Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

@loveyoutothestars but risks are a balance and for every risk you solve the solution itself can become a risk.

For example locking the doors at night - great at keeping out potential burglars. Potentially causes more time to get out if there is a fire.

door shut here - keeps people out yes but again keeps those in longer in need to get out. Plus dance classes get hot - it is often pleasant to get air in

Our local council has asked us (the local village hall associations) to consider how users of the hall rooms can secure the doors in an emergency, This is in direct response to the Southport attack.

All of our rooms have now been fitted with bolt locks that allow those in the room to lock themselves in. There is a special tool that will open them from the outside but that is held close by but off-site. It is up to each hall user whether they lock themselves in or not. Most choose not to.

You could ask the owner of the venue what provision they have made.

Your child is more at risk walking along the street than in a dance class.

School shootings like Dunblane are a one in a million chance too but gone are the days when anyone can wander into a school.

Surely just an intercom door system would be common sense? I'd ask the teacher to please keep doors closed at the least.

I assume OP meant a fire exit door to outdoors, in which case propping it open doesn't make it ineffective at all.

Why would you expect security? This is exactly what how's on in almost every village hall around the country

You are over anxious

The door is locked after registration and the fire exit is kept closed.
Fire is a much bigger risk, and locking all doors would be a disaster in this situation.

You have to keep things in perspective. How many classes happen across the country every single day? Thousands and thousands. How many incidents have happened? Your child is more like to be hurt in a car accident or indeed any type of accident than they are at dance class.

At the very least, you could point out that a fire door which is propped open is totally ineffective for its intended purpose.

I’m saying over reaction.
But that’s because my own dcs do tennis. It’s fully open, as you’d expect. Nothing to stop children to leave, an adult no one knows to come. Parents aren’t staying either.

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Unfortunately a number of recent mass fatality incidents have been people driving into crowds. Someone could easily drive through parents and children arriving or leaving. Or attack a group doing an activity in the park. Im not sure what the answer is but I'm sure it's not living our life constantly in fear.

There was a case years ago in my city of deaths at a nursery. It was a parent of a child there, and as a parent they knew the security code for the door to drop/collect children. From memory they had some psychotic break, went there, let themselves in, then started on with kids and staff with a knife. This sort of thing can happen in any environment. What if the dance teacher goes loco? Doubt the 18yo assistant will be much good, so you probably don’t want a locked door to stop others entering in a timely manner to assist.

You can ‘what if’ to the cows come home. But, I think you need to accept that things like this are extremely rare events and we can’t all live our lives barricaded against them, that’s not really healthy.

How on earth do you expect for her to afford it? Are you going to pay for it yourself? I’m sure she barely makes any money, do you really think 20 people paying probably about £5 each is going to cover private security costs as well as the costs she already has hiring the room she uses?

It’s both helpful and relevant. Vehicles of all shapes and sizes are driving past schools up and down the country every day of the week. While many schools do have fencing or walls that would catch most runaway vehicles, the Wimbledon tragedy was such a fluke that no one gives the issue much thought. By comparison, a random attack such as Southport is vanishingly unlikely.

DD's ballet class was exactly the same - one adult teacher, one teenage (under 18) helper, parents not allowed to stay and watch, and no locked doors. I think it's a normal and acceptable level of safety, for what is a tiny tiny risk.

And what about outdoor classes like forest school, sports clubs, outdoor holiday sessions? I don't think it's realistic for children always to be locked away.

My immediate response was to think you were being unreasonable, but on reflection, I remember when my two were doing ballet at the community centre, and keypads were put on all the doors, that during the class in the hall, the room was fully secure, and the teacher's TA (over 18) escorted them to the loo. It was just seen as reasonable safeguarding.

I think the teacher was worried about a sea of parents just walking into the hall when the class finished, and losing track of which child was actually leaving with which adult.

So I don't actually think you are being unreasonable.

Agree

take the horrific Ariana Geande concert bombing that occurred - that cannot stop us letting our children go to concerts

we can’t stop using the roads etc either.

The root of this is I think the firedoor being left open to air the room (which is the difference between dance and brownies). I don’t think at firedoor or a locked door is going to be the difference between these things happening and not

Kids classes cannot afford to hire security. If you're that worried, stay and watch.

In reality though, what would you be able to do if a madman walked in swinging a knife? Very little, I'd argue - as most of us wouldn't.

People with frightening mental health issues walk among us every day. It's a bit of a 'There but for the grace of God go I' situation. There is no way to pre-empt it. One of the scariest things about these kinds of tragic events is often the sheer randomness of them.

Kids parks don't have security. School playgrounds and playing fields don't have security. Soft Play centres don't have security. A little barrier that checks people in and out is easily jumped over. A door with a buzzer to be allowed in and out can be easily breached when people enter/exit.

The World i absolutely full of risk, OP. We have to do our best and crack on with life. We cannot make demands on small businesses to put in expensive security measures that will likely never need to be used.

It is relevant as she is highlighting your irrationality.

Life is full of risks, I personally wouldn't worry, it is highly unlikely an intruder will attack your daughter. The car journey to and from class is probably more dangerous.

The incident in Southport was horrific but thankfully hugely rare. Your child is more at risk from the teacher or helper (especially if parents can't stay).

It is utterly terrifying to think about what could happen to DD.

But I can keep.it in perspective, and allow her to live her life.

I mean this kindly, I think you need some help with your anxiety.