Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

What do you feel would be proportionate and would you (and all the other parents) be prepared to pay for what that costs?

we have to accept some level of risk. What happened in Southport was beyond horrific but the likely of it happening again is very small. That’s what assessing risk is about - likelihood v outcome and putting in proportionate control measures . Locking a door would feel like increasing risk - should they need to evacuate or emergency services are called for example.

Driving a car, crossing a road, hoovering the stairs etc all have risks many are completely beyond our control but we still do them.

What would you propose for outdoor clubs?

But is that responding to a genuine risk? People mainly aren't going out on murdering sprees, and we can't constrict our lives as if they are. The solution to this isn't to lock the world out, devastating though the events you've described are.

It's not reasonable to expect your child to have security everywhere. The Southport incident was a dance class, but it could have been anywhere. A toy shop, a craft activity table in a mall, a Build-a-Bear workshop, outside a school at pick-up time, literally anywhere where children are.

Do you really think the Southport killer would have shrugged and walked off had the door been locked, and that he couldn't easily have smashed a window or kicked down a fire escape? Or simply waited outside until the children left the building or someone opened the door to leave?

But it is though. The poster is highlighting that horrible things can happen all the time and there is no way to cover all eventualities

The locked doors would be more a concern to me than it being a comfort

I think we need to take stock of the fact that things like the Stockport event make the news in such a big way because they are so so very rare.

Gently, I think this is your anxiety over-ruling sensible risk assessment. 'Probability' is one half of the risk assessment score and given there must be hundreds of thousands of these classes a week across the country and these incidents of mass murder in the UK are probably single figures. If you drive her there she is almost certainly more at risk of death on the roads, given on average 5 people die each and every day.

Obviously if you don't like that dance class having the fire exit open, then join one that doesn't, but I certainly don't think it's any more risk than any outdoor sport/club where there are no doors at all.

I think it was to put your assumptions about 'safe' and 'not safe' into context.

Oh yeah good point!

The reality is that if someone wants to get in then they will. Quite a few dance classes will open doors - it gets so hot and most can’t afford lovely air conditioned studios. Even schools aren’t secure like that - it would be straightforward enough in most cases to scale a fence and then run riot. Thankfully we are so shocked about incidents like Southport is that they are very very rare. The human brain is appalling at judging risk - something is more likely to happen walking down the road or getting into a car.

I would be far more concerned about a locked door impeding evacuation in the event of a fire or similar.

DD regularly gets the Tube. What about the 7/7 suicide bombers?

We go to Borough Market - what about the knife attacks?

In reality she is more at risk of being knocked over crossing the road. A girl I was at school with was looking after her little brother and he was killed crossing the road. It destroyed her.

Southport was horrendous. The 7/7 bombings were horrendous. Lockerbie was horrendous. But all were outliers, you can't live your life as if they are the norm.

And your concerns about psychiatric patients are a bit worrying, as they aren't backed up by evidence.

You really need to calm down

A one in a million chance, less than that even.

It's not healthy to think this way.

But locking the door isn't useful. The doors are opened during pick up and drop off. If someone is keen on killing kids, they could drive a car into a crowd in the city center. Or smash the window with an axe. Or gate crash a school summer fayre.

I hate to say it @loveyoutothestars but neither of those things are going to stop what you fear. And that is what you are going to have to live with that nothing will stop these things happened but just trust they are so infrequent

The sort of security required to stop a similar attack would be so expensive and impractical as to be unworkable.

@loveyoutothestars are you worried about careless woman driver driving into the school fields and kill your child at school? Maybe you should given there's a case in Wimbledon https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwy4w6lqp4lo

I hear those Land Rovers are very dangerous.

I don’t think there’s anything you can reasonably do about this unless you stay yourself or withdraw from the class. Your anxiety is completely disproportionate to the risk.

You can’t expect a dance teacher or every other provider of children’s activities to hire security.

Please do take a breath. Stuff is happening up and down the country without 'security'
Compared to all these classes happening everyday, the instances of an incident is minute. This isn't america where every hormonal teenager can shoot a school.
Look at the stats.

I mean I can 'get into' them because all the parents can walk into the schools and wait outside the music room for pick up and drop off. Anyone can run in with a knife and start murdering. I can't think of a single venue that my children's activities run that aren't vulenerable to this.

Unless you have security and bag search, how do you suggest stopping this?

I do understand your concerns, and I share them sometimes. But, I have made a conscious decision that I refuse to live that way and let my anxieties of extremely rare and uncontrollable events curtail mine or my children's lives. It's not just kids groups, it's major cities, big events, walking down the street, flying, and the possibility and likelihood of as yet unknown horrors to come... You can't control all of these, you have to take sensible precautions, possibly discuss this with the teacher, but allow yourself to live. x

Southport was horrific but thankfully very very rare. You need to work on your anxiety rather than wanting every activity behind locked doors.

Really and how would that be managed, the DBS checking etc finding someone willing to do it and frankly the risks involved in offering a job for a man to watch a child’s dance lesson.

I would be much more put off by that at my daughters dance class than what the OP describes

You are over thinking. If you are that anxious, then you need to withdraw your child from all her activities.

Not sure where you are based. My children does music and guides. Both are in venues I can easily get into if I wanted to. For example, orchestra practice is in a local school and you can just walk in if you want. Guides are held in the local guide centre and village hall and it's the same. Cricket is in a field in the local village and anyone can park their car and walk onto the field.

Do you want bouncers at doors for all these events? Then no one can afford to run anything.

Understand fully where you’re coming from on this. I would suggest having a think about what could be done to improve, as a PP said would you want a bouncer style presence? If so, would you be happy paying the extra ££ per week to cover this?