To think stress is pointless because it never actually solves anything?

Once it goes beyond a short term sense of urgency to get something done, it is pointless but I think if you could market a fail proof way of combating it, you’d soon be a billionaire.

Some people are more stricken by it than others but we all have stress in our lives. And I think it’s fair to say it contributes to most types of illness. It can literally kill you and is a step away from anxiety.

For some people it can actually take a permanent hold. I know someone who was dealing with significant stressful situations for a few years. They are all resolved now but she still feels her waking calmness drain away and stress creep in. It’s like it has become her body’s normal state and managing those destructive feelings is becoming as stressful as the previous problems

Stress serves a useful function in many situations, as it’s a motivator for necessary change, but the flip side of that is that we also have to manage stress when we have no means of making a change. That’s life.

Not everything in life is useful all the time. Grief doesn’t achieve anything, either, but it’s still normal to experience it. People can’t help feeling the way they feel.

Stress isn’t a choice. If it was possible to just not be stressed about things that are difficult and/or harmful, nobody would ever be stressed. But that isn’t how it works.

I'm not really sure it's a choice people make.

This is what I meant when I said my relative believes it's productive - not FAO God exactly but just means someone is pushing the worries up to the surface all the time and nothing will take her by surprise.

God is meant to be omniscient. If he is, he will know about everything..he doesn't need to be told. There's a million things wrong with the logic of prayer but faith helps lots of people.
I'm firmly in the..worry about what I can do or change and leave the rest. It's got me through thirty years of a teaching career...

Your OP is confused.

stress is a natural reaction yes, when under stress, people feel stressed.

how much stress we put ourselves through makes it sound like a straightforward personal choice.

This is just another thread blaming people for mental ill health.

I have anxiety and depression. I worry about my adult dc and their problems a lot. However I feel that if I did not, how would God, a higher being, luck know they needed help. So it is my duty, job to try and help. Am I the only one?

Well of course stress isn’t great, it can cause physical symptoms and does with me. When i’ve been stressed with work I can see the changes on my Fitbit. When my close friend died last week my Fitbit gave me a warning the next day. As you say, it’s a physical reaction. I am not an over thinker and generally quite laid back, but certain things in life cause stress, and all you can do is manage it the best you can and limit how it affects those around you.

How do i let go of my hatred of this phrase

Reading a few different philosophy perspectives, counselling theories and Buddhism helps to reason things out. Psychiatrists have found that meditation and guided pathways are better than medication, for the effects on our brains. For situations you can't change, it's true that acceptance is important. When I did counselling about my disability, acceptance was a big part.

You're right, it is mostly pointless but also very hard to keep under control sadly

I'm not sure the OP is saying people should just stop feeling stress.

I read it as stress is largely counterproductive, wouldn't it be better if we could just magically get rid of it altogether.

In a similar vein, I remember ranting once as a teen about period pains being pointless and stupid. Pain is to tell you there's something wrong - there's nothing wrong with a period, so they shouldn't bloody hurt!

What on earth are you talking about?

I agree. When i think about having a back up plan things work out okay. When i think that everything will work out it always goes to pot.

I'm really stressed at the moment. It's just not as simple as you say OP. I know it doesn't achieve anything but I can't just switch it off and feel differently. I'm just about managing to hold it together in public but the minute I close my front door I start to cry. I'm completely overwhelmed and can't see a way forward. It's making me ill.

I think you're being over simplistic, it isn't just a case of choosing whether to be stressed or not.

Well, it's a natural reaction as you say. And may have evolved because stress hormones .make us more alert to potential threats; and in dangerous situations, stimulate 'fight or flight' emergency responses. Of course, stress is not always useful in many of the situations that elicit it!

This.

Everyone I know who is never stressed always has everyone around them stressed and doing everything for them.

Depends on the context, surely?

Last year was the most stressful and worrying time of my life as my son almost died and then spent a long period of time in hospital.

I'd challenge anyone to not be stressed or worried during that time.

I think thats too simplistic. I overthink. I also know it's not always rational. But someone telling me not to worry or get stressed is just so very unhelpful. It's simply not that easy

It is like saying 'have you tried not being depressed'.

Too much stress makes you ill.

Gosh well done OP, you've just solved stress. What was I thinking, I'll just choose to be zen from now on.

Or perhaps it's not actually a controllable reaction? Personally when I get stressed or angry it's precisely because I can't solve something.

I disagree. Worry can serve a purpose up to a point. I gave some professional advice at work recently, went home worried about it and then amended the advice. The first advice wasn't right. If I'd not worried about this I'd have left it and it could have led to a proper cock up.

Google for the comfort, stretch and panic zones. Being in the panic zone is bad but the stretch zone is a good thing!

Complete lack of understanding for severe mental health conditions.😡Ignorant lot