Indian meal - stop moaning and eat!

Yes I often say to people that I’m putting up with whatever it is as well, but I’m being twined at on top of it 😬

Sulking as an adult is pathetic and unacceptable. I wouldn't be taking you anywhere again.

Dear God. At 3pm on a Sunday afternoon? Nowhere open at that time where I live.

Well as you say -sulking. It’s a very unpleasant habit, and adults subjected to it throughout their childhood tend to give it very short shrift.

Prepare for your children to give you the same response one day, and to roll their eyes at you acting the cry bully afterwards.

I disagree. If I were going to a buffet at 3 pm advertised as being available from 12-4pm I would expect the full selection to be available. It sounds like a common issue in SE England where they fail to anticipate demand and fail to get enough food in, like my local Tesco that has run out of something I want at least three quarters of the time I shop there.

Having said that the correct thing to do after having a quick moan with each other is to make a formal complaint to the manager and demand a reduction on the bill on the basis that they didn't get what they paid for. The wrong thing to do is whinge on and on and on and on to the rest of your company and piss everyone off, so I think the OP's response to the father was reasonable. If gobshites never get called out they will forever be gobshites inflicting annoyance everywhere they go. The problem in this country is people are so quick to leap on the retaliation whilst completely ignoring or even trying to trivialise/justify the provocation, which ultimately provides an ideal environment for bullies to thrive (and probably why we have so many thoughtless antagonistic people in society).

Well possibly but I would expect poppadoms to be brought out when asked and they should have offered to make something fresh for them if there wasn’t enough food available. If your charging for something then you have to provide it.

I would not be able to control my sulking if I went for an Indian buffet and they had packed the veggie sides, poppadoms and chutney away. Team dad.

It's not amazing at all. She WAS being assertive in the restaurant by not allowing her dad bully her into action that she didn't think was warranted. She thought the buffet was alright, not great. She thought his behaviour was abhorrent so after attempting to politely make it stop she stood up to him.

You really seem quite confused. Being assertive does not mean losing the ability to make decisions for yourself.

Once again, what has whether the OP asked for a discount got to do with her father's behaviour? He wasn't getting a discount, and it was none of his business whether she did or not and would have had no impact on his enjoyment or otherwise of the meal.

It’s amazing how assertive OP is being with any posters who question anything, but was unable to do anything when the waiter explained that none of the usual accoutrements for an Indian meal - poppadums, mango chutney, veg sides etc. - were available because it was a full hour before the buffet closed.
I avoid confrontation at all cost, but as the meal organiser at that point I would have asked to speak to the manager to ideally get the items refilled, or get a significant discount on the meal. It seems like a preferable option to shouting at one of the invited party who may be moaning, but simply expect to be able to enjoy the meal as it usually is.

Oh dear.

Again, so like my dad. I would tease him, tell him I knew the ending to the story or point out it was 35 years ago and still it was the same rant over and over.

He died absolutely miserable after months in hospital which he spent ranting about all the hardship he had suffered; people pulling out in front of him in traffic and so forth.

I find myself being quite hard on DH when he starts with the ranting no matter how harmless it seems. It gets worse with age and sucks everyone else in all around.

OP I understand, my mum is exactly the same and she’ll bring up the complaints for years afterwards, there are shops I dread walking past with her because just the shop sign will start her off about how a shop assistant was rude to her in there 20 years ago, her life is a never ending cycle of complaints.

If this happens again, when your Dad keeps repeating himself, I suggest replying - and repeating exact same words each time - "yes Dad, it's disappointing. What would you like me to do about it?"

This gives the superficial impression that you're trying to help, but also forces him to admit that there's nothing you can do

As an aside, I think was a mistake to arrive at 3pm. I'd expect it to be winding down. But astonished that an indian restaurant can't rustle up some poppadoms. That's v poor service

Do you think they "should have asked" the question about whether the buffet was adequate (one they had already answered themselves in the OP) rather than the question about their father's behaviour and if so, why?

Constantly restating the bleeding obvious (the buffet wasn't very good) seems pointless to me but if people want to say that, they have every right. What they don't have the right to do, without pushback, is to say it as though it is an answer to the OP's actual question.

OP is just not a doormat except when it comes to her parents perhaps 😉 accepting people to treat her like an idiot when clearly she's not the only one to expect a buffet to be replenished at 15 if they close at 16 h. If some of you would express your opinions in a friendlier tone you will get friendlier responses from the OP as well.

But this is AIBU. So you don’t get the answer to your question - you get the answer to the question you should have asked. Plus some random & irrelevant advice.

So;
Dad was unreasonable to keep moaning.

Anyone dismissing the importance of poppadoms is being unreasonable.

The restaurant is being unreasonable to stop replenishing the buffet a whole hour before it closes.

The OP should consider wearing a different colour coat now it’s Spring, but won’t necessarily be judged as unreasonable until we have more details about the parking situation which the OP has been suspiciously quiet about.

To be fair, if you are going to reply to someone
"Um, common sense? It was 3pm an hour before closing, ffs."
Then I am not sure why you are clutching your pearls when they don't take that as a piece of friendly and constructive advice.

It's not that people don't agree with them, it's that people are completely missing the point. It's not "was it right to complain about this service", it's "was it right to moan constantly when someone has taken you to a restaurant and is paying". Anyone saying "But I would have wanted popadoms!" simply doesn't get it. This is about consideration for others and being able to look outside oneself. Not about whether side dishes should be served at a buffet.