Searching your son's room for weapons

I prefer to have a monthly weapons amnesty. No questions asked. I’m obviously joking. I raised my children properly so no need to do something so daft as searching their room.

I don't understand why this story hasn't made more high profile headlines.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/elm-park-met-police-injured-stabbing-fight-b1218351.html

I don't think many do. They carry knives for 'protection' and then things get out of hand. They're also at high risk of being stabbed by their own knife.

So much of it will be bravado that gets massively out of hand.

Apologies for the Dail Mail link - it came up high on the search...https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14367579/Girls-young-five-arrested-carrying-knives-women-caught-blades-triples.html
I think the problem amongst both boys and girls is massively under-reported anyway. "Do you carry a knife" generally gets as honest an answer as that given to doctors when they ask how much you drink! It also interests me that the presentation of the gender difference is disarming - boys carry knives to hurt people and girls for defence. Yeah, right. People who carry knives intend to use them. There are definitely many more young women - and by this is mean under 18 and some very young teens - entering the criminal justice system for violent offences and weapons related crime. The uptick is just as disturbing as that amongst boys - many of whom will rationalise carrying a knife as "defence" just as many girls do. Yes it's more boys, that is clear - but violence related incidents with girls is growing fast. What we hear about is the tip of an iceberg - what hits the news are the extremes cases, but they represent a groundswell.

What possesses a young teen to want to stab someone to death? I don't get it. Like why do you want to kill someone?

I'd be interested in that stats for this if you have them? We don't hear about girls using and killing with knives - is it a huge problem?

Honestly I am not sure that all these stereotypes about failing parents and boys are true. Whenever you read up on biographies of boys who got stabbed or stabbed someone, they often do have involved parents but also parents who cant do much, dont have the cash to leaver london, get their kids away from the gangs. Yes, it's troubled kids, but it's not just because their parents (often mums) dont care. In that sense, the show is actually quite unrealistic. Most of the crime in say London isnt being carried out by white middle class boys. Now a lot of tox masculinity is consumed by those kids, but the weapons part is different. So whilst the show might be realistic in its depiction of online misogyny and how bad some schools can be, they are not all that realistic about knife crime.

I'm not searching my DSs room. I know what's in there - a pile of clothes hanging up on the floor, a wet towel on his bed, all my glasses and cutlery.

I parent him. Not all of the male species are like some boy off telly.

Sometimes nice boys look after things for friends.

I agree with PPs who have said that the ones stashing knives frequently have parents who aren't in control in the house, have multiple problems of their own, or are barely at home. That is what makes them vulnerable to the attentions of gangs in the first place.

Do you have a teen/young adult son at home OP?

Do you know how many girls carry knives as well? Because it's a lot.

The parents who answer threads like this will will of course have nothing to worry about and their sons will not be into knife crime.

The parents of the many boys who do carry knives will have their heads firmly buried in the sand, they won't be opening threads like this as they won't want to be faced with thinking it's a possibility. It's a bit like the parents of the feral 4 year olds in soft play will sit the furthest away and pretend they don't see their child causing havoc as it's easier not to think it's happening than face reality.

Oh I see

Just sons rooms?

And no, I wouldn't, unless I had a very good reason

Surely every parent should be searching their son's rooms or more widely their whole homes?

"Every" parent won't need to, OP, since most of the responsible ones have a pretty good idea what sort of company their sons keep and where they are

Unfortunately not all parents are responsible, so even if those of these particular offenders knew they were tooling up with god knows what, it's best not to assume they'd care

You need help OP.

I don't think the kind of teenagers you're talking about OP have parents who ever go in their rooms. I don't think they have parents who take much notice of anything.

This isn't about Adolescence. It's about the headlines about the very real events in London where a gang of approximately 50 armed teenagers broke into a private party and stabbed two other teenagers on Saturday...

Have searched my eldest's before for weapons when he was living at home. Although he has had a history of self harm so it wouldn't be the only reason. Many boys hide weapons to carry to school for 'self defence.' That's how stabbings start and how murderers are created... Would have absolutely done more extensive searches because of all the news stories if he were here recently

This of course doesn't mean that your son is violent or that he has something hidden.. if he's a good kid then likely not. just better be safe than sorry

These posts relating to the drama Adolescence are getting out of hand

I have taught my son to know the difference between right and wrong and to be a kind, sensible and upstanding human being. The only thing I need to search his room for is the mugs and glasses that he continually forgets to bring down.
Some people need to start parenting this kids and knowing the company they keep.

I'd be more likely to find biscuits and random techy gadgets than a knife. He also has accumulated a huge stationery stash so I'm forever going in there and borrowing things. He's hoping to go into the police after Uni.
No dad or even close male role models on the scene. I checked his phone until about yr 9 and never once saw anything risky.

They should be doing their job as a parent before they get hold of weapon. Removing the item isn’t solving the problem.

It wouldn't cross my mind to search ds's rooms for weapons. Completely unnecessary.