Indian meal - stop moaning and eat!

@DancingOctopus this thread really gives an insight into how awful some people are. How many have said “Yes, I would complain like your Dad, and continue to complain until I had worked out all of my indignation.”

Absolutely do not apologize. The fact that the buffet was disappointing does not make it OK for whine on for hours… being an absolute dick.

I would hold my ground. He didn’t care that he spoiled your afternoon and expected your adoration for him going on. A teenager saying what he did, would be put straight very very quickly. All conversations need to start with There will be no apology.

I agree. His constant moaning after it had been discussed is infantile given the circumstances.

They both sound exhausting though!

I think what everyone is missing out on here is that it was OP who invited her parents ! If I'm invited somewhere I 🤐 even if I'm slightly disappointed of the menu/buffet. Especially if it's my dc taking me out. And if my dh would moan in this situation I would tell him to shut up or leave because it's rude and he's being ungreatful towards his child.

Poor @IGetWeak , no good deed goes unpunished. I would be annoyed with both of your parents ; your father because he acted like an immature toddler and your mother for not backing you up. Next time bring a friend. Or, having read some of the posters here that would act just like your dad, perhaps enjoy a solo meal. No whining on the menu guaranteed.

Weren’t you? That wasn’t in your op. I was on your side to begin with but you’re being so unpleasant and aggressive to everyone who doesn’t wholeheartedly agree with you, I’m now sympathising with your dad.

In this case, I'd tell your dad you've complained already and are waiting to see how much you get back - based, of course, on how much your party appears to love the food they do have a chance to eat.

Common sense would tell one that restaurants shouldn't seat a table of people and charge them full price if they're not going to serve what has been advertised.

How do you know they aren't still in the kitchen preparing for dinner service? It's really up to them to manage expectations of their customers, not for customers to know the ins and outs of how they operate.

I get the feeling you don't want opinions other than your own, but I do think you should have pressed a bit harder - upgraded from 'asked' to 'insisted'. They might have run out of hot dishes but there was nothing stopping them bringing out some chutney for you and cooking a few more pappadums.

I'm not suggesting you should have gone full rage mode on them, but IMO you should have raised it as a problem you expected them to fix. Unfortunately I think that difficult conversation does fall to the organiser/payer of the meal so your DF was probably frustrated that you were happy to let it go and have everyone eat a substandard meal when a bit of assertiveness almost certainly would have improved things.

Did you pay full price for the buffet? Maybe that's the issue he is frustrated at being treated with contempt by thr restaurant. I wouldn't have paid full price for a buffet that's winding down an hour before the offer ends. You should have been warned by the waiter when ordering that what you see is what you get.

I think you and your dad are both a little bit in the wrong here. It's not clear from your posts whether/at what point you complained to the restaurant. I would have said to them that if I'm paying for a full buffet I expect to receive one and that would include sides, chutneys, etc. I would have asked them what they intend to do to make it right. I would have told them how disappointed we all were. Did you say any of these things? And yes actually I do ask to take a look at the buffet before I sit down at a buffet restaurant.

But your dad shouldn't have kept going on and on about it. As your guest that was very rude of him. His behaviour was worse than yours and he's more in the wrong, but I don't think any of you handled the situation particularly well. And when people are hungry it's even more likely they'll get ratty and annoyed.

Also your dad has form for this kind of behaviour which means your annoyance and resentment has built up over time - over your lifetime, pretty much. It's not just a one-off which makes it that much harder to tolerate.

I agree. I think going at 3 was risky as that's really the last 'serving'

Seriously? I used to go to a buffet every Sunday, there was just as much food at the end as there was at the start. If a buffet finishes at 4 pm there should still be enough food left for anyone arriving up until 4 pm - you don't start winding down over an hour before the place is due to close the doors.

I agree the continual moaning would be annoying, but I would have been complaining to the owners.

If you don’t want to use any refund on your parents, that’s up to you. But you asked what you could have done.And if you’re paying, you’re the one who can negotiate with the restaurant and are in a position to try and insist on better treatment. Not your father.

An Indian curry buffet with no poppadoms, sauces or side dishes sounds pretty shit and from this thread that’s clearly not a niche position. Quibbling about the superlatives is just avoiding the point.

My mother was like this and I feel the OP’s weariness! If she wasn’t happy with something we’d have to hear about over and over until someone sharply told her to let it go because she’d drag everyone else down and ruin whatever we were doing. She simply HAD to be heard. Most frustrating esp when it’s a simple lunch or dinner, not a special/expensive occasion.

OP, I feel for your frustration with this thread.

You ask one question and people answer another.

YANBU about your father.

Try and have some sympathy with the multitude of posters who have failed to understand your not particularly complex post and are advising you to develop psychic abilities, criticising your for paying or, particularly unfathomably, explaining that they agree with your father.

Some people are stupid and they can’t help that.

I feel some places are massive rip-offs these days with not advising of food shortages or why a menu item has changed but still charge the full price.

That place should have these popular items on hand at least to 10 minutes before the end of lunch service.

Normally in that sort of situation I'd have got up and asked to speak with the manager to one side to see if I could persuade them to cook something else for us or to get a significant discount (with which I could then promise to take Dad out for a beer/ice cream/box of chocolate frogs after). I promised a treat and it wasn't so I'd try and save things somehow.

I understand that you don't like the repeated whinging and if your dad has form in other scenarios I see why you were primed to want to immediately shut him down. But I don't think just nodding grimly and changing the subject is a particularly good way to handle a disappointment like that that's ongoing. Especially if you and your mum were chatting away and he was a bit of a gooseberry with nothing else to focus on (which I realise may not have been how things went, but it sounded like a possibility from one of your posts). I have been in restaurants where it was supposed to be special but was actually spectacularly shit and we've generally coped by indulging some shared outrage and making fun of it a bit. Not getting annoyed at people being annoyed.

Dishes, not dish’s! Flipping auto!