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AIBU?

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AIBU to say no to DS’s bf staying here after surgery?

183 replies

Atmywitsend30 · 24/03/2025 20:34

DS (22) only works part time and his bf (18) at uni just had emergency surgery for ruptured appendix. Now DS wants him to stay here while he recovers cos he says his uni halls are too noisy and he can’t go to his family cos of “family issues” (not my problem tbh). But I already said he’s not allowed here cos of his past behaviour. Him and DS been on/off for about a year and I don’t like him. He smokes weed (maybe other drugs too), smashed DS’s phone, turned up here blind drunk and woke the whole house up arguing with DS when DS told him to be quiet, and even moaned about my cooking like he’s in a restaurant!! I’ve got younger DC here too and I’m a single mum, don’t need this stress.

DS is saying it’s not like he’s going out partying but I just don’t trust him. AIBU to say no??

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 24/03/2025 20:46

That would be a hell no. He's been violent and abusive breaking phones and smoking weed and disrupting your home with drunken scenes. You're a single mom with other younger kids to care for, not his caregiver.

Hospitals are noisier than university dorms. That's an excuse to get his BF under your roof.

ImustLearn2Cook · 24/03/2025 20:44

YANBU especially because of his previous behaviour. This could be an important life lesson for him. If you want people to accomodate you then don’t behave like a jerk towards them. He can stay at uni halls and wear some earplugs to block out the noise.

fourelementary · 24/03/2025 20:41

Awww bless him, I actually think at 18 he’s still young and I’d feel a bit of compassion. By all means set boundaries and expectations, but perhaps showing him this kindness could help make him also behave a little nicer and see the error of his ways as I’m assuming they’re on rather than off right now and perhaps he’s not been modelled the right ways to behave in life. And I hate the thought of someone being unwell and having no one.

DwarfPalmetto · 24/03/2025 20:39

YANBU I wouldn't trust him either

ShiiiiiiiiiitDinosaur · 24/03/2025 20:38

All valid reasons not to let him stay. Stay firm. No.

Letmecallyouback · 24/03/2025 20:38

If you hadn't said about all that background stuff I might have said perhaps it's not a terrible idea but no, not after what you've said about his previous behaviour.

Changeyourlifes · 24/03/2025 20:36

he needs to be discharged to an adult that can care for him if anything goes wrong with his recovery. You cannot take on that burden. It’s not appropriate. If your son wants to then they need to rent out an Airbnb or something

AlertCat · 24/03/2025 20:35

No, YANBU