Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

I’d want the doors shut locked when everyone is in and the fire exit shut as it’s a fire exit! But security is unlikely as who would fund this? If you’re worried can you go and stay?

I think everyone has felt this way at least once and even though kids get more independent (and thus more at risk) I do think your worries naturally go down as they get older (or maybe they have to otherwise you’d go mad) - so I think that will help you. Be kind to yourself - some news stories just do trigger us for reasons unknown and I have certainly been periodically worried about someone getting into my kids school etc.. though in reality I know the only lockdown they’ve had for 10 years was for an escaped pig in the playground! It is very unlikely that Southport tragedy would happen to your child but I can see the parallels - dance class etc.. that would set your mind going. I run a scout group and we have to think about that sort of safety thing but as others have pointed out - getting out of a place safely because of fire etc.. is always top of the list of concerns and to be honest Id maybe be as worried about kids needing to get out quickly because the threat is from someone inside… you never know. Certainly locked doors hold their own danger..
I would talk your anxiety through with someone - your doctor maybe? because they will validate it and reassure you that it’s fine to feel this way whilst giving you tools to calm your anxiety. If you can’t get over it I think it’s OK to take your daughter somewhere where you like the set up more - just make sure it’s for rational reasons..

It is relevant as a rare occurrence which killed children and something which no amount of mitigation can stop. The problem is your anxiety not the class security. FWIW I am both a mother and someone who has anxiety myself.

Hit enter too soon.

OP, a dance class is infinitely less likely to be the scene of an attack than, eg, a town centre or a shopping mall or an outdoor event, but presumably you go to places like that with your daughter all the time. You’re being completely irrational about this.

It’s an interesting discussion. Everyone is right about it being more likely that a child is knocked down by a car than someone enters a property and starts killing children. However, this doesn’t stop schools being locked though. They have really strict provisions for safety and it’s interesting that children’s activities don’t operate the same way. And I get that outdoor activities etc can’t be locked down and I’m not suggesting they should be but I don’t think the op is being unreasonable. We take our young children to school in a very safe and locked environment with lots of processes and procedures for safeguarding, then just drop them off at ballet with one adult only and all the doors open.

I think it's reasonable to have a chat with the teacher and mention your concerns, maybe acknowledging some anxiety in the process and come at it with curiosity (what their risk Ax is) rather than they aren't doing enough type thing.

I do get it, I took my DD to Disney on ice at the weekend and I thought a lot about the Ariana Grande concert bombing, as we were at a similar sized arena. I was so reassured by security there, bag checks and people scanners etc. so I do think it's good when we can take something from these incidents. Though I'm not sure what the solution would be in your case other than perhaps leaving the door shut and using a fan to cool, instead of having it wide open.

OP, ask to see the venues risk assessment. The dance teacher may also have one. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with highlighting this with her.

I don't think the responses are off topic, they are just explaining that you can't control every eventuality and an unlocked door at a dance class isn't going to solve the problem you think it will. Everyone has anxiety about some things but whether it is "anxiety" which requires medical help or just normal anxiety is determined by comparing it to the norm or average and these threads will tell you what an average level of concern amongst one group, which is not necessarily representative of society as a whole, looks like.

The thing is though the brownies arrangements you've just described are more dangerous in the event of a fire surely?

Which is more likely, a mass stabbing incident or a potential fire?

Sometimes you cannot eliminate all risk

I think people are being overly dismissive of your concerns here. After the Southport attack anyone running children's classes should have updated or reconsidered their safeguarding protocols to mitigate the possibility of a knife wielding intruder being able to gain access. It might be a rare event but once we have one very highly publicised event, there could be a higher chance of a copy-cat style attack.

Of course, the risk can never be zero but I don't think it's acceptable for any Tom, Dick and Harry to be able to walk into a room containing a group of children only supervised by a couple of adults. Keeping the fire escape door closed and having some sort of buzzer or code entry to the main door seems sensible. Neither of those things prevent egress in the event of a fire or other emergency.

I don't know what the security set-up was for the place where the Southport attack happened but it may well have been the case that Rudakubana would have been deterred by a simple entry system on the door. He didn't seem like the best organised of criminals - wasn't he prevented from attacking his old school because his dad wouldn't let him get in a taxi?

Not being pandered to, so shut it down?

I think most posts have acknowledged the fear we have of anything bad happening to our children. But if that fear gets out of hand we are stopping our children from living their fullest lives

Yes, you are being a unreasonable.

Risk is part of life. I have you g children who extra curricular activities, and most aren't locked. The risk is incredibly tiny.

You can't stop a nutter who is determined to find a way to hurt anyone (including children). Having a reception, entrance gate, etc is irrelevant too as anyone could have a concealed knife or gun (and larger weapons in bags).

Life is too short to panic about these sorts of tiny risks. Someone could walk into a church, library, shopping centre, swimming pool, cinema. Thankfully it's incredibly rare, but there's little we can do about it.

Of course she can although it would need to involve the premises owners she's just hiring a room isn't she?

A mass shooting at a Scottish school was a "one off" security in schools has changed because of that

, I do think that things that go on in village halls or brownie huts need to consider security and safety and not leave fire exits open etc..

Really wish they would teach risk assessment and statistics better in schools.

She can’t run her business unless you parents pay for security. It won’t be viable.

I know they’re not- please don’t jump on me as this is very traumatic to post about.

obviously the Dance teacher isn’t going have a new door and entry system installed so OP will need to ask them to make better security out of whatever is there.

im just asking people to consider that security that stops people getting in is also at a risk of stopping people getting out.

^^ that was in response to @Gloriia

“No one is suggesting doors are bolted and a padlock insitu that no one can open quickly.
These days there tends to be a quick exit button that one presses.”

But locking the door isn't useful. The doors are opened during pick up and drop off. If someone is keen on killing kids, they could drive a car into a crowd in the city center. Or smash the window with an axe. Or gate crash a school summer fayre.

Thank you.
If that hasn’t alleviated the OP’s fears for her child’s safety nothing will.
Thanks for caring.
FFS.

I understand thoughts like this popping in to your mind but it’s really not healthy to allow them to have any headspace at all.

OP : most people here have said your issue with the dance class is over the top, but many empathise why you feel like this,
you are not going to get the validation / head pats you are seeking, you are now seeming to snap at those offering their opinions, that you invited - take the advise you’ve had and do with it what you will !!

Just press report on your post say posters are attacking you, calling you ridiculous and it is causing you distress, mnhq will probs delete.

I can't say as I ever thought about security for a dance class in a village hall, nor should anyone have to, regardless of recent events. For little ones I'd want to know the teacher was keeping an eye on them and that they didn't have too many to watch over. But that's it. There have always been random horrific mass killings from time to time. At least it's once in a blue moon, not every week like in the US and we don't have a gun ownership culture.