Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

To be honest one security guard may not be much use against someone with a knife or a gun.

I do get the concern after Southport but like many others have said the risk is very low. Which is of no comfort if it happens to you/your loved ones.

I think door security/buzzer systems is more workable than security guards. But would still rely on a second person assisting the dance teacher so they can let in late comers, etc. Even then some nutter could push their way in once the door has been opened for a genuine person.

Ultimately it won't stop a determined person. If someone really wants to do harm and can't get into such a venue they will just go somewhere else , a shop, a post office, a drs surgery, a train station and start attacking people. In Cumbria a guy just wandered round some sleepy villages shooting random people. Look at Hungerford.

They're generally locked from the outside but anyone inside needing to escape can push the bar down.

This.

You’re not going to find a security guard who will want to work for 1 hour either.

But it did happen in real life! I think you mean it’s not common? I bet those parents didn’t think it would happen to them either!

Pretty much this. It was an awful, awful thing, but statistically speaking is a tiny risk.

The sort of thing that happened in Southport just isn't the main danger your daughter faces. Things that will actually have a material effect on her safety are stuff like teaching her good road safety, understanding how important seatbelts are (especially as she gets older and isn't under your control), teaching her about consent and how she has the right to say no etc. Those are all real, concrete things you can do to keep her safe.

Dance classes have been happening in these little halls for generations, mostly without incident. I used to go to ballet in a hall, with so many kids in a room it does get hot so it does make sense to let some air in. They are probably at greater risk of fainting than being attacked. Locking fire exits also puts the girls at risk during a fire.

These type of halls are cheap to hire. If the teacher were to change venues to somewhere with a security system and air conditioning or hire a bouncer she would have to put her prices up and potentially damage her business.

Me too. Children in a panic are going to run to the same doors they came in by.

If you raise it with the teacher ,you need to have some sort of solution in place. Personally, I hate the idea of locked doors and locked fire exits. Be careful you child does not pick up on your anxiety.

I feel you on this one, my 7 year old is in an athletic academy and the gym they train in is so open, doors propped open, the big shutters (which lead onto main roads and business parks/industrial estates) are open during summer, anyone can wander in and out - it all made me feel sick with anxiety as I felt she just wasn't safe and you never know who is about.

Luckily they’ve just put locks and keypads on the doors leading to the gym athletes train in, and are going to be investing in air con so the gym doors can remain locked over summer months without opening the doors and shutters. I would voice your concerns and see if there is a solution to this to make the place more secure, even if it’s as simple as locking the door and putting a keypad on it so only those with the code can come in x

OP, there's a solution — you stay and become security for your daughter and the other children and encourage other parents to do the same. You can challenge anyone unknown who tries to enter and also be helpful if any of the children are ill or need to leave before the end of class or whatever. Set up a rota with other parents and take it in turns. Talk to the teacher about it and suggest it.

There always have been and always will be murderous, insane people who randomly turn on people. I was in New Zealand, always cited as one of the three safest places in the world to live, in 2018 when British tourist Grace Millane was murdered. Despite all the violence you read about on the news, the UK is still one of the safest countries on the planet.

OP I think the majority of posters are just pointing out that incidents can happen at any time, anywhere. We cant predict them and we unfortunately cant prevent them sometimes. The Southport incident was obviously a tragedy but a very, very rare occurrence. The point is, bad things happen. People get into car accidents, we cant avoid getting in cars. People get ran over, we cant avoid walking down the street. A little girl in my hometown was very brutally murdered on a children's park a few years ago, absolutely heartbreaking but we cant stop taking our children to the park. The point being, bad things happen in life but thankfully the odds of them happening to you, at your daughters dance class are very slim. Its about managing our anxieties and having a reasonable head. We cant live our lives expecting tragedy to happen.

Have you spoken to other Moms about your concerns. I totally understand where your concerns are coming from. Mental health problems seem to be on the increase with little support or care in the community. Maybe approach the teacher and voice your concerns. Would it be possible organise a rota where parents take a turn at staying at the class to be an extra pair of eyes incase of any suspicious behaviour. Then doors and exits could be closed quickly to secure the safety of the children.

It’s comparatively easy for schools to be secure. They’re purpose-built, professionally-run and have many employees present at all times during the school day. Unlike clubs, attendance is mandatory for most children. Plus, they might be considered targets given that they’re very visible buildings containing dozens or hundreds of children, so the additional security and associated costs are easily justified.

what if there is a fire? A locked door poses a risk in that scenario

That’s not how a discussion forum works or should work (MN do tend to shut posts down because the OP throws their dummy out of the pram) - you shouldnt get to shut it down just because you want it to end

If you don’t want to engage in the conversation any more then don’t but people can and will continue the conversation if they want to

OP, some of the kids in these groups are KS2 and not much older than yours. Mine started at 9yo. She's a September child, so there could easily be 8yo in her class there.

I think the assumptions are 8yos are old enough to know they shouldn't leave the venue without their adults.

The groups are mixed with secondary kids. That's the reason why many will be leaving the venue to the carpark themselves. But they don't keep the little ones in.

Our dance school makes it clear children are not allowed to leave the building without being picked up at the door by an adult. Doesn't stop some adults from telling their kids to come out to the car park or stand out by the curb as they literally can't be bothered to walk inside or even park in some cases.

This 100%. About half the parents don't even walk to the rooms to pick their children up. Their children leave the schools on their own and went to the car park to find their parents. They don't stop the children from leaving.

It's not went off topic at all, you just haven't had the answers you wanted. People aren't being mean by saying you need help with your anxiety, they are being truthful.

Your daughter - or any other child - is far, far more likely to be injured or killed travelling to and from the venue than by someone wanting to hurt her/them.

DC1 also played cricket and the field is open to everyone. You have to drive there but parking is ample and free. No gates, no doors. I don't see how it's safer than a village hall just because it's a field.

Oh and the doors to those rooms aren't locked either. I stand outside every week waiting to pick them up.

In the weekend, the kids also walk from their practice rooms to another building, unaccompanied, to the tuck shop to buy sweets.

But schools aren't locked after hours. My children go to the music county orchestras and they were in two local secondary schools. The doors are open and anyone can walk through and go and stand outside the rooms they practice in.

Very similar to after hours drama practice in the performance hall. It's not locked.

As the situaiton in America shows on an ongoing basis fences and locks and security guards aren't enough. It is other things that keep UK schools safer than US ones. Personally if there's one adults only open doors mitigate what I'd think would be the greater risk of grooming. I doubt most parents would happily pay a significant amount more so a second adult can be present. Our dance school makes it clear children are not allowed to leave the building without being picked up at the door by an adult. Doesn't stop some adults from telling their kids to come out to the car park or stand out by the curb as they literally can't be bothered to walk inside or even park in some cases. We can't expect similar levels of safeguarding in a small dance class as an educational establishment. Those are situations where it's up to parents to mitigate risk to the level they feel comfortable with.

I used to fear a car would mount the pavement and kill me and my first born when I had PNA. Logically I knew the risk was very small. The problem wasn't the very rare possibility of a car veering off the road and killing us, the problem was the level of fear I had was disproportionate to the chance of it happening. Relying on children being locked in all the time isn't a great strategy, they don't then learn how to take precautions and manage risk, if the risk is always mitigated they don't even learn its a risk at all.

You've been jumped on OP, it's AIBU.

I think you have a point. The security we have in schools now, and safeguarding practice generally, is built on responses to awful incidents like Dunblane and Colombine.

I remember reading on here someone worrying about hosting a children's party, worrying that she would lose a child. Heaps of people piled on saying how silly. Turned out she was a school teacher and counting heads was part and parcel of her school day. I'd much rather leave my kids with someone like her who thinks about this stuff than someone who doesn't, and is fine with 5 year olds in their care wandering off to public loos by themselves. Since reading that post I've been much more aware of counting heads at birthday parties, and preferring venues where the loos are in the party area and not public. I know you are not talking about kids wandering off but it's a similar principle - the professionals often take this more seriously than random members of the public. The fact that other professionals who look after your daughter are more careful with doors says to me that you're not asking a stupid question. The question is what do you do about it, if anything.