the same name, and a couple with very similar sounding names and no one has thought anything about it.

I'd judge far more the Op and dm laughing about it, if you mean nasty laughing at the sil, than the sil for using a "similar" name.
And as others have said, most people won't know both so won't be making any thought whatsoever on it.

Why is the answer to everything "jealousy"? I cannot see any way this would be seen as jealousy, except from the Op to the sil. Sil has chosen a name she likes, maybe with a special meaning, that's not being jealous. If anything you could say she thought so little about the names being similar she didn't even realise. That's the opposite of jealous.

Yes they are, OP and her DM are laughing about it and you can be sure others are saying the same. There are thousands of other names , it sounds more like jealousy to me.

I think a lot of it hangs on how the mother was laughing. If it was a mocking 'aren't they stupid' kind of laughter, then that was definitely uncalled for; but it's far from uncommon for people to laugh a bit nervously or defensively at odd circumstances - even if they've been set up by design and aren't an accident of nature.

If I were the DM, I would want to be able to talk about, write cards and present labels for and refer to my DGC individually, in their own right. I wouldn't be very chuffed at having to now use a surname (or parental reference point) regularly for two of my own DGC - just like I don't have surnames in my phone contacts for family members. It may be of no consequence for some, but I wouldn't like it.

Not quite the same thing, but I was once at a pub quiz - with an extra prize for the best team name - and there were two teams with virtually the same (not very original and quite bonkers) name. One was called 'No Eye Dear" and the other was "No Eye Deer". The quizmaster had to keep overemphasising "Dee-aaaaarrr" and "Dee-uuuuurrr" and it was so irritating and rather cringeworthy. That was just for one forgettable evening; not for two close family members' entire lives.

Oh, I realise it's different from OP's scenario, but I (and the PP, I believe) are just talking in general terms about baby name choices that we personally (and others obviously disagree, which is fine) find rather strange.

Completely speculative. The information the OP gives doesn't allow us to conclude one way or another how much they're going to mix in the same community circles, or even if they live near each other.

Even if they're in quite close proximity, they still aren't going to all do exactly the same thing all the time, with people who know both couples and both children. Odds are they probably have different surnames too. So it's more of a Claire Jones and Clara Smith than a Chloe and Chloe.

And again, even of those who do know, some won't give a fuck and some would find it more laughable that OP is this bothered.

I think that laughing about it with your mother is just cruel and OTT.

@BeholdOurButterStinketh , because it is different. Steve Stevens will be Steve at home and to his relatives, but if Steve had a cousin also called Steve/Steven,there will be 2 cousins with the same name, which is OP's situation.

@BeHere , but people will know. Cousins often mix in the same community, and you end up with 'You're Chloe, Chloe's cousin'

@EcruCardigan

I don't see why talking about Peter Peterson-type names is irrelevant to this discussion - especially on AIBU.

Presumably, people with those names were also given them by their parents - who knew what their surname was going to be.

Yes, lots of people have those names - just like there are lots of people in the same family who share names. Some people obviously like them; some don't - but I don't see an issue with discussing our opinions on them - especially if we're thinking from the point of view of the person given those names and whether we would like, dislike or not care about having a similar name ourselves.

I know what you mean about Neville Neville, mind. Whilst it can be argued that it potentially shows a distinct lack of imagination, that doesn't stop me having an alternative version of David Bowie's 'Rebel Rebel' going around in my head every time I see or hear mention of his name!!

@Lolalady There's nothing wrong with names like Peter Peterson, John Johnson etc. I know many people with names like that.
It's irrelevant to the thread.

@BeholdOurButterStinketh , Neville Neville had an unbelievably cool name.

Yes. Most people they encounter won't know, even fewer will give a fuck. Some of those who do know and take any interest will think the first set of parents actually caring is what's stupid. They're in no way, shape or form a laughing stock now.